Tag Archives: awareness

Why Should You Be a Virtual Assistant?

Hi everyone! Long time no talk. I’ll post some life updates here in the next week but I wanted to share something with you first.

I decided to test out an AI blog writing system, and this is what it provided me.

As technology progresses, more and more jobs are becoming remote. One of the most in-demand remote jobs right now is that of a virtual assistant. If you’re self-motivated, organized, and able to multitask, this may be the job for you!

As a virtual assistant, you work for multiple clients at the same time, so it’s important to be able to manage your time effectively. This might include responding to emails, scheduling appointments, managing social media accounts, or even the occasional data entry task. One day, you may be helping a small business owner launch their online store; the next, you could be sending reminders to a busy executive.

While it’s easy to get started as a virtual assistant, there are some skills and traits that can really help you stand out to clients. Business owners and professionals often look for virtual assistants who can speak multiple languages, write well, or have specific industry knowledge (like accounting or legal). Experience with technology and software is also a plus.

Logo for business VYKD.

There are countless benefits to working as a virtual assistant, starting with the ability to work from anywhere. Unlike traditional administrative jobs, you don’t need to be in a specific location to do this kind of work. Many virtual assistants choose to live a nomadic lifestyle or work from home, enjoying the flexibility and freedom that it provides.

Those who are interested in becoming a virtual assistant often enjoy working for themselves, setting their own schedules and rates. Since you’re essentially working as your own boss, you have greater control over your workload and can often choose which tasks or clients you take on.

To be successful as a virtual assistant, you’ll need to be great at communication, both written and verbal. You need to be able to build a rapport with your clients through emails, phone calls, and video chats. While you may never meet some of your clients face-to-face, you still need to establish trust, which is essential to building long-term relationships.

In particular, a great virtual assistant can anticipate their clients’ needs, providing solutions before they are asked. You have to be resourceful enough to look for hidden problems and talented enough to offer solutions that improve workflow, productivity, and the bottom line.

Being a virtual assistant can provide plenty of challenges, but it is a great opportunity for those who cherish the chance to help others and work on their own terms. It offers fantastic rewards both financially and in terms of work satisfaction. Many people end up finding a fulfilling and profitable career as a virtual assistant. Will you be one of them?

Misconceptions About Borderline Personality Disorder – Payton via In The Flux

Borderline Personality Disorder is probably one of the most stigmatized yet underrepresented mental illnesses out there. What people know about BPD, if anything, is often times cherry-picked and wrapped in Hollywood style dramatics.

This exaggerated idea of us even finds its way into the mental health system. Many mental health professionals don’t want to work with us, believing we are too hard to treat or just don’t have experience with Personality Disorders.

Which leads me into the first misconception…

1) It’s impossible to treat us

This stereotype often found in the mental health community is definitely not true. DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy), one of the most successful therapies used for treating people with BPD, was created in the 1980s by a psychologist named Marsha Linehan, who also had BPD herself. And this has been the preferred treatment for BPD ever since.

In addition, there have been several studies done that show BPD can get better with age. I personally can’t attest to this, as I am 21, but only time will tell.

  • BPD is only found in Women

Although 75% of people diagnosed with this disorder are women, there have been reports that indicate that there may be more men with BPD than expected. Many of them possibly being misdiagnosed with something else such as Bipolar Disorder or PTSD.

  • We don’t feel empathy

Having low empathy is not one of the following nine symptoms of BPD:

  1. Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment
  2. A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by extremes between idealization and devaluation
  3. Identity disturbance: Markedly or persistently unstable self-image or sense of self
  4. Impulsive behavior in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging
  5. Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-harming behavior
  6. Emotional instability in reaction to day-to-day events
  7. Chronic feelings of emptiness
  8. Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger
  9. Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms

Although, some may see these symptoms and equate that to having low or no empathy. People with BPD are often thought of as having ‘3rd degree burns over 90% of our bodies’, as coined by Marsha Linehan. Meaning we feel everything. Everything we do and feel is in extremes, which can include empathy.

  • Everyone with BPD is the same

There are nine symptoms and out of those nine you need at least five to be diagnosed. So, there are countless combinations of traits one could have. So someone with BPD can have completely different symptoms compared to someone else who also shares the same diagnosis.

Plus, we’re still human. We all experience things in different ways. This disorder is also on a spectrum. So, someone might experience all nine symptoms to a severe degree, compared to someone who might only experience five at a lesser degree.

  • Borderline Personality Disorder and Bipolar Disorder are the same thing

I can see how these often get conflated. Firstly, BPD is a personality disorder and Bipolar Disorder is a mood disorder, but they do share some similar symptoms. For example both disorders experience mood swings, albeit in a different way.

Often times, when people use the word ‘Bipolar’ flippantly, (think ‘Oh she’s so Bipolar’), the mood swings that they’re talking about are more in-line with someone who has BPD. We experience mood swings several times throughout the day, everyday. Some can last just a few minutes, to a few hours, or sometimes a few days.

As with Bipolar Disorder, I don’t have personal experience with this, so I don’t feel comfortable speaking on it, but here is a great article highlighting the difference between the two.

To be inclusive in bringing awareness to mental health, we must speak about the lesser-known or ‘scary’ mental illnesses and challenge these stereotypes. You can’t paint people with one brush. We are individuals with different feelings and experiences. Although, as pervasive and unwanted these symptoms are, we can still love and be loved, feel joy and happiness, and experience life.

I encourage you, even if you have never personally struggled with a mental illness, to challenge these biases that permeate our society. Everyone has been touched by mental illness in some way, whether that be you personally, a family member, or a neighbor. With a history and culture that hasn’t been very kind to us, education is the key to disrupt and change these unfair stereotypes.

Author Bio: Payton is a lifestyle blogger over at intheflux.com where she talks about mental health, social issues, and lifestyle and wellness topics. You can find her on Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest.

Distraction in the Modern World – Taryn the Dragon

Greetings to The Unsanity readers from Taryn The Dragon in South Africa. I work full time in the Data industry, study part time and blog on the side. I’m quite new to blogging and this is my first guest post. I’m super amped to have this opportunity. Thanks so much Koral Dawn.

dragonballWhat you need to know about me

I have depression and anxiety and a host of other chronic illnesses that have had a huge effect on my life. In 2019 I entered therapy to deal with all of the stress. I’m on a journey and I have had to take a deep look at myself and the world around me. There is an underlying theme that comes up often with mental health issues is that of mindfulness: Being conscious or aware and present in the moment.

Recently I have been watching videos that could help me become more in tune with myself. Observing people like Dr Gabor Mate, Alan Watt, Dandapani, in the hopes of understanding what mindfulness truly means. I know it sounds cliché but it has been quite a revelation. You can find my musings about this journey on http://www.dragonscodex.net.

Let’s talk about the world we live in

Adulting does not come with an instruction manual. Even great parenting does not quite prepare you for living in this golden age of technology. Information at the click of a button. Friends on WhatsApp (1 billion users) or WeChat (697 million users) or Facebook (1.59 billion users). Strangers on Twitter (320 million users) or Instagram (400 million users). Family just a Skype (300 million users) call away. [1] How do we actually get anything done? What I’m saying is that we now live for the thrill of ‘Distraction’. And this is why we need to cultivate a mind-set geared towards mindfulness.

How to move beyond distraction

Have you ever looked at your device and just thought “FFS ~ now what!?”. That’s a very good indication that you need to start practicing mindfulness for your own sanity. Let’s explore a few mindfulness concepts to aid you in your daily success.

Stop making excuses

Image by TeroVesalainen from Pixabay

Do what you say you are going to do. If that means going to the gym at 5am, do that without fail. You are building trust with yourself and in so doing gaining confidence in your decision making.

Control your awareness

Multi-tasking is great but it splits your focus and actually makes it harder to allot sufficient time to a specific endeavour. If you’re working on a proposal put the phone away and close your emails. The world will not fall apart if you give yourself 20 minutes to do something. Focus on this one thing. If your attention drifts bring it back to what you are doing.

Meditate

Image by CadreLuxe from Pixabay

No I don’t mean go assume the cross-legged sitting asana and chant endlessly, unless that’s your jam. I mean have some quiet time to get away from the noise. Be still, sit with your thoughts, have a nice cup of coffee. Be comfortable doing absolutely nothing and being alone.

Get clarity

Know what you want to achieve. Know how you are going to achieve it. The easiest way to do this is to make a list or keep a journal. And always note your achievements as they keep you on the path you want to travel.

Walk away from energy vampires

Ain’t nobody got time for this! To quote Dandapani: “Treat energy the same way you treat money. It’s a finite resource that needs to be wisely managed and invested.”

Uplift others

Image by Grae Dickason from Pixabay

When stuck in your own mind or even your own world where things are not quite going according to plan, do something for someone else without expecting any benefit in return. By uplifting others you uplift yourself. You’re present in a beautiful moment that will keep you going through difficult times.

Embrace change

All of these concepts require some effort on your part. It means you need come to terms with changing your life. As for me, it has helped me find this lovely Zen spot where there is less stress, more energy and more love. I’m really enjoying it this balance.

[1] Attribution for stats: https://makeawebsitehub.com/social-media-sites/

Valentine’s Day and Holiday Coping – Lexie Wohler

When holidays such as Valentines Day come about, do you find yourself getting down in the dumps? Does the thought of being around a large crowd for Valentine’s Day or any holiday frighten you, or make you anxious?  Does decorating for the holidays stress you out? How about preparing for a family reunion with a dinner? There are some things you can do to make yourself feel better.

You don’t have to always host the holidays at your house. Try to limit having people over for any holiday get together, if having a party makes you anxious.

You don’t have to decorate extravagantly for each holiday either. Only put out the decorations that you have the energy and time to put out. Be sure to pick out some of your favorites so you get to enjoy them.

You can limit the number of people that you invite if you decide to host a holiday dinner party. The less people you invite, the less stress you put on yourself.

Make the dinner menu simple instead of extravagant. If you keep it simple, and make something that you enjoy cooking, it makes it more enjoyable to prepare. If people don’t like what you’re cooking, they will just have to live with it for one day, or they can leave if they don’t like what you’ve prepared. Leave the choice up to them.

If you’re down in the dumps about any holiday, specifically Valentine’s Day, do yourself a favor and treat yourself to a meal that you really enjoy.  Or make your favorite meal. Eat the meal in front of the TV or watch your favorite movie. Have a cup of your favorite wine or whatever drink that you enjoy, whether it’s non-alcoholic or alcoholic. Enjoy yourself instead of dreading the holidays. The holidays don’t have to bring you down. Remember that you are in control of the way you feel.

If you find yourself down in the dumps about not having anyone to spend Valentines Day with, don’t give yourself too hard of a time. Rather enjoy the time that you get to spend by yourself. Think of time alone as precious time with yourself. Enjoy the quiet moments that you get to have. If you learn to enjoy being alone and appreciate the time that you have, then you will learn to cherish the time that you could eventually have in a relationship. Finding love takes time, so don’t rush into anything that you’re not sure of. If it doesn’t feel right, then don’t rush it. Whenever the right person comes along, you’ll know.  

Take each day as it comes. Try to enjoy the holidays. Not everything about the holidays are bad. Just adjust your thinking. Instead of thinking negatively, try thinking positively. It will help you relax more. Take time away from the stress of the holidays to find yourself. Focus on yourself instead of focusing on how stressed you are. Make sure to find things that you enjoy doing that coincide with the holidays, so they can be more enjoyable for you. Don’t put pressure on yourself, just let things happen as they happen.

Remember, it is ok to feel down in the dumps during the holidays, just don’t stay in that place for too long. Don’t let it ruin your day, or your outlook on the holidays. It is ok to feel stressed, but don’t let it take over your thinking. Try your best to enjoy your life, no matter what holiday might be coming up.

Lexie Wohler is a repeat guest blogger with The Unsanity and you can find a few of her pieces scattered throughout my website. ❤

Freebie Friday, Instagram Story

You guys – It’s Friday again, can you believe it? I am so happy!

I have a special freebie for you today for all of those who have Instagram and use stories alot. It’s called Mindfulness Bingo. If you use it, please tag me in your stories!

Mindfulness Bingo Freebie 2/7/2020

Time For Another Freebie!

Hello readers! It’s been awhile since I had decided to make some simple freebies for you all. With the holidays being busy and alot of my time being taken up with work and drama and everything else; I just haven’t been able to do what I wanted for those of you that look forward to these. I promise to have more coming in the next few months!

What other freebies would you like to see here? Comment & let me know!

*If you want the version without the blog name, please comment and I will be happy to send it to you. 🙂

10 Self Care Ideas For The Winter – Ruth

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Today, I thought I would share some self care ideas for the winter. It is very easy to forget about self care and looking after yourself during the colder season. You just want to stay in, watch TV and stay warm all the time. Yes, these are all forms of self care in itself. However, I hope this list will give you a few more ideas and motivation!

  1. Buy Something Soft And Warm

Buy yourself a nice warm and soft blanket, jacket, hat, pair of gloves, socks. Anything. You will feel so happy and cosy!

  1. Go Out For A Stroll (And Get Yourself A Hot Drink On The Way)

This is one of my favourite forms of self care. Although I understand you may be put off doing this whilst it’s cold. You don’t have to go too far. Just wrap up warm and treat yourself to a hot drink on the way!

  1. Make Yourself A Hot Chocolate With Marshmallows and Cream

I absolutely love hot chocolate so it had to be included on this list. Make sure you go all out, put in some big marshmallows, squirty cream and even chocolate sprinkles. Treat yourself once in a while and enjoy it by the fire.

  1. Do Some Baking

Spend some time baking and making some festive cupcakes, cookies or gingerbread men. There are lots of recipes online to follow. I always find baking and decorating the cake (to give it a festive theme) extremely relaxing.

  1. Make A Christmas Playlist, Listen And Relax

There are so many great tunes out there for the holiday season. You will not find it difficult to create a feel good playlist to put on in the background whenever you want to chill.

  1. Make Your Home Smell Nice And Festive

Invest in incense sticks or a candle with a festive scent. Put them all around the house and enjoy! I especially recommend a gingerbread smell.

  1. Stay Focused On Skincare

It is really important to look after your skin during the winter. Your skin can get really dried up in the temperature. Go out and invest in some lip balm and a good moisturiser. Korean skincare is definitely the best in my opinion. You will feel refreshed and amazing after using it.

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  1. Take A Warm Shower (Or Bubble Bath)

There is nothing nicer than taking a warm shower after a long day. Especially when it’s really cold in the middle of winter. The only downside is, you won’t want to get out!

  1. Stay Healthy

I know it is difficult to stay away from sugar and chocolate during the holiday season. It is the only time of year when you can get away with eating lots of it. However, you need to remember to still be healthy. Make sure you have your 5 day and you drink plenty of water.

  1. Start A Journal To Combat Seasonal Depression

Seasonal depression is very real, and affects many people! I highly recommend starting a journal if you haven’t already. There is nothing worse than keeping all your thoughts and feelings bottled up. So, get all those thoughts and feelings out on paper every single day. You will feel so much better afterwards and like a heavy weight has been lifted from your mind.

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I hope you liked some of these self care methods and it gave you some good ideas. You need to remember to look after yourself during all times of the year. Always put some time aside every single day to practise a few of these methods. You won’t regret it.

Ruth (ColourfulHope) xoxo

Ruth is a repeat guest blogger with The Unsanity who has previously written about dealing with stress and the holidays from December 18th 2019. You can find her contact info there along with other ways to find her and follow on social media.

The Late Goodbye

Picture it: you just got engaged and you’re planning who to be in the wedding with you and stand by your side just like in all aspects in life. You send out your boxes for them to say I do as well. Now, to remind you, these are the four only people over the years that have been there for you and hung out and made sacrifies to be with you and vice versa. Now picture this: only two of them show up. That’s what happened to me, and it turned my wedding planning and day itself into hell. Here is the story of a 14 year old and a 15 year old friendship that disappeared as quickly as you can say I do.

Two of my oldest friends, we’ll call them X and Y for story purposes, skipped out on the most important day of my life after being inseperable for 14 and 15 years.

One of them, we’ll call her X, just never even responded to my inquiry of my proposal box asking her if she’d be in my wedding. Mind you, I had been talking about it since I was engaged, and she knew it was coming all along, then decided to not talk to me for a few weeks, and never got an answer, so I eliminated her because I can’t count on someone when they don’t even appreciate your offer of knowing you were “best friends.” This was the easier of the two, thankfully and unfortunately. I have not spoken to her since either. No messages, no updates, nothing. It’s truly heartbreaking.

The other, she will be Y, bailed the day OF my wedding. Great, right?

The planning was a nightmare from day one. A little back story, I didn’t pick a Maid of Honor for my wedding because it was a small private ceremony with only friends and our mothers and photographers. Y was obviously annoyed I didn’t choose her, however, she was never the one to care about other people before herself, and I knew this when I met her when I was 14 years old. She was fighting on everything I wanted to pick for my wedding (note: MY wedding) even down to the little black shawl I wanted to wear over my dress at the top because my dress was strapless. I have bigger arms, and wanted them to be covered a little. “That glittery shawl doesn’t go and hangs way too low in the back and doesn’t match your hair and what you want to do.” Really? I let it slide.

Planning festivities for the night before – “I don’t want to go bowling, that’s not bachelorette party type stuff!” Okay, so don’t go, but again, repeat, it’s MY wedding and this is what I want to do for my night before and I don’t want to get drunk at all. We can enjoy wine at the hotel (which my two best friends and I did) after the restaurant we went to. “Wait, we’re going to a restaurant? Can my boyfriend come?” My reply to her was simple, stating yes but he needs to sit at the bar because this dinner is for people in the wedding party only and our mothers. No one else is bringing their significant other to this dinner, it’s just going to be us.” Her answer was what really got me: “Oh, well then better make the dinner for 9 people because I’m not letting or making him sit alone.”

Y never showed the next day. She never messaged me. She never was in the party. All because I told her the dinner was for wedding party only and this is what I wanted for my big day.

And this was the day, the day before my wedding, I finally realized that she was never my best friend all along. She was only my friend when it was convenient for her, and fit into her schedule. She had bought the dress, bought items for the night before for the little hotel party we were planning, and all the accessories. And wasted her money because she never showed.

She always put whatever boy she was with first, and never her friends who stood by her side through everything. Since I was 14 years old, we were together daily at camp, and then after camp at her house and on weekends because she lived so close. I will be 30 this year… and it took me 15 years to realize this I guess. Better late than never in my mind, but what a way to make your wedding day alternatitely the best and worst day of your life.

Now, the two girls who took the reins and planned everything with my mom, they’re who are worth fighting for. They are my rock, they are my best friends, and they are the people who are going to be there for me when I need them most – and they have been. Neither of them stopped texting or calling me while I was living across the country for a year and a half like X and Y did, they kept in touch, and wanted to. They are my support system and who I need by my side.

Sometimes it takes an act of disgust, unreliability and pure heartbreak to truly know who your best friends are, and it’s just unfortunate that this had to happen on my wedding day. I will never be sad about losing people that I now know never cared; I will be sad about all the years I wasted thinking they would never break my heart – and my family’s heart as well.

When you lose a best friend, you learn some hard lessons. Like everything and everyone else, people change. My happiness is important to me – it should be to them as well. If this what was supposed to happen, then so be it. Thanks to them, I feel I’m a better person and have a weight lifted off my shoulders I’ve had on there for way too long. I’m not bitter, and I’m not mad – and I won’t ever be for letting go of something that freed my soul.

The devil grins from ear to ear when he sees the hand he’s dealt us. Points at your flaming hair, and then we’re playing hide and seek. I can’t breathe easy here, less our trail’s gone cold behind us. Till’ in the john mirror you stare at yourself grown old and weak; And we keep driving into the night. It’s a late goodbye, such a late goodbye…

Late Goodbye, Poets of the Fall

Blogging Goals for 2020

Catch the Sunrise

I know I’m a little late to the game with these New Year’s posts… but life has just taken up too much of my time since Christmas. I was out of work for a bit for the holiday, then my bosses were out a bit for the holidays and one of them still is (jealous!) and things have just been really hard to concentrate on. Well, I’m hoping that will change in this new year and I want to get my mojo back and stop procrastinating.

I’ve come up with a list of a few goals that I want to implement for my blog this year and a few things I really want to focus on. Most are for my blog, but there are a few things in there unrelated to the WordPress blogging platform, but still include writing or publishing.

  • Write more authentic material about my life, my mental health and how I deal with it. Afterall, this is a mental health focused site, and I would like to keep it that way.
  • Upload more photography with my posts that I have taken, or taken specifically for that post. Too many times I’ve used sites like Unsplash for photography for my personal posts, and while I do have a photography page on my blog here, I think I need to start taking specific photos for each blog I’m writing and put some more time into that aspect.
  • Publish another piece or two for Thought Catalog this year. I’ve written one before, but it’s been so long, I think it’s time I write some more in my down time… whenever I may have that.
  • Create a page on my blog for my Virtual Assistant Services that I offer to small businesses. I’ve been doing them freelance for a little bit now, and I don’t really have set documentation yet except a SOW and way to Invoice everyone. I think it’s time to focus on that a bit more.
  • Continue taking guest bloggers throughout the year. I’ve been doing this since October 2018 and would love to make this consistent on my blog for 2020 and beyond even. I can count this as an ongoing goal I think and make it happen!
  • Challenge myself to write at least 4-5 posts per month of my own content and help tips for readers.
  • Focus on Pinterest more to drive traffic to my blog and make my own Pinterest graphics to go along with each post I create. I haven’t really been focusing on Pinterest much, and from what I hear, it’s great for impressions and to find new readers.
  • Write about my experience with online schooling with SNHU and how my classes go. I am taking 2-3 classes this year and I really want to keep track on how it goes. I know alot of people do it these days and want to keep up with it.

what are your goals for 2020 for your blog?

It’s About to be a New Year – Lexie Wohler

 

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As 2019 draws to a close, what things do you think about? Do you look back in regret over the things that you weren’t able to accomplish? Or do you look forward to new opportunities that will dawn for you on the horizon? Do you look forward to spending more time on the things that are really important or do you dread the do to list that the new year brings? How many times does another new year stress you out instead of excite you? Think about why the thought of the new year scars you, and figure out a way to combat the anxiety and fears that you have.

A new year can be scary in all of its aspects, and its okay to be scared and uncertain about what the year may bring. But don’t let the uncertainty and doubts stop you from accomplishing what you want to do in your life. Remember, each new day of the year is a chance to get out of your comfort zone, impact the world in ways that you never thought possible, and to impact others in ways you never expected.

Don’t let anyone talk you out of following your dreams. Follow your heart and your dreams.  Do your best at anything you do. When times get tough, turn over your worries to productivity and leave them at His feet while you continue to do His work. Don’t let anyone or anything stop you from finding your purpose in your life. Don’t let anything or anyone stop you from doing what your heart wants you to do. You will give the tools needed to face each new day this year, head on. Keep moving forward in 2019 and never let anything stop you.

Some people choose to go back to school and finish their degree or change their degree in order to get a better job, to make more money in order to provide for their families. While others may be offered a raise in their profession, others may not get a raise right away. Remember as you go through the year to be patient with yourself about the choices you make. Don’t feel as though you have to take on everything and anything all at once. It’s not healthy or achievable for you. Don’t lose yourself in the things you’re trying to do. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself that you literally become an outer shell of yourself. That isn’t ever worth it.  Don’t rush into things that aren’t what you really want to do. Instead, take the time to figure out what your passions are and really focus on them. If it’s writing, then go all in with it and take some classes at a school or online to hone your skills. If it’s painting, then take some painting lessons through YouTube or through a painting group like Painting With A Twist. Remember, no amount of education can ever hurt you in your quest to figure out what you want to do in your life.

If you’ve constantly been taking care of other people in your life, use this new year as a time to finally rest, recharge and focus on taking care of yourself. You can only take care of others if you are healthy yourself. Don’t run yourself raged trying to carter to everyone else’s needs. Remember, some of the people won’t be pleased no matter how much you cater to your needs. If someone gets offended by you taking the time for yourself instead of focusing on them, then you can distance yourself from them or completely cut yourself off from them. There is never anything wrong with taking the time to care for yourself, physically, and mentally.

Let this new year be your best one yet. Enjoy every part of the journey as best you can.

Lexie Wohler is a repeat guest blogger and you can find her first post and bio here.