Tag Archives: hero

I’m Fine – How Often Do We Mean It? – Ami Ireland

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This next guest spot is from a dear friend of mine I had the pleasure of meeting online this year and working with. In continuing to work with her, I got to know her more and more each day, learning about her disability and what life likes for her. If you havent read any of her blog yet, please head over to Undercover Superhero and take a look around. I promise you’ll find something that intrigues you. 

The phrase “I’m fine” is one of the most popular answers to respond with when asked about how we are feeling. But do we actually mean it? If no, then why do we use the phrase as a default response?

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A recent poll I conducted on Twitter shows that out of 108 people, who took part in the poll, 52% of them use the phrase and mean it between 0% to 25% of the time. There are so many reasons as to why that is:

It’s Easier To Hide How We Really Feel

I’m sure that many of you will agree that we often feel like a burden when we open up and feel anxious about the other person thinking or saying “What have you got to be down about?”, “Things could be worse” or something similar. There is still so much stigma around mental health which also causes us not to express how we are truly feeling. The lack of understanding and empathy towards one another is something that I, personally, think that is the main issue with regards to replying with “I’m fine” as there are some people who just do not or choose to not understand mental health.

Convenience

“I’m fine” is definitely a lot easier and quicker to say rather then going into detail about how we actually feel. Then again, this can coincide with the fear of how others react to when we open up. Also, it could just be convenient to say if you were to quickly acknowledge a passer-by in the street or something.

Repetition

If like me, you have a variety of conditions, it can get pretty exhausting repeating ourselves to different people. As a result, this is where convenience ties in making the phrase an easier and quicker response.

Fear

The fear of causing others around us to worry. It could possibly be due to the fear of finding out who our true friends are and how supportive they are.

27% Of People Use The Phrase and Mean It Between 25% > 50% Of The Time & 19% Of People Mean It Between 50% > 75% Of The Time

This is interesting. As you can see, the less of the amount of people who use the phrase, the more of the chance they actually mean it. Personally, I think this is because people are in the process of realising who understands mental health and those that choose to ignore it.

Is It A Test Or Cry For Help?

Do we reply with “I’m fine” to test others? This could explain the process of finding out who truly care about how we feel. On the other hand, it could be a cry for help, which will also let us find out who care enough to be supportive.

3% Of People Use The Phrase and Mean It Between 75% > 100% Of The Time

I’ve been thinking long and hard about why only 3% mean it between 75% and 100% of the time. Here are my thoughts:

Trust

The person has surrounded themselves with those who are supportive and understanding which enables them to open up rather than just saying “I’m fine”.

Honesty

I think the person is comfortable with being honest, regardless of the situation or outcome, therefore they are completely honest with each person they come across. Or the person does actually feel fine.

Do you use the phrase as an automatic reply? Or do you truly mean it?

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Author bio: Ami is a disability Blogger who writes about her recovery and talks openly about living with multiple disabilities. Her blog, UndercoverSuperhero is a place where she attempts to look at life more positively. Ami has a passion for volunteering and a strong love for superheroes. She aims to raise awareness of disabilities, illnesses, mental health illnesses, etc and has an ongoing series called “The Reality of…” which enables fellow bloggers and readers to raise awareness of the conditions they live with. You can find her on Twitter and Facebook.

Hello

Hello,
It’s been awhile, hasn’t it? Welcome back to the world. It seems you’ve been missing for some time now and it just isn’t the same without you. Since you’ve left, there’s been numerous disasters including nuclear invasion and wars across the nation that could have used your help. But you were too busy, weren’t you? Too busy floating out there in space to give a care about your home. Too busy doing who knows with whoever will give you the time of day. Do you think it’s easy to save a planet without its hero? Do you think it’s easy – day to day life knowing that there is no one there to rescue you if something goes wrong? 

We constantly live in fear because our world’s hero has gone missing.

But it’s okay – you’re back now, right? You’re here to stay? I should hope you would be. 1300 years gone with no one to care about us and all of a sudden the prodigal child of the Gods has returned without any notion of where he went and what he did this whole time? Please tell me how that makes sense. Tell me that you’ve been caught up in another world caring for their people and not just running away and hiding from everyone and everything. Tell me that you ran into some issues and had to defeat the monster that is the government on another planet and straighten them out before returning to us. Tell me that everything was okay for you and that you never did forget about us. We’ve missed the hero of our world. Was there another world so much better than ours that you decided to leave and not help us?

This nuclear fusion needs you. We need you. We can’t win this one without you anymore. We are burning and drowning at the same time. We tried calling out for help, but for 700 years with no such luck and our hero gone, we had no choice but to give up all hope and try to trust in each other. We are at war because we trusted in ourselves as a nation. 

Was this a lesson? 

Was this your way of telling your people that we need to be sufficient in our own actions and that you can’t – and won’t – be there all the time to help us? If this was a lesson or a test, well played. But now your people are dying. More than half of your world is gone, and you have the audacity to return and show no remorse? 

What ails our hero? 

What happened out there?

 

Summertime Sadness

“You know that he doesn’t love you, right? He does not love you. He does not think about your eyes before bed. And he does not pick up the phone in attempt to dial your number. He doesn’t dream about your hands in his hair or the way your cheek grazes his. He doesn’t care about your mother and he never will. He doesn’t want to learn from you and he certainly doesn’t want to teach you. He will play with you as he has and he will use you for his pleasure. He will use your body and your advice, he will use your humor when he is lonely, he will use your essence as a crutch. He will never love you. He will not respect you. He will never be sorry for what he has done or what you’ve experienced. He will never strive to be like you and he will never be your hero. His voice will always tower over yours. He will always have the last word. He will never care about your needs, no matter how big or small. He will always blame you. So remember when you’re broken, remember when you’re tired and shattered all around the room, that he does not love you and if he did he would be walking through that door to pick up the shards of your heart, bloody fingers and all.”

It’s Monday morning, and I’m sitting here applying to jobs and oddly enough, came across this quote and it totally makes sense to me. I think a lot of people should read this and listen to what it’s saying, it might just change your life. It didn’t for me, however, but for some of you out there struggling with something like this, take note of these words.

I know a few people going through something like this right now and it breaks my heart sometimes to hear all the shitty boys out there that keep doing this to females. Liars, cheaters, boys that play with emotions. I mean hell, just going on Facebook I see a lot of this and I’m about to go and just delete people because I don’t need anymore of this crap in my life with everything that’s going on with myself.

Why can’t everyone be truthful to who they really are and stop the lying and telling people what they want to hear? Maybe someday society will learn, but that day is not today. There are always going to be liars and humans like this – it’s who we are as a human race. And it’s best to stay away from these types of people if you can help it.

Always

Cheers,

xoxox

||Koral Dawn||