Tag Archives: joy

Be Present – Dawn Marie Beauchamp

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Be Present – It is the Greatest Gift this Holiday Season

The holiday season is full of glitz, glamor, and excitement. Around every corner are messages on how to make this holiday season bigger and better than the last. The drive to make things magical becomes exhausting and overwhelming. As a wife and mother of three, I look forward to the holidays and at the same time wait for the anxiety to take over and fill my waking moments with overwhelm and fear of disaster. Does this sound familiar? For the 2019 holiday season, let’s try a new approach. Instead of trying to be perfect this holiday season, let’s instead be present. How do we define present this holiday season?

Exchange “Perfection” for “Joy”

Do you search through Pinterest and walk down aisles at Home Depot in search of the perfect decorations? Do you once again land on Pinterest and your friendly Google search bar looking for the perfect holiday recipes? Perfection can be overwhelming. Perfection is an unattainable goal. Somewhere between perfection and disaster is real life.

Step back from the curated world of social media and decide what makes you happy. If, like me, you love to cook and searching out the perfect recipe gives you joy, then by all means do it. If the opposite is true and cooking gives you anxiety and feels like work, then find somewhere to cater your holiday meal or hand the meal planning over to another family member. Focus on what gives you joy this holiday season.

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Focus on People instead of Gifts

I love buying gifts. Spoiling my children is super simple. Walking through any store, I can fill my cart to the brim with toys, games, clothes, and gizmos that I know will bring my children joy. I noticed over the past several holiday seasons that my children start to become overwhelmed by all the gifts. The youngest ones especially are ready to play after opening one box and even become frustrated that I am stopping their play to open more gifts.

It is time for this momma to step back and focus on my sweet children instead of an overpowering list of must-have gifts. A friend of mine introduced me to the following formula:

Something they Want+Something they Need+ Something to Wear+Something to Read=Done Shopping

My goal for the 2019 holiday season is to stick to this formula and choose things that my children will love. The focus will be quality over quantity. Quality is more likely to spark joy and joy is our goal.

Be in the Moment More and Documenting Less

My cousin once told me, “If it is not posted on social media somewhere, it didn’t actually happen.” I believe it is easy to become so involved in sharing memories you are not truly making memories. Everything has its time and place and finding a balance is important. Step back from the camera for a minute and just be in the moment. See the smiles and hear the laughter through your own eyes and ears and not the screen of your cell phone.

By letting go of perfection, it is possible to find true joy. Taking time to seek out quality gifts over massive quantity will spark joy without chaos. Fully focusing on the moment with all of the senses instead of the curated lens of a camera will bring joy. Exchanging anxiety for joy allows one to be truly present in the moment. As the holiday season unfolds, your presence is a far greater gift to your family and friends than any gift, meal, or perfectly coordinated holiday display. Choose Joy, be Present, and Enjoy the holiday season with the ones you Love. Happy Holidays!

Blog PhotoAbout the Author: Dawn Marie Beauchamp is a wife and mother of three residing in the great state of Michigan. She and her husband own a small electrical company, where Dawn runs the office and her husband is the electrical master mind. In her spare time, she enjoys being outdoors and spends a lot of time enjoying the woods of Northern Michigan. Dawn also enjoys, cooking, writing, and all things DIY. She writes about her adventures at Controlled Chaos – Embrace the Adventure of the Everyday. (www.embracecontrolledchaos.com). You can also find Dawn on the following social platforms: Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest

Finding Peace This Holiday Season – Michelle Smith

Today’s guest blogger on The Unsanity is a new friend of mine who has personally helped with my stress and anxiety at the House of Care in rural central PA at the hospital we both work at. Michelle is a very wise individual, promoting balance and reminding everyone in her life to take care of YOU. You are number one, and you need to find your inner peace this holiday season.

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When I was a child, I did not understand why adults found the holiday season to be stressful. It was great. There were parties. There were family gatherings with presents. And the food was so yummy. There were trees to decorate, cookies to make, and maybe even some snow to play in. What in the world was stressful about these things?

Now that I am an adult and “life” has happened, I totally get it. When I was in my early twenties, my father died suddenly from a massive heart attack during the Christmas season. Each year, Christmas is a yearly reminder of my father’s physical absence. And, all those things that were so magical and enchanting as a child are now tasks to conquer on my list. Looking at that list can create stress and anxiety that can be difficult to manage.

Over the past decade of cultivating a yoga practice, I have come to realize that my practice is the doorway to finding peace during the holiday season and all year long. Yoga equips me with tools that help me find my true, higher, peaceful self. Yoga is so much more than a physical practice done in a studio. Yoga equips me with a set of tools that have a positive effect on my being.

Poses or the position we put are body in has an energetic effect. Through self-awareness, it is important to recognize when we are anxious and stressed. Responding appropriately during those first moments of realization is crucial to finding internal peace quickly. The longer we are stressed and anxious, the more time it may take to return to center and peace. Face-down positions have a grounding effect and are great for balancing anxiety and stress. You can simply turn your palms face down. If practiced over time, the subtle practice of turning your palms face down may yield large returns of internal peace. Or, you can lie on the floor or your bed face down for several moments and see if you feel a subtle grounding sensation.

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The breath is central to the yoga practice because it interfaces directly with the nervous system. There are simple breathing practices that we can employ to upregulate the parasympathetic nervous system, the part of the nervous system responsible for helping us rest and restore. We can be in a truly crazy environment and through some simple breathing practices stay relaxed. One easy thing you can do is lengthen your exhale. A basic practice for lengthening your exhale is to take a breath and count the length of your inhale and exhale. Then, for the next 5 breaths, keep your inhale the same count, but lengthen your exhale by 1 count each time. At the end of those 5 breaths, notice how you feel.  Do you feel more relaxed? You may need to repeat the practice several times to notice a positive effect.

Another wonderful tool for grounding and finding your higher self during the holidays is disciplining yourself to bring your concentration to one specific thing. This is mindfulness. Find something specific you want to bring your attention to during the holiday season. The more specific it is, the better. Maybe it is the sound of your breath? Or maybe you want it to be the sensation of air passing through the very tip of each nostril? Or maybe you want to visualize a color you associate with peace and visualize that color moving into your body as you inhale and out of your body as you exhale. Are you sitting in holiday traffic? Are you worrying about the weather forecast and how it will impact your travel plans? Or are you sitting in front of your bat-shit-crazy relative at Christmas dinner? Any of these mindfulness practices can be done inconspicuously to help you find your center, stay in control of the emotions and sensations arising, and know peace.

Knowing peace independent of what is going on around you and even inside of you is key to finding the magic and “child-like” wonder in this holiday season. Pick a tool that resonates with you and commit to practicing it. These are simple practices that can be done anywhere that, if practiced over time, will bring you the greatest gift of all: an internal fountain of joy and peace.

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About the Author: Michelle Smith is a program manager for Geisinger Health System, a rural health system in central Pennsylvania. She manages The House of Care, an outpatient home for adult cancer patients undergoing treatment, and the system’s Integrative Medicine program. Michelle uses the tools of yoga therapy, reiki, and vibrational sound therapy to help staff, patients, and family members know peace during very stressful circumstances. Additionally, Michelle teaches yoga at various studios in NE Pennsylvania. Michelle is the author of the book Always With Me: The Guide to Grieving Death through Integrative Medicine which is available on Amazon.

Blogmas – Christmas Giveaway from Koral Dawn!

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Hello my Unsanity readers and friends. This year has had MANY ups down lefts and rights for myself and my loved ones. How did I cope? Through you guys and blogging mostly! Even if it was just networking and working with all of you to get your stories shared and published, you made it all happen. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart and for attempting to keep me sane through the rough last half of this year. 2019 is definitely a year I won’t forget, that’s for sure. So let’s go out with a bang!

That being said, The Unsanity and Koral Dawn are doing it’s first ever giveaway for the holiday season!

***YOU MUST ENTER AT THE FOLLOWING LINK: CONTEST***

RULES & GUIDELINES:

  • The Unsanity contest starts December 12th and ends December 20th.
  • You MUST enter at the link above for your entries to count!
  • You must be following me on Twitter – this is a Twitter and blog post contest/giveaway.
  • Comment on this blog post with your favorite coping mechanism for your mental health – Yoga, Reading, Baking, a bath etc. I want to know what helps you!
  • This giveaway is open to the blogging community worldwide. 
  • Winner will receive the following: 1.) a Mindfulness Journal; 2.) Fineliner Pens for Journaling/Coloring; 3.) Let That Sh*t Go Activity Book.
  • Approx value of giveaway is $45, which includes shipping worldwide.
  • Winner will be announced and notified the morning after the contest has ended.
  • Return of items not accepted from winner.
  • Should winner chosen not be following, not have commented or tweeted the content, another winner will be selected at random.
  • Items will be sent out by Monday, December 23rd 2019.

Holiday Stress – Mama Detox

Hey everyone! My name is Rebecca, better known as Mama D, the face of Mama Detox. I am a mother of 6 kids…three grown & on their own and three still at home. We have run the gamut of home schooling, public school and now the younger 3 are at a private Waldorf School. Years ago due to allergies starting in one of my daughters (I have 5) we began removing toxic substances from our life, not just with food, but in EVERY aspect of our life.

My goal at Mama Detox is to help families transform their toxic lives into happy lifestyles. Join us on our journey and start your own at www.mamadetox.com or follow us on Instagram, Pinterest or even on Facebook.

Does the thought of the upcoming holiday season send you into a panic? Are you stressed trying to get everything accomplished? Do your children send fighting and sibling rivalry to a whole new level during the holidays?
Breathe! Let Mama Detox help you reduce the toxic effect of holiday stress.

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Holiday stress is nothing new. I am sure we are all very familiar with it, not only in our own lives, but in the lives of our children. Being the unique individuals that we are, we tend to manifest stress in different ways, but yet the same. Adults often become irritable, grouchy, short-tempered, yelling, cutting others off…just downright rude. Children as well will get irritable, short-tempered, easily frustrated, grouchy and the temper tantrums, screaming fits, sibling fights, unkind words, even hitting, kicking and biting episodes become all to common during the holidays. Unfortunately the negative effects of stress go far deeper than the outward scenes we see, hear or initiate ourselves.

One of the first steps is to identify what are the triggers or situations that causes our stress level to rise? Is it hosting the big family meal at our house? Cooking for all of those people? How about the endless barrage of holiday party invites? Trying to find the perfect gift for everyone on our list? What about your children’s source of stress? Does visiting all of those seldom seen relatives strike fear in their little heart? To many late night parties upsetting their routine and sleep cycles? Excessive amounts of sugar? (watch for an upcoming post on the dangers of sugar) It could be that your stress is being passed onto them without you even realizing it. Children are extremely intuitive and can sense when you are upset/stressed. They may not be able to verbalize it or how it makes them feel, but they know that their normally calm, supportive safety net is not as strong as it should be. In a crazy, frenzied time of life children need that calm, peaceful, reassurance their parent normally provides even more than usual.

Now that you have identified the cause(s) of stress in you and your children it is time to find a way to limit the negativity it causes in your life. Often we as parents have very different view points from our children (or even our significant other) as to which holiday traditions are truly important or even enjoyable. If you and your partner have not had a recent discussion as to what is important to each of you during the holiday season, I encourage you to do so before things get crazy and before you know it another holiday has come and gone. Even if you hashed it all out earlier in your relationship, priorities change as we get older, what was once THE tradition for your partner may not even register with them now. Or perhaps you had sat down shortly before the birth of your oldest and decided how the holidays would play out, but now 4 kids later, trying to follow that same schedule is just madness. Take some time, go on a date and discuss it, make a list one evening after the kids are in bed, get up early one morning and plan it out over coffee together…but have a conversation and get on the same page. This one step alone may relieve more stress than you think.

Next, if your children are old enough, ask them which traditions are important to them. Which ones could they happily let go? Are there any new ones they may have seen/heard of that they would like to add? The answers may surprise you. Years ago, after my first husband and I separated, I sat down with my older three (the fourth was less than 2 yrs) and asked them what traditions they felt we should keep, which was the most important to them, where there any traditions they didn’t really care if we still did or not, and was there a tradition that they didn’t even like? Surprisingly one tradition that all 3 of them found stressful was receiving a yearly Christmas stuffed animal.  They all felt like because this was a “special” stuffed animal that they would have to keep it forever even if they didn’t want too. I was *SHOCKED*! My children did not want a toy? They were even stressed by thought of having to lug this animal around with them forever? Well, that was one tradition that as a newly single, strapped for cash, parent I was happy to get rid of!

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Point to the post: often sources of holiday stress are ones we bring upon ourselves. We *think* our partner/kids/family want tradition x, y, z, but in reality they could happily do with out it. So, have a discussion. Communicate with each other and let the de-stressing begin!

Check out my FREE 5 day mini course on Holiday Stress Busters!

Thanks Rebecca from Mama Detox for sharing this short and to the point Holiday Stress post with my Unsanity Readers! Remembering to communicate for the holiday season is important, even if (and especially if!) you need help or guidance along the way to de-stressing. It doesn’t get better unless you acknowledge there is stress to begin with.

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