Tag Archives: honest

I’m Fine – How Often Do We Mean It? – Ami Ireland

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This next guest spot is from a dear friend of mine I had the pleasure of meeting online this year and working with. In continuing to work with her, I got to know her more and more each day, learning about her disability and what life likes for her. If you havent read any of her blog yet, please head over to Undercover Superhero and take a look around. I promise you’ll find something that intrigues you. 

The phrase “I’m fine” is one of the most popular answers to respond with when asked about how we are feeling. But do we actually mean it? If no, then why do we use the phrase as a default response?

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A recent poll I conducted on Twitter shows that out of 108 people, who took part in the poll, 52% of them use the phrase and mean it between 0% to 25% of the time. There are so many reasons as to why that is:

It’s Easier To Hide How We Really Feel

I’m sure that many of you will agree that we often feel like a burden when we open up and feel anxious about the other person thinking or saying “What have you got to be down about?”, “Things could be worse” or something similar. There is still so much stigma around mental health which also causes us not to express how we are truly feeling. The lack of understanding and empathy towards one another is something that I, personally, think that is the main issue with regards to replying with “I’m fine” as there are some people who just do not or choose to not understand mental health.

Convenience

“I’m fine” is definitely a lot easier and quicker to say rather then going into detail about how we actually feel. Then again, this can coincide with the fear of how others react to when we open up. Also, it could just be convenient to say if you were to quickly acknowledge a passer-by in the street or something.

Repetition

If like me, you have a variety of conditions, it can get pretty exhausting repeating ourselves to different people. As a result, this is where convenience ties in making the phrase an easier and quicker response.

Fear

The fear of causing others around us to worry. It could possibly be due to the fear of finding out who our true friends are and how supportive they are.

27% Of People Use The Phrase and Mean It Between 25% > 50% Of The Time & 19% Of People Mean It Between 50% > 75% Of The Time

This is interesting. As you can see, the less of the amount of people who use the phrase, the more of the chance they actually mean it. Personally, I think this is because people are in the process of realising who understands mental health and those that choose to ignore it.

Is It A Test Or Cry For Help?

Do we reply with “I’m fine” to test others? This could explain the process of finding out who truly care about how we feel. On the other hand, it could be a cry for help, which will also let us find out who care enough to be supportive.

3% Of People Use The Phrase and Mean It Between 75% > 100% Of The Time

I’ve been thinking long and hard about why only 3% mean it between 75% and 100% of the time. Here are my thoughts:

Trust

The person has surrounded themselves with those who are supportive and understanding which enables them to open up rather than just saying “I’m fine”.

Honesty

I think the person is comfortable with being honest, regardless of the situation or outcome, therefore they are completely honest with each person they come across. Or the person does actually feel fine.

Do you use the phrase as an automatic reply? Or do you truly mean it?

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Author bio: Ami is a disability Blogger who writes about her recovery and talks openly about living with multiple disabilities. Her blog, UndercoverSuperhero is a place where she attempts to look at life more positively. Ami has a passion for volunteering and a strong love for superheroes. She aims to raise awareness of disabilities, illnesses, mental health illnesses, etc and has an ongoing series called “The Reality of…” which enables fellow bloggers and readers to raise awareness of the conditions they live with. You can find her on Twitter and Facebook.

Tell Me Truthfully

Dear friends, followers, and anyone reading this;  

What would you change differently about it? What would you have said different? Is there something I’m missing? I would like to say goodbye to someone, before i leave from the area I am in, but I don’t know how to word things just right. I’m really put at a crossroads at this point. While I have let my personal emotions go, there’s still a part of me that will miss the friendship and extent of talking about this person. And I’m not sure how to say goodbye. I’ve tried undoubtedly hard to let everything go; and I have, honestly. This person made me who I am today, and I feel like a goodbye would be in order.. I don’t like to leave things open ended with anyone and closure and goodbyes are the way to do that. When once a major part of someone’s life, I feel that a proper goodbye is the way to let things go; it doesn’t matter who you are, or who you’ve become or what you’ll be down the line. Everyone is entitled to a goodbye.

If you received a message like this – honest and true – would you respond to it?

Hello.

You crossed my mind today. These last two weeks have really put into perspective for me how my life will be come October. I’ve had so many great things happen for me in such a short time and Im starting to feel alot happier with things, with someone by my side who accepts me for my past and how I am. 

I’m sorry to have upset you, or whatever it was I did at any given time. I was still bitter. And I accept your apology as well, even though I never received one. But we had a great friendship, before everything, and it was ruined. 

I am leaving PA for certain in October. And I would really like to have the chance to say goodbye; or something of the like with my last 4 months here. If not, I understand. Sometimes goodbyes are forever.

And I accept that.

Who Cares Where It Comes From

I haven’t written a lot on here lately, and for that I’m sorry. There are a lot of updates I’d like to post so bear with me for a moment.

First off, I got a new job working in a Law Office up in Scranton, which I have to say is interesting and also a nice change from what I’ve been known to do. I think it’s definitely a step in the right direction, but I hope it’s going to last as long as I need it to. So far, so good. And it’s all thanks to someone awesome for getting me the job.

Secondly, I’ve been taking a few pictures here and there trying to get used to the iPhone camera and how different it is then an Android phone that I’ve always had. I didn’t like it at first, and I’m not ashamed to say that actually. I’ll make another photo post separate form this to show off some of what I’ve done and in case you are interested.

Next, I had to get a new Mac, since mine decided to take a shit a couple months ago and I lost a good deal of stuff that was on there from college and recent photo things I’ve worked on. Makes me so mad – I thought those things would last forever to be honest, I guess 8 years is long enough for a laptop to last.

I don’t really have too much else to say to be honest – so I’m going to leave you with something I found online when I was browsing the interwebs.


 

At heart, though, I am still the sweet girl looking for a man who will keep me safe. I don’t need you to take care of me, provide for me, fight my battles for me — any of that. But I do want you to want to do those things, while respecting me enough to know I can do them for myself. Honestly, I would prefer we each do them for each other.

I know who I am now, and I don’t need anyone to validate that for me. But I am also scared that who I am and the challenges I do face will send you running for the hills. My life is not easy and my situation gets complicated. It can be A LOT. Of everything.

As cliched as it sounds though, I am not my situation. Everyone has their own. Please don’t judge mine. Please learn about it. Ask me questions and let me answer before you come to conclusions. Let me be sweet to you and have fun with you. Let me cry freely and break down in your arms when I need to, trusting me enough to know that I am a bad-ass bitch and I’ve got this. I have plenty of crumpled on the floor moments, but I will get up and re-adjust my armor with or without you.

I would just much prefer you let me know I am safe enough to take it all off when you’re around. 

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