Tag Archives: living

Me First – Elaine Gallagher

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We are so accustomed to doing things for others without a second thought, but when it comes to ourselves we just keep putting it off.  That was me my whole life until I started to feel walls closing in and realizing I needed to make some positive changes.  I had gained weight, stopped exercising and had gotten into some unhealthy habits.

So I decided to change.  First of all, I started a new healthy eating regimen, after my doctor told me I needed to even though I was on cholesterol meds, because of my family history of heart problems, I decided to listen to his advice.  This coupled with the fact that my daughter was getting married and I wanted to look and feel beautiful that day.  So my new journey began….

First, I started cleaning my eating completely.  No more junk or processed foods.  It meant more planning of meals.  This was also going to benefit my husband, who has some health issues, to eat healthier.  Food shopping took longer but included lists of recipes and foods to include.  I looked for high-protein, low carb foods to infuse my diet with color and taste.  I scanned Pinterest daily for new recipes to cook fish, some new vegetables I discovered (butternut squash, escarole) and varieties of chicken recipes to get rid of the “Oh not chicken again” reaction to dinner.

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Next, along with a good friend, I checked out some exercise studios near me.  I started by going to use machines but felt as if I was bored and needed something more to keep me interested. We tried a few local places that offer a free class and finally found a place we now go to about four times a week.  I started enjoying yoga, piloxing, Zumba and triple fit programs.  And before you know it, the pounds came off and my confidence grew.  I am proud to say that I lost over 20 pounds and tightened up to looking spectacular at my daughter’s wedding if I can brag just a little bit.

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It would be the first and only brag of my life.  So now every day I push myself to remember how I felt that day and try to stick to my new plan.  Some days I do slip up (especially on vacation) but the trick is to not beat yourself up, but rather to remind yourself of your humanness and the need to work on ourselves every day.  It is a day to day journey.  Keep putting yourself first in your own life… you only get one to live so give it your all and reach for the stars.

Elaine Gallagher is an elementary educator and publishes a blog entitled HealthELiving.  Through this she has shared her journey to a healthier lifestyle. I just wanted to thank Elaine for contributing to my guest blogger showcase through February 2019. I keep getting more and more submissions in from amazing bloggers all over the world and I feel honored to share their stories. You can see the blog post I shared on Elaine’s blog here – my Classic Rock Sunday Morning Playlist. 

What Am I Anxious About? – by Kanzu and Kimchi Blog

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Hello Unsanity readers! It’s time for a guest blog post this week! Bloggers come from all over the world, and Kristie was so excited to write as a guest for me regarding her anxiousness relating to my current theme. She’s nearly 12 hours ahead of me in the world of time believe it or not. My morning is her late night and I think it’s amazing how networking and blogging can bring us all together from different ends of the earth. Check out her story below and give her blog some love (linked below in the paragraphs) and thanks so much for writing your story!

My name is Kristie, I recently started my own blog, Kanzu and Kimchi, where I talk about my expat life, travelling the world and shamelessly pinning and posting anything pretty I can photograph.  I’m 35 years old. I’m married, am a mother of two boys, have a Cavapoo/Cavoodle named Winston and currently live in Muscat, Oman. I love to travel, hate to fly and worry I’ll never have time to experience everything the world has to offer. I am obsessed with CrossFit, love to read and write and dream of being inspiring and creative enough to make a difference in the world. I have suffered from anxiety for most of my life. It has been tolerable, intolerable and at times downright debilitating. What am I anxious about? Everything and yet nothing at the same time.

I have nothing to be anxious about. I had an amazing childhood, came from a stable, loving household, went to University, earned lots of money, have beautiful perfect children and a perfect husband who supports every stupid, ridiculous thing I do… but it’s still there. It holds my hand and accompanies me to public events, keeps me awake at night with its incessant chatter and envelopes me in its suffocating embrace every time I board an aircraft. It makes me question and loathe myself as much as it propels me forward in a desperate attempt for perfection and success.

I remember starting to feel anxious about ‘everything’ the first time my mother was late collecting me from school. By late I mean, 5mins outside of her normal, ridiculously punctual routine. I envisaged she had been maimed in a horrific car accident, the victim of a reckless driver taken from my life forever.  My chest felt heavy, I couldn’t breathe, and I felt like I needed to flick my foot, shake my hand or walk around in circles to somehow abate the nervous energy that had started to take hold of my entire being. My world felt like it was spinning, and no words of comfort could pull me back from the abyss. It just grew from there, a constant sense of impending doom. I was afraid to fail, feared I would never be good enough, afraid that a thunderstorm would turn into a hurricane or that the Gulf War would somehow find its way to my front doorstep.

By the time I got to my early twenties my anxiety had become debilitating. I was afraid to drive my car fearing death by motor accident, I stopped leaving the house, I struggled to sleep and started to convince myself I had a million health issues. To fight the exhaustion, I lived on sugar and made frequent visits to my doctor, worried I was dying a slow death. After my 1001th visit my doctor sent me off for tests. He knew that because my anxiety had become so bad that his words alone would never placate my obsessive thoughts, I would need to see it all, written down in black and white. Once I was convinced it wasn’t coming to an end we decided on a course of action that still serves me well today.

Sugar, as most of you probably know can be a trigger for anxiety. It messes with your gut, which messes with your mind. It had to go from my life. It’s hard to say no to all that delicious, sugary, sweet food, believe me, I know. When I would get anxious I would devour an entire bag of candy. The more I ate the more I wanted, so the more anxious I became. I could never break the cycle. Removing sugar had a profound effect on my overall wellbeing. Most of us Anxious types produce a lot of negative energy, that horrible titchy feeling when you need to move or feel like something is coming? It needs to be re-directed and expelled so it doesn’t consume you. My doctor said to me some people need to exercise every single day. I am one of those people. I do CrossFit five days a week. It refocuses the negative thoughts and those feelings of impending doom on something that is far better for me than obsessive worry. By the end I feel exhausted, but content. If I can’t get to CrossFit I try and go for a run or walk the dog. I’ve always been active but having a consistent routine really helps keep the anxiety at bay.

Today I feel like me and anxiety live together in sweet harmony. With the help of a super rational husband, changes to my diet and frequent exercise I’m able to keep my anxiety in a tolerable state.

“We must suffer alone. But we can at least hold out our arms to our similarly tortured, fractured, and above all else anxious neighbours, as if to say in the kindest way possible, I know.” (Sarah Wilson, Author of New York Times bestselling book: First we make the beast beautiful).

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Five Ways I’ve Learned True Happiness – Mallory’s Thoughts

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Another week and another guest blog time! Huge shoutout to this beauty and her willingness to help out with my blog relaunch as I help with hers. October 1 was Mallory’s Thoughts blog relaunch and she decided she wanted to blog and really try and make an impact on others’ lives. We’re here to make that happen. Check out her guest spot below that she wrote and remember to check out her blog as well here.

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Hi everyone! Let me introduce myself to you. I’m Mallory and I’m 28. I was born and raised in sunny but hot Florida! I battle with Depression, Anxiety and PTSD. I was diagnosed when I was 16. I haven’t had the easiest life, but it’s made me who I am. My mission in life is to inspire others to stay strong and not to give up. I hope one day to really help someone.

It has taken me 28 years to learn that happiness comes from within. Others always told me that you can’t rely on others to make you happy, that true happiness comes from within yourself. I never believed them until I decided to make this year 2018 MY year and it completely opened my eyes. Below, I’m going to share with you 5 ways I learned how to become truly h a p p y .

1. Let go of your past: Over the years I kept my struggles to myself. I had a mindset that I could over come anything by myself. All I was doing was breaking myself. Last year I went and talked to a therapist and completely unloaded everything to her that I’ve been through. Talked about my depression, my anxiety, PTSD. I told her my experiences that I never told anyone else before. In doing so I FREED myself from the chains of my past that was holding me back. From there, I was able to accepted that I was a “Survivor” and capable of so much. I began to really love myself from there because I knew I could conquer anything. I felt like I had been reborn and that I had this new life ahead of me. I was so happy to be free, it was a whole new level of happiness.

2. Reevaluate your life: I decided to re-evaluated my life and to see who or what was hindering my happiness. I had to say goodbye to some people who meant so much to me but in reality they were just holding me back. Do I miss them? More than you could imagine but it was doing more harm than good to have them in my life. But the happiness I have felt from getting rid of those toxic people is much greater than how much I miss them. I know I’ve made the right call. I’ve re-evaluated my habits and the things I do. I’ve changed around some things to just make my life flow easier. I no longer put up with negative things. I use to give chances out like they were candy, but now I just don’t put up with it. 

3. Stop making excuses: I have always wanted to do a 5k. For YEARS I’ve wanted to but for some reason I never did. So last December I finally did one. I had challenges along the way that tried to stop me, but I kept pushing forward and did it. It felt so good. It showed me if you stop making excuses for yourself and do what you want to do it will bring you so much happiness. I have now done 2 5ks and in a week, I’ll be doing my 3rd. I’ve stopped making excuses for myself and if there is something I want to do, I’ll do whatever I need to do to make it happen. I won’t rely on anyone else to do those things for me. If I have to do it alone then so be it. At least I won’t have any regrets.

4. Take control of your life:  Before I had the habit of letting people’s opinions of me control my life. I cared way to much about what others thought about me that I stopped going after my goals/dreams. Even though that’s a battle I’m still working on, I have turned down the volume to those voices and raised the volume of my goals/dreams. I can honestly whole heartily say that 2018 has been the greatest year of my life. I have done more for MYSELF and I have chased my goals and completed some of them for the first time in my life. I took control of my life and I’ve been so happy. I have a new fire in me to continue to keep going and make my dreams come true. Again, no one else will do it for me.

5. Make yourself a priority: One of the hardest things I had to do was make myself the first priority. But I did. I put myself first and took care of myself.  With that comes the importance of Self Love & Self Care. I learned to listen to my body and not to over do it. If there was something I didn’t want to do, well I didn’t do it. I needed to please myself first and not do things to please others. I took time out each day to do things to take care of myself. For years I always pleased others first and then took care of myself. I needed to change that because I was losing myself. It’s perfectly okay to be selfish from time to time. Make yourself a priority. I can’t stress that enough. Take care of yourself first. It’s really the key to happiness. 

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My Life In 5 Years

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Picture it: Huge cactus next to the back porch, dirt for a driveway. Over-hang on the front of the door with an attractive bistro table set up. Community pool staring you in the face every day as you sit in the front of your house. You wander inside for a mixed drink from your mini bar that you made the night before and had extra of. Grab your favorite book and wide brimmed hat and head back outside to wait for your friend to get home. Putting your headphones in, you get a call from someone back home wondering how you are, and where you’ve gone. You tell them not to worry and that you’re living your life to the fullest where you should have been in the first place. You tell them that they should make a journey to visit or that they should get with the times and video chat you so you can show them everything you’ve accomplished the last few years. You tell them, “Sometimes you need to leave everything behind to start the next chapter in your life to experience new horizons.” It’s been a few years since you’ve been back home, and part of you feels no repentance for leaving everything you left behind. While you miss your family and friends back there, especially your mother and grandparents, there’s no other way you’d have wanted to spend your early 30’s than adventuring out west.

Cut back to a few years ago at 27 Years Old – you decide to tell everyone that you’re out. Done and gone with everything and everyone on the east coast and are in search of adventure. You’re in search of a job you love and a place you can call home. It’s the end of the summer and you’re not ready for it to be cold again over in the PA Mountains. You just want dirt and sun and some Death Valley vibes. You’re determined to do this on your own, and if anyone should follow, then you’ll at least have some company. At the time of commencement, you’ve found no one to adventure with you, but you’re still determined to leave it all behind and go forth with the new adventure that is your life. Different climate, different time zone and different people all around you. Maybe you’ll meet someone great out there and learn to grow as a person. But of course, these are all maybes, as this is never guaranteed.

You’ll throw everything out you own and make everything new when you get out there. Your mom will fly out there to meet you with your precious kitties so they too can have a better life. They wouldn’t like the car ride, and you’ll have to take your car out there with you, of course – so you can get to your new job as an Internet Brand Ambassador. The only thing you’d need to send out there for certain is the mattress you have that you love so much. If IKEA is a thing out there, that I’ve now confirmed that there is one out there, that’s where you’ll go to revamp everything in the apartment, including a mini bar for wine like you’ve always wanted.

Things can only go up from here, right? You’ve put up with so much the last few years – from dating someone who you almost firmly believe is gay, to moving all around and being stood up by people who you thought were your friends and now staying at a job you hate because you need to be able to afford to live and have a place to call home. When do things get better? When do things get easier for someone who struggles daily? When is your break? Your break comes when you are ready. Your break comes when you stand up and tell yourself you’ve had enough and you need a change. Break up with that person who wasn’t making you happy. Worry about yourself and not what others do. If they don’t give you the time of day – they’re not your friend and never were to begin with. Get rid of those folks in your life that don’t benefit you in every single way that you need them to. You’re who matters in this life, not anyone else that is not beneficial to your life. It’s time to do you – and it’s time to move to a new location, with new everything to start over. Every now and then it just has to be done. 

Time with yourself is the most treasured time there is – and that time is now. 

XOXOX

Koral Dawn

When The Warm Wind Comes Again

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My beloved do you know; how many years I’ve stared at clouds thinking that I saw you there? These are feelings that do not pass so easily- How can I forget what we’ve claimed as ours? I’m still proud of what we were; no pain remains no feelings – eternity awaits. Grant me wings that I may fly.

Back at Barnes and Nobles again on a Friday night because I have no life and it gets me out of the house for the moment. I’m still listening to the same album from yesterday unfortunately. It soothes me and makes me feel happy to some extent; even though half of it makes me want to cry half the time because of the lyrics.. isn’t it obvious? They’re meaningful and I can relate to them a lot. (If you’re confused as to which album it is, it’s VNV Nation with the Babelsberg Film Orchestra – Resonance. I love orchestral pieces, and would like to go see another soon. I need to find me someone who wants to go to Broadway with me and see some plays. I tree up roaming the city and I miss it. I wish I could live there and work there. I’d make a perfect New Yorker in my opinion. I love people and I love the city. Too bad it’s so damn expensive. Maybe now that I no longer have to rely on someone and can do what my brain wants for once, I can try to look for a job in the city and move there and finally do what I want to do. That’s just a thought. Any city really… but New York is ideal for me since I can always take a train home and leave my car with mom.. that’s what I wanted to do from the start but it never got to that point and then things shifted and I moved to PA. Not saying I regret that at all.. I’ve met all the people I know today by moving here and giving up all those fake friends in NJ.. I’m glad I was able to move to a place outside my comfort zone – I wouldn’t change it for the world.

I’m kind of shoved in a corner right now at Barnes and Nobles – I’ve made my nest and there are people all around me. I’m glad I’ve got my headphones on though – it drowns out het they’re saying because they’re disturbing my mental ability to put words together here for this post. There are definitely more people here than last night – and now there’s a baby crying next to me… Help. No bueno, no babies. Ugh. No wonder I never want any kids. I can’t even stand other peoples… unless I can give them back at the end of the day. I love them… when they’re not mine to take home. And for some reason they love me. I worked at a day camp for years, and I loved all the kids there but I would never never in a million years take any of them home with me or want to. They were the brattiest most annoying children ever with hardly any supervision. Every now and then you’d get a good kid who was quiet and not annoying at all and then hope seemed to be restored. But then – demon child from hell. Not something I wanted to deal with when taking them home. I’ve known for awhile now I never want children. And I was lucky enough to find someone who didn’t want them either.. now that they’re gone, I feel its going to be hard to find someone else that never wants children either. And truthfully does not want any, not just because they love me; but because that’s what they want as well.

I’ve moved now to my bed and have stopped writing for the night. It’s now Sunday night and 8pm. I’m sitting in bed doing nothing but this and Friends on TV. Romeo is sitting here staring at me, Moomoo is sleeping on my purse that’s on my bed. Tonight’s hard for me. He admitted he missed me and loved me, which is great.. but still refuses to act like a human adult and talk about problems and work on what we have. I want to know if I’m wasting my time. I don’t like wasting my time on things that will go nowhere. I have a life to live and I can’t keep putting my life on hold for everyone and everything. If nothing is better by April, I am then looking to move to another state again and start over and cut ties to everyone and everything.. I’ve thought about this recently more than I’d like to, but I think sometimes you just need to pick up and leave and not look back. Those that miss you will let you know and be there for you and those that don’t will show it by not making themselves present at all in your life. I already found out who my friends were once, I guess I’ll find that out again if I leave this area. I’ve not much left to give and I’m tired of wasting my time. Once my lease is up, over the summer maybe, and I can save up some money maybe.. I can leave and move on finally.

I shouldn’t be feeling like shit all the time; and I deserve to live. After all, I’m only 26 and I want to travel. Granted I don’t have much money but I want to be able to go where I want. I’ve thought about buying or renting an RV, packing up life and getting rid of everything I own and travel cross country with the Meows and see what happens. I wish I could just get up and leave and go somewhere far away like my friend Jessica did. She moved from Seattle to Australia and has been traveling ever since and I envy her so much. She is truly living life the way I want to I just don’t have the financial means and I will never give up my Meows for anything. They are what’s been holding me back from a lot- they are the glue that makes me sane and hold my head together. I’d be even more miserable without them. More and more I think about leaving and traveling.. it becomes the first thing in my mind when I wake up every day. Thinking – I just want to leave everything and not have to deal with anything ever again. I would worry about me myself and I .. and the meows because meow. Maybe one day – I just hope I’m not too old to handle myself. I want to do it young; and I wouldn’t mind having someone come with me.

Your hearts were never made of stone. Rise up you earth bound demons; rise up before me now and fight. Your time has finally come. Take me back before the years and memories … before the hourglass has drained; before the colors start to fade.

August 11, 2014

Here are your photos of the day – take these in… understand them. Read them multiple times.

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You’re all monsters who think you can get away with everything.

Shape up – or ship out. I don’t have time for fake people in my life. I need those people who are going to be there for me and going to make an impact on my life. There are people I want there regardless of the past and there are new friends I want there because they’ve said they care but I’m waiting to see it. Out of sight out of mind – and you know what, I’m going to start doing that to those who’ve done it to me. I need to remove the negativity in my life and be happy for once.

The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had. `♡

||Koral♡Dawn||