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IS SELF-CONFIDENCE A SUPER POWER?-YASMEN AHMED

Hi! I’m Yasmen, a CBT Integrated Therapist & Clinical Hypnotherapist.

Everyone deserves emotional wellness, inner peace and light in their spirits. My purpose is to inspire you to rekindle your light within in a world that can often feel lonely, disconnected and dim. My mission is to widen your mind with gems of knowledge, feel accepted and inspired towards embracing and becoming your best self!

These tools are easily accessible through my online platform Inspire with Yas- a heart centered space filled with inspiration, positivity, self-love and drops of magic. Join the community and be inspired daily!

You can also follow me on Instagram or Facebook.

Is self-confidence a super power?

Quite simply, no.
Self- confidence is not a super power, it is something we can all have and achieve. Over the years, self-confidence has been perceived as a ‘gift’ that only a selected SPECIAL few have. We have been split into two groups. One group of individuals who are lucky enough to be born with this natural trait and the other group are the “unlucky” ones who did not get this trait.

But how have we got this wrong?

Let me first begin by asking you to do one little thing. I want you, just for a moment to remove this pre-conceived idea that self-confidence is some sort of innate personality trait or gift that only ‘special’ people are born with.

Confidence is a SKILL, just like any other skill. Learning to walk? That’s a skill. Learning to drive or play the drums? That’s a skill. Learning to bake amazingly delicious cakes? Heck, that’s a pretty good skill.

We go through life continually learning new skills in all areas of our lives. We get good at a skill by learning to master it. But when it comes to self-confidence we fail to put it under the same umbrella. Why do we think of it as an innate superpower? Are we born with knowledge of how to drive a car or how to tie our shoe laces? Or are we taught first then told to practice it?

Self-confidence is the same thing. But instead of being told to practice this skill, in society we have instead just assumed that it is something we must already have within and can’t be learnt. Which we know is untrue.

How do we become masters at it?

1. PRACTICE

When we want to get good at any form of skill, what are we told to do? PRACTICE! Just like building physical strength, we need to work on building our muscles of self-confidence by exercising them daily through different tasks.

The more you exercise and strengthen your self-confidence muscles, the easier it will get.

2. TAKE IT STEP BY STEP

You would not throw yourself right into the deep end of a swimming pool if you never learnt to swim right?

It is the small steps that make the biggest difference and shifts in our lives. Practice exercising

your self-confidence in smaller environments first. Do you want to master self-confidence when giving talks or speeches? Start with mastering the practice of speaking to yourself in the mirror first. Then move up to practicing in front of family and friends. Then when you feel comfortable, slowly excel to bigger audiences and keep growing.

The key here is not to rush and most importantly be kind to you. Give yourself credit for each small accomplishment you complete.

3. REMOVE THE LABELS

We are often given labels from a young age from our parents, friends, teachers and society. We take these labels as truths and allow them to limit us towards achieving our goals, hopes and dreams.

Let’s say as a child you were labeled as the ‘quiet and shy kid’ but your brother or sister was the ‘confident and talkative kid’. Without realizing, you will live your life never believing you could be anything more because you were not “blessed” with the gift of self-confidence like your brother or sister. You will keep yourself stuck, limited and remain within the barriers of your own mind.

Do not allow words or labels given to you, define who you are. They are not real. Give yourself permission to explore and become the person you want to be instead.

Lastly

It all starts with YOU. Self-confidence can be achieved by anyone, it is not a superpower only gifted to some. Nothing is stopping you but yourself. Don’t you think it is time to start stepping into your own power?

Striving Towards A Simple Life – Just a Bit Further

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Is it even possible?

Is it possible to live a simple life, given the velocity that life careens through the cosmos these days? A life that gives you room to breathe and ultimately to live life on your own terms. Not necessarily life as the result of ditching everything and living off-grid in a self-hewed cabin in the wilderness of northern Ontario, but a life regardless of where you are, that in all intense purposes is “simple.”

How many of us are desperately seeking this kind of quiet change? A major hurdle to overcoming this pilgrimage of living “simple” is the concept of “living simpler”. Sadly, this is pretty much polar opposite to the world as we know it.

This comes as no huge shock, but we live a crazy, and insanely busy time.

What defies logic is; although we bemoan and complain about how insane it all is, when we flip the coin over we find ourselves glorifying busy and all the insaneness.

We extoll with our friends and colleagues on how many hours we can work. All of which goes hand in hand with how little sleep we need to work all those hours. At the expense of friends, family and relationships in general, we glue our noses to computer screens or our smartphones, using each precious second we can find. We become addicted to the “likes” and “comments” hoping they will inject a level of validation into what can be a somewhat superficial and sad commentary of our affairs.

Like sitting around a poker table, we raise the stakes higher and higher. We take on more commitments. Our jobs demand more and more of us, to produce greater outputs, meaning longer hours and even more commitments. We are driven to do more and, yes, buy more. Many people abuse themselves with drugs and/or alcohol in an out of control attempt to get distracted from the insaneness until they are anesthetized into dreamland and stressed beyond human comprehension.

Okay, that might be a stretch for some, but it certainly is the reality for many. But, granted it is tough.

Many of us were raised in environments where achievements and the pursuit of wanting more is hard-wired into our DNA. So, there is never enough and there is always more to be had. We push more and more to get further ahead. To be better than last year, striving for a better and more prestigious title at work. And always lurking out there somewhere, like a northern pike circling the shallow water for his next meal, is the lure of more money. We believe “money” to be the answer to all our troubles and strife. Believing that more money will buy us the peace, happiness and a simpler life we have so longed for.

What might happen though, if we decided to take a bit of side-step?

To strategically work on leaving the craziness and insaneness behind, and to go for a life that was much simpler in its complexity?

Is it even possible?

Let’s make the assumption that it is. If so, what might a less simple existence even look like?

Again, I’m not suggesting or promoting heading off to a northern Ontario wood-lot deep in the boreal forests anywhere north of Manitouwadge and hand whacking a tiny cabin together with nothing more than an axe, grit and determination. Although, if that’s what you think it takes, more power to you!

Like I do, most of us live in the real world and we have real-world commitments. It is those commitments that require us to live in the real world. The reality we see each day when we open the front door.

How can we be in this world (the crazy and insanely hectic one), but move towards living simpler? How to get out of the “race” and to step away from the busyness, whether self-imposed or not. How can I/we slow things down, while fulfilling our purpose, doing great work and living a wonderful life?

Breathing

Creating and living a much simpler life is all about breathing.

Establishing space through cutting or scaling back gives you space to breathe.

Doing more and having more doesn’t lead to happiness and fulfillment. In fact, the opposite is true. It’s about finding joy in the simple things, and being content with solitude, quiet, contemplation and savoring the moment.

A few things to keep in mind though.

We Are Our Own Worst Enemy

All of the stress, the irritations, the dissatisfaction, and disappointments; all the craziness and rushing around; we created all of it. So, whether you like it or not, we are our own worst enemy. Every one of those things we created in our own minds. We made those decisions and we created these with attachments in our heads. By letting go, we can relax and live more simply.

Clutter and Complexity

Get rid of “stuff.”

When we can get rid of “stuff” and become less attached, a couple of things can happen. If you sell some of the “tangible stuff”, you’ll have a bit of cash in your hand and most significantly, getting rid of clutter can result in these benefits:

sense of confidence – I have only X amount of space, so I need to be bold with what goes and what stays

more energy – relates to the first point. Puts you in the get things done mode

reduces anxiety – most of us prefer order as compared to chaos. Decluttering creates order and order reduces anxiety

creates more time – not overwhelmed now with the time that WAS needed to clean and tidy. Creates time for other things or to do nothingWhen we can do something like getting rid of the clutter around us, our lives start to become simpler.

Social Media

Might as well blurt it out there – “social media is the scourge of today.” Okay, it might not be “the scourge of today,” but it rates right up there.

There is no getting around it, we are addicted to those little electronic devices. Our phone, Ipads, computers and all that they deliver – we can never get enough. We check our FB feeds to see how many likes did that post get. We upload a picture of our dinner on Instagram and then head over and update our life on Twitter. Each time we “just check for a second,” a wee tiny blast of dopamine let’s loose in our brains and we become more and more addicted.

For too many of us, it’s insanely hard to stop.

In search of making our lives simpler, cutting back on social media time is an excellent element in our quest. In checking to see who’s doing what and who said what, we waste time and energy. Sadly, we get stuck in a trap of comparing ourselves with “influencers” and others on social media, which over time can erode our confidence and takes away the power we have within us as individuals.

Less screen time equates to more breathing time and space.

A Few Simple Things

How many feel that their lives and activities need to be complex. In that, complex equates to better. Often, that includes a cycle of “more complex and better” as time moves along. Yesterday’s complex and better doesn’t cut it today.

Striving towards a life that is simpler means looking inside of us, deep inside of us to discover those simple joys and activities in life.

For me, those include writing/blogging, reading and discovering new things; as well as the outdoors; including hiking and walking. Most importantly, spending time with Lynn, while she captures all of this with her photography skills and passion.

When we downsized our home after our daughter left for college, we gave more stuff away than I can remember. And when I say downsize I mean downsize… to a 700 square foot two bedroom home.

When our lives become focused on the simple things you love doing, life suddenly becomes simpler.

Less clutter; less stuff; less worry.

“No” Is Not A Bad Word

Most of us are not very clear about what we want. How many of us see a post on social media of something really neat or exciting and we become obsessed about doing whatever that was. Next thing you know, we find ourselves heading in a new and totally different direction.

When someone invites us out, we instantly say, yes. Why? Because we’re “yes people” or “people pleasers.” We simply cannot say no.

Because we can never say no, our lives and schedules get stretched to the breaking point. There’s never enough time left for the things that are most important to us.

No is not a bad word.

What if we worked really hard on those things in our existence that held the most and dearest value to us? Saying, “yes” to those things and “no” to the other stuff. If we knew what we wanted to create and the direction we want our lives to head in, we could say yes to these things, and no to everything else.

Saying no to more things would simplify our lives. No is not a bad word!

Do Nothing – Practice It Until You Get REAL GOOD at it.

Have you ever just sat back and did nothing for a day? Just hung loose and did NOTHING. No need to feel that the day had been wasted if something had not been accomplished.

We all need idle time. Time built in to sit and watch the clouds drift by on a warm summer’s afternoon. A time that is free to do nothing.

Many people feel the need to have every waking moment filled with activities and the need to accomplish so much, each and every day. The reality is we need that “down time” to rejuvenate ourselves…..to meditate; to think; to reflect.

Why?

Having that time to do nothing and just “be you” helps to foster and create contentment with life.

Get In Alignment

When working towards achieving a simpler life, at some point along the way it will become clear to you which things in your life are no longer in alignment with your values.

Part of living more simply will help you identify those unnecessary aspects of your daily life. It might be less FB and social media time, or it might be areas in your life that need significant review and thought. This could be your job; friendships; where you live; belongings (getting rid of things) or anything else that just doesn’t line up with your simpler existence.

So, is it even possible?

Yes, it is possible and like much of life, it comes down to a decision. We are the only ones who can decide if we want our lives to be less hectic and more simple in existence.

It doesn’t mean packing up and living in a tiny cabin out in the hinterlands cut off from everything. It’s about making priorities; figuring out what we want our lives to look like and then acting on those things to accomplish it.

Something tells me that as time marches on, life will become more and more complex, with greater demands on our time. Perhaps now is your moment to re-evaluate where you are… where you’re headed. To start now and simplify your life to create something that gives you room to breathe and room to live!

To quote Yvon Chouinard, an early rock climbing pioneer and founder of the outdoor equipment and clothing company Patagonia and environmental activist.

Thanks for reading and stopping by.

How To: Be Resilient Against Your Chronic Society Anxiety – Ariette Hung

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About the Guest Author:

This article is written for The Unsanity Blog by Canadian blogger, Ariette Hung. She is currently working towards a Master’s Degree in Clinical Counseling. She cares deeply about mental health literacy, promoting resilience and growth, and instilling hope in others in times of adversity such as mental health struggles. When she isn’t studying, you can find her at her blog, ariettehung.com, where she blogs about saving money, side hustle ideas, entrepreneurship, and how to run a profitable blog.

Social links: Pinterest | Twitter | Instagram

According to the Anxiety & Depression Association of America (ADAA), the defining feature of social anxiety disorder, also called social phobia, is intense anxiety or fear of being judged, negatively evaluated, or rejected in a social or performance situation.

In today’s post, I will be outlining some clinical insight on managing, reversing, and becoming resilient to your socially anxious thoughts, behaviors, and tendencies.

Practice mindfulness meditation and practice breathing techniques.

When you’re anxious, you might feel physical changes in your body that make you feel pain or discomfort — it can manifest in shortness of breath, heart palpitations, sweaty palms, feverish feelings, tension, dizziness, nausea, or in the sensation of suffocation.

Managing your anxiety through meditation and breathing techniques can be very grounding and can assist you in adjusting misaligned and irrational thoughts to positive, and rational schemas. With proper therapeutic breathing techniques and meditation, you can soothe your nervous system and calm your heart rate.

My Calm-Down-Anxiety-Breathing Technique

Sit up straight and relax your shoulders.
Try to release any tension in your body.
Place your hand above your diaphram (belly) and your heart.
Breathe in slowly for four full seconds. Exhale slowly over 6 seconds.

Slowing your breathing can help you relax and regain your sense of equillibrium.

Resources to help: Headspace, Yoga with Adriene, The Mindful Kind podcast

Try exercises that reduce your anxiety.

Exercise is closely linked to mental health, because your mind feels better and more “awake” when your body is moving. This is because your body produces endorphins when you exercise, which gives your mood a boost, almost like a natural “high”.

Hate traditional working out or the idea of going to a gym? Try these: Swimming, dance class, yoga, rowing, hiking, going for a walk, running, spinning, biking, skiing, skating

If you incorporate physical exercise into your routine on a regular basis, you will feel much better!

Prepare accordingly for socially anxious situations.

Give yourself a pep talk and remind yourself that it’s going to be okay. If you know that large crowds overwhelm you, ask a buddy to stick by your side throughout the night.

Truth is, no one is going to pay as much attention to you as you think they will. And I know, your brain tells you otherwise and you feel panicked. Your feelings are valid.

But, your perception of reality might be warped. In order to assist you, have a friend “coach” you through socially difficult situations (whether it’s talking to your crush, talking to your professor, standing up to your parents, or asking for a raise at work), and if you see a counselor for your anxiety, I recommend working on your anxiety with him/her.

Implement self-compassion practices.

Journal about good days. Forgive yourself for bad days.

Challenge negative thoughts with the talk-back technique.

The purpose of this exercise is to identify the ugly, inner critic inside your head, and challenge those negative notions with a rational and positive voice.

Write down all the negative thoughts you have about yourself. Unleash your inner critic.

Your list can look like…

You can’t do anything right.
You are a failure.
You are never going to make it.

Now, think about it, are these facts really true? Embody the most rational voice you have (maybe impersonate the most practical, logical person you know) and talk back.

Your talk-back statements may look like…

You may not have succeeded at everything you’ve tried, but you’ve at least tried and you’re improving every time that you do it. That’s still a win.
You are not a failure. Failure is something that can happen to you but it is not something you are. So, you can fail, and maybe you have, but it doesn’t define you. If anything, again, it means that you tried and that deserves credit.
You may not be where you want to be right now, but you will be if you continue to work at it. After all, anyone who has ever “made it” in life has hustled for it.

Point is, the rational voice is right. It is not there to sugarcoat anything or baby you. But it is there to put things into proper perspective so you can see yourself and your problems with a realistic lens. Using this technique, you take control of your schemas.

To whoever is reading this article today,

I hope that this blog post and its suggestions are helpful to you.

I understand that anxiety looks different for everyone as we are all individual, unique people so please consult a professional consultant as needed. These are suggestions and practices that I have developed to aid me through my own anxiety over the years (it’s considerably managed), and have studied in school as an aspiring psychotherapist.

I may not know you and you may not know me, but know that I am rooting for you.

With love and light,

Ariette

Mental Health Mini Series: 4 Reasons Why You Should Start to Exercise – Stephanie Robbins

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Hello Friends!

I am so happy to be back doing a guest post series for Koral! Thank you so much for this chance.

I’m Stephanie from A Red Hair Girl. In January I wrote a post for Koral that gave you some background about my mental health issues. Then I went on to explain three ways I helped myself with my mental health.

First I admitted to myself I had a problem and that I needed help. Second I told a few people that I felt comfortable telling (my husband, my mom, sisters, and my OBGYN). And third I made the scary phone call to a therapist to get up an appointment. It is worth the read. I hope it will give you courage to seek out the help you need if you are struggling.

At the end of the post I mentioned I had a post about the things I have learned in therapy that have helped me. Welp, I had good intentions but I never got around to writing it… AHHH! I’m sorry!

I thought this mini-series would be the perfect chance for me to tell you about 4 things that I learned from my therapist. And tell you why they have helped me. I’m super excited!

So, let’s get right to it! This post is all about exercise! Here are 4 reasons why exercise is great for your mental health. I hope that by the time you are finished you are ready to get your sweat on.

Working Out Releases Our Feeling Good Endorphins

When we have our feeling good endorphins are flowing it just feels great. This is a natural way to get them going. So why wouldn’t we want to do that? My therapist always ask how my level of exercise. She doesn’t care how hard I’m going at it. She just wants me moving.

Even a walk around the block and kick start the good feeling endorphins. In fact if you exercise outside it can increase the amount of good feeling endorphins. That’s a double win! She tells me to get outside and talk a walk around the block sans kids if I’m feeling stressed, depressed or anxious. That isn’t always possible. But when I have, I come back refreshed.

Exercise Can Help Take Your Mind off Worries

When your brain has less to worry about your depression and anxiety will have less to feed it. When I’m working out it is harder for me to think about negative things. After a workout it is even hard to be negative. It’s all those good feeling endorphins. J

So if you exercise most days then you will have less time during those days to worry, which will help. Because the less you worry then the cycle of negative thoughts that help to feed your depression and anxiety will not be as present.

Exercise Can Help You Gain Confidence

What happens when you work out consistently? So many wonderful things! Among them is you will start to feel better about yourself. When you take the time to work out and do something that is hard you gain confidence.

You may start to lose weight or gain muscle. Your clothes may start to fit differently, a good different. People may start to give you complements. Or you may catch yourself in the mirror and think, WOW! All of these help you to gain confidence.

When you have more confidence you start to have a change in your thinking. For me, I become less depressed. Both of those things (being less depressed and gaining confidence) are very important to your mental health.

Working Out Can Help You Eat Better

If you are like me (and so many other people) then when you start to exercise consistently you may start to eat healthier. You may find yourself grabbing for an apple instead of crackers. The can of soda may not look as tasty as water.

When I am able to get myself out of bed and work out first thing in the morning I tend to make better eating choices all day long. Why wouldn’t I want to start my day off in that way?

Then when you start making better eating choices and continue to work out you will see a difference in your body. This will help you gain more confidence. See how many of these are intertwined? J

Some Tips and Tricks to Help You

You do not need to go out and join a gym or an online membership unless you want to.
There are plenty of free resources online or books you can check out from the library.
Walking is a great way to get started, get some good shoes to protect your feet and body.
Workout clothes are so much fun to have. They are pricey. I mostly use t-shirts and my husband’s old shorts. I have bought some workout clothes but they don’t fit very well, thank you baby #4. Haha! I reward myself by meeting exercise goals with workout clothes. J
Yoga is SOOOOO good for your body and mental health. One of my favorite yoga channels on You Tube is Yoga with Adriene. I just really love her, this is not sponsored. After I started to do yoga more consistently I noticed mood improvements. Woohoo!
Ask a friend to be your accountability partner or workout partner.
Self-promoting here… J Last fall I created a 3 month free workout program. Check it out and see if it is something you’d like.

Good luck my friends with exercising! It has helped me so much with my mental health and confidence. I know it can help you as well!

Happy working out!

Xoxo, Steph

You Can’t Stress – Sarah D’Anne

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lights

I’m Sarah D’Anne, a writer of books and blog posts. When I’m not working in the deli at my local convenient store, I’m at home with my six cats and my mother. Besides writing, I like to doodle, do photography, and daydream.

Blog: www.unexploredboundaries.wordpress.com

Twitter: www.twitter.com/sarahdanne

IG: www.instagram.com/highlyfaveured

Pinterest: www.pinterest.com/aceyroch

“You can’t stress.” These were the words my mother said to me after her encounter with bowel blockage, shingles, and a seizure. They came after her mother passed away. My mother carried a lot on herself, including anger and resentment.

The word “can’t” in this sentence doesn’t imply “not allowed.” It implies that I am “not able to.”

So, what is someone who is not able to stress, doing writing a post about mental health? Well, that’s the question of the day, isn’t it?

I’m here to tell you what it feels like to not be able to stress.

I bet you’re thinking, “It would be so wonderful to not be able to stress. I can actually go on with my life, not caring about anything. I can let things slide right off of me, and let things happen the way that they are supposed to.”

You know what? You’re right. That’s exactly how I feel.

Do you know how hard that is, though? Watching people struggle, stress, be anxious and depressed? It’s not easy.

“It’s so hard to make ends meet. I’m broke before I even get paid,” a coworker might say to me. I stand there, motionless, trying not to blurt out the thoughts that run through my head. “Well, stop spending fifty dollars a week to get your nails done,” I think. But I slowly nod, speak a soft, “Hm,” and walk away.

Does this mean that I can’t relate to people? No. I can, actually. Growing up with a mother who deals with depression and stress, has allowed me to understand what goes through peoples’ minds when they are in these mental states. My mother is very open about how she feels and what she’s thinking. She always has been, even now. So when those that are around me, express these thoughts and feelings, I am able to understand that they feel a certain way, but I am not able to relate with the feeling itself. Which may make me seem cold and unsympathetic. I can come off like that, of course. In fact, I hardly ever have sympathy for anyone. Empathy, sure, but rarely sympathy.

So, what’s my secret for a no stress life? Do I meditate? Exercise? Stay away from any and all stressful situations? The answer is simply, no. Instead of meditating, I close my eyes and take a deep breath and let it out in a long, loud, forceful sigh, so that everyone around me knows exactly how I feel. I do listen to music, but it’s not soft. At all. In fact, it’s mostly heavy rock. I also don’t exercise. I do quite a bit of physical labor at my job, but on my off days, my butt is in my chair.

Do I lack the stress gene 5HTR2C? Are my chemical levels constantly balanced? Do I have the long long genotype called 5-HTTLPR?

Let’s face it, no one really knows what genes they have, do they? In fact, stress can actually change your genes.

To be honest, I don’t know why I can’t stress. Maybe because I grew up watching a mother stress over everything, every day of my life. Maybe it’s because I don’t want to. Maybe it’s because I walk into every situation I am faced with, with this in mind: if I stress, I am of no help. I won’t have a clear mind to make the right decisions, or say the right things. If I stress, I can’t help. If I can’t help, what good am I?

At the end of the day, all I know is I don’t have a worry bone in my body. Do I get sad? Yes, at least I still get sad. Do I wonder about the future? Of course, who doesn’t? But I don’t necessarily worry about anything.

The beautiful part about this is, people still confide in me. People still tell me about their worries and fears and struggles. Even though I have a difficult time relating to the physical feelings, and the thoughts, I still listen and learn. I am self aware to the point that I am able to put aside my cold, unsympathetic aura, and replace it with an empathetic one.

For those of you who are prone to stress, depression, anxiety, and others, please be patient with us non-worrying types. If we could worry about how we come off to people, we would. And please don’t think that if someone doesn’t worry, that they don’t understand. Because I do.

My mother almost died because of stress. She had a seizure because of stress. Every time she feels under the weather, she gets depressed. She was very angry when I was little and would cry to me almost every night and tell me how she was feeling. They say that one out of three people will get shingles in their lifetime. Mom has had it more than once. Mom had to have open heart surgery because, when she got so sick from stress that she weighed ninety pounds, her heart grew weak and she developed a prolapsed heart valve.

To those of you who endure the pain, I see you. I feel you. I will cry with you. I don’t care if I don’t understand what you’re feeling, but what you feel is real. That’s what I understand, and to me, that’s all that matters.

Your feelings matter.

YOU MATTER.

It’s Time to Stop Punishing Yourself with Food – Nourish With Renata

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Hello Unsanity readers, as promised, here is another guest blogger for your Friday! This one comes from a fellow blogger of mine, Renata, who specializes in healthy easy recipes!

Hi! I’m Renata and I am the founder of NourishwithRenata.com, a healthy recipe blog focusing on delicious, easy recipes that not only taste good but are good for you! I am a mom, wife and foodie, living in Texas with my husband, 3 kids and trusty labrador. I love helping people rediscover healthy food through the recipes on my blog and e-books, as well as my personalized cooking classes.

It’s the beginning of a new year and lots of people are making New Year’s resolutions. These resolutions might be about making healthier lifestyle choices, like working out or eating healthy.

But what does it mean to eat healthy? Does it mean doing juice cleanses? Does it mean only eating one meal a day? Does it mean not eating carbs???

What some people don’t realize is that these kinds of restrictive diets are not sustainable long term. Depriving and restricting your body is actually punishing your body. It is not allowing your body the fuel and nourishment that it needs to not only survive, but to thrive. And that means that your body will try to find a way to get back the calories you were depriving it. This is why so many people gain back the weight that they were trying to lose, and then some.

This begins the cycle of purging and binging, or what I call, the diet culture. It is a completely destructive way of treating your body and it forces you to look at food in a harsh, negative light. Foods are either “bad” or “good”. And more often than not, you feel guilty for giving your body the nourishment that it needs.

Diet culture is a slippery slope. I think that is why so many people start having eating disorders. We are programmed by social media to think that we have to look and eat like everybody else. That a “quick fix” is the only way to change, that immediate gratification is the only way to get recognition. That in order to be “liked”, we have to be the same as everyone else.

THIS SIMPLY ISN’T TRUE. It’s time to change our mindset. It’s time to stop trying to be like everyone else, and start being our truest selves. It’s time to bring a whole new perspective to how we think about ourselves and how we think about food.

Instead of punishing your body, start building a positive relationship with food. Food is a fuel source, a way to nourish your cells, brain and muscles with the nutrients and energy that it needs to support you during the day. By giving it the foods that provides you with maximum energy and vitality, you are ensuring that you can achieve your to-do list, you can work out without feeling drained, and best of all, you can spend time with your loved ones without feeling bloated, lethargic or a slave to food.

So how can you stop punishing yourself with food? Here’s a few tips:

Pay attention to how you feel after you eat: If it helps, make a food diary, so you can record how foods are making you feel. Focus more on eating the foods that help you feel energized for longer, and less time eating the foods that make you feel tired and sluggish. Food affect people differently, so your list of energizing foods may be different from someone else’s.
Don’t worry about fads: There are so many diets out there from keto, paleo, whole 30, vegan… the list goes on. Your friends may be doing some of these diets, and if so, let them! You don’t have to join in. Scientific studies have shown that the best diet for weight loss is one that is sustainable. So don’t worry about fads. Fads are a one-off that may help you lose weight quickly, but are not sustainable. Stay strong against peer pressure and focus on nourishing your body with whole foods that taste good and are good for you.
Building a healthy, positive relationship with food takes time: This is real life. There will be times when you will go out to lunch with friends or go to big family gatherings that have a buffet of foods that you don’t normally eat. It is ok to eat different foods! It is ok to eat richer, more indulgent foods sometimes. It may make you feel less energetic than normal, but it’s ok. Building a healthier, positive relationship with food means that you don’t ever have to feel guilty for having dessert.

Changing your perspective on food can have incredible repercussions on other aspects of your life. Once you see the positive change from how you think about food, you will feel energized and motivated to accomplish other goals in your life. But best of all, you will gain back your self-confidence. Your relationship with food is in your control. And it’s time to make it a positive one.

You can connect with Renata on the following platforms:

Nourish with Renata blog at www.nourishwithrenata.com

Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/nourish_with_renata

Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/Nourish-with-Renata-2030856650493733/

Twitter at https://twitter.com/NourishwRenata

Favorite Fall Autumn Dishes – AdelineOnlineLife

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Good afternoon bloggers and welcome to another Monday post with another guest. Adeline is a new friend of mine, and has an awesome blog that can be found here. If Instagram is your thing, you can also find her there at Adeline.A.Williams.

Reading everyone’s stories and advice tips for depression/anxiety and life stress so far has been a real eye opening experience for me. Learning more and more how to help others on MY end, has been amazing and I hope to continue learning more of your stories to share with the world. I thank each and every one of you for opening up to me and trusting me with whatever you are presenting.

Hello everyone!

I am Adeline, I am 24.

On my very first day of high school, I made it a few steps out our front door and turned around with tears in my eyes from the anxiety. At that time I didn’t know truly what was happening to me, why the thought of being in a sea of people frightened me. I was diagnosed with anxiety at 14. My heart does not take loss lightly, and in my second year of high school I lost my grandmother. I fell into a depression that continues to bubble to this day with the loss of both of my mother’s parents, my father, and his father.

Since those dark days I have learned to cope. Learned to focus on other parts of my life, like my pets, my blog, my boyfriend or my cooking.

Here are a few of my favorite recipes I make for fall/autumn.

Stuffed Bell Peppers

Simple and easy to make recipe, super filling. Perfect on it’s own, or served with roasted vegetables.

1 lbs Ground Turkey
1 lbs Ground Sweet Italian Sausage
2 – 24 oz bottles of Francesco Rinaldi Tomato Garlic Onion Pasta Sauce
1 1/2 tsp Ground Oregano
1 tsp Tarragon
1/2 tsp Ground Cardamon
4 cloves of Garlic, crushed
1 medium Onion, finely minced
1/2 tsp Salt & Pepper
1 cup of Rice, whichever you prefer. (I used long grain jasmine rice)
4 large sized Bell Peppers, cored and rinsed
2 metal bread pans

In a 2 to 3 quart sauce pan add the garlic, onion, and your preferred cooking oil to medium low heat. Stir occasionally to keep from burning. Cook till onion is soft and aromatic (around 5 minutes or so). Then add oregano, tarragon, cardamon, salt, pepper and pasta sauce to the pan and bring to a medium heat. Stir continuously to keep ingredient from burn/sticking to the bottom of the pan. Cook for 7 minute or till sauce mixture is hot.

While sauce mixture is cooking. In a separate pan or rice cooker, add rice and 2 cups of water. Cook rice per the instructions on the packaging. Once sauce mixture and rice is done set aside. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (or 190 degrees C).

In a skillet add sweet Italian sausage, ground turkey, and 1 1/2 cup of sauce mixture, mix together either with your hands (using cooking gloves) or with a spatula. Once mixed together, bring to medium high heat. Stir occasionally to keep from burning. Cook for 12 minutes, drain any excess oil. Once done, in metal bread pans add meat to bottom of pan (to keep peppers sitting up). Stuff each pepper with meat, leaving a small gap at the top for sauce. Once all pepper are stuffed and in pans take any leftover meat and distribute between the two pans. Then take sauce mixture and cover peppers and meat liberally with sauce mixture. Cover with aluminum foil. Put in preheated oven and cook for 25 to 35 minutes till peppers are cooked and meat is at food safe temperature 165 degrees F (or 70 degrees C).

Lemongrass Chicken with Rice

This is such a yummy dish, you can substitute the rice with whatever grain you prefer.

4 Skinless Boneless Chicken thighs
3 tbsp Ground Lemongrass
4 cloves of Garlic, crushed
2 tbsp low sodium Soy Sauce
1 Lime or small Lemon, juiced
3 tbsp honey or agave
1 cup of Rice
1/2 tsp Salt & Pepper

In a large bowl add lemongrass, garlic, soy sauce, lime/lemon juice, honey/agave salt and pepper mix together with fork or whisk. Once mixed together add chicken thighs and stir till all pieces are covered. Cover and marinate in refrigerator for 1 hour or over night.

Heat a large oiled skillet at medium high heat, add marinated chicken, save marinate for later. Cook chicken for 30 minutes, till chicken is at food safe temperature 165 degrees F (or 70 degrees C). Turn chicken over occasionally while cooking to keep from burning. Add marinade to pan and cook for 2 to 3 minutes while stirring chicken to keep from burning.

In a separate pan or rice cooker, add rice and 2 cups of water. Cook rice per the instructions on the packaging. Serve chicken while warm with rice.

Turon – Fried Banana Lumpia

These are a household favorite, they never last the day. Serve it with a side of ice cream for extra yummy goodness!

5 Bananas or 4 large Plantains
1 can of Jackfruit, drained
1 to 2 cups Brown Sugar
2 packages of Nasayo Egg Roll Wraps
Vegetable oil
1 cup of Water

Cover plate with brown sugar, set aside. Peel bananas/plantains, cut in half lengthwise (or thirds if using plantains.) Cut drained jackfruit into strips.

Roll banana/plantain slice in brown sugar, covering completely. Place banana/plantain slice onto wrapper corner closest to you. Add strip of jackfruit along the length of the banana. Fold both sides (left and right) of the wrapper inward towards the banana. Now roll it towards the other end away from you. Use water to seal the edge.

Heat vegetable oil in frying pan or deep fryer (do not use an air fryer) to medium low heat. Place a few piece of wrapped bananas/plantains in frying pan or deep fryer. Cook for 3 to 5 minutes till golden brown. Place on plate or cookie sheet once cooked. Do not use paper towel to drain, these get super sticky. Serve while warm.

I hope you enjoy these recipes, let us know which were your favorite!

Procrastination

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I don’t know why it is, but I usually wind up writing my blogs while taking a bath and relaxing. That’s kind of my “me” time I guess to recharge and chill out. A little piece of me is really bummed I procrastinated as much as I did this weekend. There was so much I wanted to do, but just didn’t get to. I want so much to do some of our maps, and get the cameras uploaded and Etsy store converted over to what Jamison and I really want to do. (More him than me, but it’s a joint effort really.) But it’s a slow process since we have so much going on right now. Hoping this week on like Tuesday while I’m off for my Dr. we can work on some stuff at home together like those things. I want to finally come up with a name for us to use, so I can design something and get the Etsy converted.

I at least finished the one flower crown I needed to do before this weekend, and I’m so happy about it. I hope it makes it and stays in one piece for as long as I need it to.. I’ll have to spray it and keep the green floral tape in place… It came out better than I thought it would to be honest! After this weekend I’ll write a little blog post about it and share photos. (But not until then.)

Below is a mock up of an Etsy banner to use for our Etsy once the project gets going. We’re going to be selling vintage maps and map pages from Atlases. Would anyone be interested in that? I think so. I’m hoping the amount of vintage people out there would hit us up for them since we have a lot of good Atlases to choose from. Some USA, some World. My personal favorite is from 1918, and the pages are tattered and so vintage looking it’s amazing. I can’t wait to de-spine that one and get into it/cut out the pages. Hoping we can do that soon, if not this week then next and start getting these posts up. But first, of course, we need a name. Not saying this will be the name we choose, but I really like it. Makes it feel vintage and captures what we’re selling and the Etsy be about. Did I mention Jamison has cameras to sell too? We’ll have a few vintage (working) cameras on the site as well, if we’re able to. I know it’s not “handmade” but we want everything to be in one place.

What do you think about the mock up banner? Made it with Canva this time, instead of Adobe Spark. I have to use Canva for work, so I’m trying to get myself familiar with the program because I’ve been using Spark for so long. (It’s really the same thing… but I do like that Canva has more text options than Spark. And even though I’m part of the Spark Insiders Club and VIP for beta testing… I still think Spark needs some work to be where Canva is and it’s simplicity. Especially with the fonts, there needs to be WAY more choices with Spark for them to be able to move forward. Those are just my two cents.)

xoxoxo

Koral Dawn

To Start Is Not To Begin

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Friday nights are usually spent in bed now with my iPad or now laptop working and reading. I’m perfectly okay with this. My Friday nights used to be going out and having fun or going to a bar with a friend or two. I’m glad, as I get older, that it’s died down a little bit. With so much life going on right now, this is what it needs to be.

I actually… after all these years of crap jobs… enjoy my current job. I like what I do and I like where it’s going. The people I’m meeting and the things I’m doing are all I could ever dream of. I legitimately love the things I do for work now, and that makes me happy.

Cut back two months ago, maybe a little bit more, and I was interviewing for this position I currently have — nervous as anything that I wasn’t going to get it, and nervous as anything that I would get it. I was kept waiting and waiting and almost a month went by. I started to get really apprehensive about everything knowing this is what I wanted and also… not what I wanted. I was terrified. If I got the position, I was going to have to move across the country — 2700 miles away from home. If I didn’t get it, I was going to be really upset that I wasn’t getting out of PA just yet.

July 28th. It was that Friday at 9 in the morning that I got that email from the hiring manager who said in the title “Please give me a call ASAP!!” Right there, with that title, I knew it was something great. I started crying almost as I walked away from my desk to go call her from my car and cell phone. I was offered the position; at nearly triple my salary. My managers at my current project already knew and kept it from me for a day. They had made arrangements for me to start that Tuesday with the company and new pay period — and I was already headed down to Virginia and DC that same week to do on boarding for the company and meet with the primary. I was a nervous wreck.

I was now the Social Media Marketing Specialist for the National Center for Telehealth and Tech (T2) project based out in Tacoma, Washington. I was an art director, content writer, image creator, blogger and head honcho for my social media content on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and LinkedIn.

With the position comes relocation, and the start of a new life with my partner and best friend. We’ve always wanted to go to the mountains — and away we go. I’m so excited to start my life out there. Even though I will be far from home, I know I’ll still get to see my mom and important people in my life with them coming out there, or with me going back to PA and NJ where my family and friends are. There’s so much excitement, however, I’m still scared to death. I’m not freaking out yet… but I know it’s coming one of these days. With being that far from my friends and family; it’s going to take some time getting used to. Yes, I’ll have my best friend with me and of course we will meet new people out there together. But it won’t be the same comfort we’re used to at first.

It’s September 15th today. September 16th if you want to get technical because it’s just passed midnight already. And we only have 70 days. 70 days until we make that drive across the country. 70 days until I don’t see my little kitties for close to 6 months. 70 days until we start our new life.

Everything will all work out fine, I’m sure of it.

A Collection of Art

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Good morning, and happy Hump Day. I’d like to showcase my Adobe Spark edits in one location and I thought what better way to do it than on my blog that I haven’t written on in a long time. Has WordPress died? It doesn’t seem to be talked of or used much anymore for some reason. Hmm.

Well, these are in no particular order really I just wanted a place to showcase them all at once since they’re mostly on Instagram at the moment.