Hey everybody! My name is Tyese Knight. I am a mommy of 2 and a blogger at Strong Mom Sad Mom. I am passionate about helping moms with mental illness feel confident, strong, and empowered. I have struggled with anxiety most of my life and postpartum depression after the birth of my 2nd child. I am committed to breaking the stigma of mental illness by sharing my story to help others. Follow my journey on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, & Pinterest!
I have always been an ambitious dreamer. I set big goals and work hard to accomplish them. Sometimes my ideas work beautifully and sometimes I question why I even try!
In the race of life, we are bound to have setbacks, whether minor or major, that cause hiccups on the path to our goals. It can be challenging to rebound from these setbacks. Feelings of self-doubt, anger, guilt, or sadness can hold us back even more. Just because we have these feelings, it doesn’t mean that we should stop working towards our goals. Here are 3 steps to overcome setbacks and move forward confidently.
Step 1: Mourn Your Loss
So you messed up, screwed up, or just had some bad luck. Most people would say, “Don’t be sad about it.” I’m telling you now, go ahead and be sad or mad about it. It is okay not to be okay. We can’t be happy go lucky all the time!
Sometimes we just need to feel what we feel and get it out of our system. We are capable of experiencing a wide range of emotions for a reason. There is something we need to learn from those feelings.
If you need to bury your head under your comforter or veg out in front of the TV for a few days, go ahead and do it. Unpack your sadness and other negative feelings. Just don’t stay in that place permanently!
For the New Year, I made a goal for weight loss. As soon as January 1st hit, I was on it! I made better eating choices, started counting calories, and exercised daily. Unfortunately, after a weigh in at the end of the month, I was disappointed to discover that I did not lose a single pound. I was PISSED.
So I gave up…for a few days. Started eating my feelings and stopped waking up early to exercise. It was a pretty pathetic sight but I needed to be in that place for a while to lick my wounds.
Once you work out your feelings about your setback, you are in a better place to pick up the pieces and move on.
Step 2: Evaluate Your Missteps
This step requires you to figure out what happened to cause the setback. In other words, what could you have done better to prevent this from happening?
That means you need to put on your big girl panties (or big boy underwear) and admit that you may have played a part in your own setback. It might be hard to hear but if you really want your goals to work out, you have to take responsibility for your actions.
Sometimes we have our blinders on and we can’t see the situation from any perspective besides our own. It may be helpful to find a friend or colleague you trust to help you see it from a different point of view.
After my foiled attempt at losing weight, I whined about it on social media. Many of my friends chimed in, not just to give me support, but to give me advice based on their own experience with weight loss. I was able to get a new perspective, learn what I did wrong and gain new ideas for losing weight.
Step 3: Make a Plan to Improve
Now that you have felt all the feelings and discovered what you did wrong, it’s time to get back on track. Don’t wait too long to put your new plan into action. Now that you have some momentum, use it to your advantage.
Here are some questions you need to ask yourself as you prepare a new plan of attack:
- Does your goal need adjusting?
- Do you need more time to accomplish your goal?
- What additional resources would help you?
- What would you change about your approach this time around?
- What or who can hold you accountable for your plan?
A final word of inspiration
You can do this! Don’t be anxious about trying again. Think about the courage it took for you to try to accomplish this goal the first time. Don’t let your setbacks hold you back!
I would love to hear how you are overcoming your setbacks and blasting through your goals like a boss! Drop me a line at tyese@strongmomsadmom.com to let me know how you have been inspired!
Virtually Yours, Koral Dawn 