10 Pillows, 3 Blankets and A Cold Empty Bed.

It’s 12:30 in the morning and I can’t sleep again. It’s been a crazy week, and very long at that. I think I need to majorly work tomorrow so I can add some hours to my time sheet and make more money. Need to save in case I don’t have a job come November 1.
I don’t want to go home to NJ. I really don’t. I need someone to hire me and have a normal 9-5 job like everyone else does so I can still have a social life. That’s all I want. I’m happy in an administrative position. As long as it’s not retail I think I’ll be okay. I can’t do that anymore.

I decided to leave Verizon. I wasn’t learning the new things to keep up and I was only working 1 day a week. I didn’t want to have to wait an extra week for commission to happen every month when I was able to earn it, that’s not how you do business at all. When an amount is owed to you on a certain date, then it’s owed to you that date. I think it’s for the best anyway. I have my weekends now to work more and have play time again.

The title of this blog seems fitting right now, I have about 10 pillows on my bed, a cat and 3 blankets. With no one to hold or cuddle me at all. I haven’t had a good cuddle in so long, I’m starting to forget what it really is even. I just want someone to wrap their arms around me and keep me warm at night sometimes. Is that too much to ask for anymore? I guess so, since it’s been maybe a year I got some actual cuddles or something. Maybe I should hire someone to do that for me. I’ll pay in cookies or brownies.. think that’ll work? Probably not.

I guess I’m just lonely. Been working alot and not seeing anyone except like 3 people. We haven’t done Arena in about 2 weeks, and I don’t know why. I guess they’re sick of me? Who knows anymore. I think I try too hard to be nice and the good person… lol. All it does is get me shit these days. Sometimes I just wish my efforts went appreciated and acknowledged.

Anyway. Here’s some new photos I took with my phone.


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