Tag Archives: medicine

How I Deal With Depression During The Holidays – Ruth

“The most wonderful time of the year” is fast approaching. Although it doesn’t always feel that way. Especially when you struggle with depression. I know first hand how it feels to be in a really dark place around this time of year and it drains you. Having to deal with your mental health and the stresses of preparing for the festivities can get too much.

That is why I thought I would share a few techniques that I use to deal with this. Seeing all the happiness around during this time of year can be intimidating. However, these following techniques help to lift my spirits an awful lot.

Do Not Avoid Friends and Family

Around this time of year, you will start being invited to gatherings with friends, families or colleagues more and more. I know how difficult this is to agree too when you have depression but you need to try. Trust me, if you don’t show up to a gathering, you will only feel worse in the long run. You will feel guilty that you didn’t go especially during the holiday season. It is a time for friends and family. Spend time with them.

Let Them Support You

Do not hide your feelings just because “it’s meant to be a happy time of year”. Be completely open and honest about your depression with the people that you love. You will not be a burden and then they may be even more understanding when you don’t seem as happy as they feel like you should be.

Don’t Forget Self Care

During this hectic time of year, I know how difficult it can be to focus on looking after yourself. You are constantly thinking about others, and what perfect gift to get them for example. As a retail worker too, it is so hard to fit in self care when it is so busy!

Spend any days when you have absolutely no commitments, focusing on you. You need to find a healthy balance between not isolating yourself and finding the time to practise self care.

Personal Winter Self Care Methods

Whenever you get some free time, do something that you genuinely enjoy doing! Or even look up “Winter Self Care Tips” on Pinterest and try some out. I thought I would mention a few of my favourite Winter Self Care methods:

Make yourself a hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows.
Turn on the fire, read a book or watch a film.

Get Thoughtful Gifts

There is one thing that is guaranteed to make me happy over the holidays. Buying gifts for others. It’s more the reaction from them that makes me happy. This is why I always put a lot of thought and plan into my presents and what I get for each person. It is definitely worth it.

If your budget is tight, you don’t even have to spend money. You can make or draw them something if you are creative in some way. You can just leave them a heartfelt note inside a card. Do this for your support system. Let them know how much you appreciate them and make THEM feel happy.

Attend Events

There are so many events going on over the holiday season. This sense of community and togetherness can really heighten your mood. Attend a Carol Service, a Christmas Market etc. Anything specifically on over the holidays that attracts your attention since I know my suggestions may not be everybody’s cup of tea. But it’s not even about joining in. For me, it’s about being in an environment filled with happy people.

Take the opportunity to absorb all of the positive energy around you. Treat yourself to as much of it as possible! You will be so focused on that and having a great time that you won’t have time to be depressed.

A Final Word

Do you have any ways to deal with depression over the holiday season? Feel free to message me on any of my social media. I’d love to get to know you!

About the author: Hello! My name is Ruth, I am 22 years old and I live in the “always sunny” United Kingdom. My main goal in life is to help as many people as possible with their mental health struggles and give hope for a happier future. My hobbies include; Blogging, listening to music, spending time with my lovely cat and so much more! You can find me on other parts of the internet here: Blog Pinterest Facebook Twitter Instagram

High Pressure BPD – theboywithbpd

Leave a reply

Borderline Personality Disorder and pressure wouldn’t be my first-choice of cocktails, yet here I am having a big old pitcher of the stuff every day.

I’ve been racking my brain on how to write this piece, what’s the best angle? But the only way I can write it, is to make it about me. Not in a showy off way, I’m not that vain, but I admit parts of it will come across so. It’s not really an inspirational piece either, maybe a little, more advisory, a little cautionary perhaps. A tale of two sides.

A brief history lesson into me, I’m 38, I have 3 kids, at the time of writing they are 7, 2 and 7 days old. I have been with Sarah my partner for 10 years this November and I have BPD. I’ve always known there was something ‘different’ with me but I was only diagnosed 6 months ago, mainly because of the little breakdown I had, but that’s another story.

I have been for the first 37 years of my life what you call ‘high-functioning’, meaning from the outside you wouldn’t have clue if I was depressed, suicidal, manic or somewhere in between. I also haven’t told many people of my diagnosis, only 12 to be precise. None of which I work with. I was the master of bottling things up. On one side you could say it’s served me well in my career, on the other you could say it caused my breakdown. Eventually that pressure has to go somewhere right?

For any of you that work in Recruitment you will know how tough it is, for those that don’t, I don’t have the word count to explain, you’ll have to just trust me. I specifically work in Technology Recruitment; it is very sales and target driven. It is also very cut throat, I have worked in places where if you don’t hit target for 3 months you are fired, no ifs or buts. Fired.

Yet somehow here I am 12 years in the job. I also manage 4 teams, I am a Billing Manager, which means not only do I have to hit my own personal sales target, I have to make my teams do also. Combined I am responsible for a target of just over £1m.

That is a big number with a lot of pressure.

I hate it. I fucking hate it.

But let’s start with the good stuff, the showy off stuff. The money is good, I’m not a millionaire, I’m not rich, but good enough that Sarah doesn’t need to work, the kids don’t go without holidays and any new toys they want. I was also able to buy my house with no outside help. We generally do what we want, within reason.

Great right?

Yeah, but it has come at a price. And that price is me. My job is the main cause of my depression, there are not many days that go by where I don’t think about jumping in front of that train. I have lost count of the times I have sat crying in the toilet, or holding back tears as I walk home. Every day I want to cry. Every damn day.

The worst part?

It’s all by my own design, I am held hostage by my own circumstances. I am in a position where I don’t know how much longer I can cope with my job mentally, but I also have the responsibilities that come with it, and the mortgage my job has allowed me to have. It’s not like I can just quit and start again.

I didn’t lie, this piece is not an inspirational one, I suppose you could say I have managed to hold down a well-paid and high-pressure job with my BPD which may inspire others to believe they can do the same. But then you have to take the cautionary side into consideration, the pressure and the damage it has done.

There is a third option, the way that I would like this story to be taken if I had my say. You could, use it as a metaphor for not judging a book by its cover. From the outside I have ‘nothing to be depressed about’, you never can tell what someone is coping with, especially if they don’t want you to.

For the gods of mental health, we are a walking buffet, everyone is up for grabs, BPD and other disorders have no prejudice, we shouldn’t either.

Author Bio: I am theboywithbpd. I was only recently diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, I’ve always known there was something, ever since I was a kid, but it took a breakdown to find out. I am 38 years old and have three kids with my partner Sarah. I am now finally trying to do the things I’ve always wanted to, writing being one of them, you can read my blog here https://www.theboywithbpd.com/

The Five Most Effective Ways to Overcome Social Anxiety Disorder – Ralph Macey

Physical Symptoms

Cognitive Symptoms

Behavioral Symptoms

● Sweating

● Chest tightness

● Muscle tension

● Blushing

● Chills

● Blurred vision

● Shaking

● Chest pain

● Dizziness

● Shortness of breath

● Lump in the throat

● Trembling voice

● Ringing in the ears

● Dry mouth

● Diarrhea

● Nausea

● Headaches

● Paresthesias (tingling)

● Heart racing (tachycardia)

● Heart pounding (palpitations)

● Feelings of unreality (derealization)

or Feelings of detachment from oneself (depersonalization)

● Negative bias

● Negative thoughts

● Negative beliefs

● Avoidance

● Escape

● Safety behaviors

How does a person feel when his/her Introversion gets combined with anxiety?

Introvert people normally don’t want to join the party life. They are not social butterflies or the late night partiers. They always like a job that involves sitting quietly all day long, rather than communicating with clients, hosting a presentation, or supervising others. They like getting separated from life’s deep problems and wanted to live with loneliness.

At the same time, their natural desire to spend time alone makes it very difficult to expose themselves to the situations that cause anxiety.

Now the question is, how does an introvert with high functioning anxiety disorder overcome this situation?

Here are a few steps that can be taken out to start the journey.

1. Educate yourself about the causes of social anxiety

Being an introvert person If you feel that you are having symptoms of social anxiety, you must learn about it as much as possible and get benefited. You should know why you can’t seem to open up in front of everyone and be as you are to others.

As a reference, you may check out the Social Anxiety episode of comedian Paul Gilmartin’s podcast, The Mental Illness Happy Hour with psychologist Dr. Ellen Hendrickson. There, Dr. Hendrickson discusses the physiological causes of social anxiety in easy language.

One best thing that she pointed out there is, “it’s all about being mindful of your ability to control your thoughts and reactions.” That means with regular practice, and a stone-cold determination to control it, you may positively manage your social anxiety.

2. Have a fresh start with your new life

You don’t need to buy a new house in a different state or city and start a new life. In order to get a fresh beginning, you may join a new club or boost your career with a new job. Remember, by heart you are an introvert person, so you must reach out to new people and interact with them regularly.

Keep telling yourself that everything is going to be ok, and you’re going to be the person who you want to be.

These new people do not treat you as someone awkward, because they don’t know you well. So, do not let them make any dull impression about you, present yourself as a social butterfly or as a cheerful person that you always want to be.

This process might not work for every person you meet. But to become successful with this method you need to overcome your shyness and fear. The more a person knows himself and has that much knowledge about his social anxiety, it will get much easier for him to overcome his weakness. Hendriksen says – “You become less anxious by living your life.”

I felt the same way when I was entering college. Moving away from home kept me scared. I was shy throughout grade school. But when I moved to college and made new friends, communicated with them openly without judging them like I used to do at my school, I felt it was so cool.

It actually kind of worked! Gradually, I socialize with all my friends, and their friends, and their friends, and…said goodbye to my loneliness.

3. Avoid social anxiety lies

Hendriksen says “Social anxiety makes us think the worst-case scenario is definitely going to happen,” But that’s definitely a wrong perception. Practically, worst-case scenarios don’t often happen.

Being an Introvert with social anxiety, you can avoid this situation easily. First, you have to imagine the worst-case scenario about any situation, and then think deeper till you figure out exactly what you’re afraid of. That means you should seek the outcome that you fear, and then argue with that fear. Hendriksen added, “It’s harder to argue with the foggy mirage of fear.”

By seeking and facing the exact threat, you may figure out how likely it really is.

4. Define your life goals

Basically, the best way to win over your shyness and social anxiety is to take a gradual approach. Have you ever thought about talking to the first hot girl or guy you meet in your college? Have you ever asked for a dance to a junior girl or boy whom you like, in your college prom party?

See, doing such small things can help you a lot to fight against your social anxiety. Ending up a conversation isn’t exactly a cool option to overcome your fear. Instead, you may set small achievable goals that may help you to become more sociable.

For example:

Say good morning to 10 people whom you see first in the morning
Ask 10 people how they are doing
Ask five people for the time
Share candies with your schoolmates, colleagues
Make eye contact with someone you feel attractive
Read the newspaper loudly to your friends or neighbors
Say hi to your neighbors while passing by
Say goodnight to each of them whom you meet while going back home

These small gestures may trigger self-confidence in you, which may help you to reduce social anxiety and shyness.

5. Consult a therapist or psychiatrist

Unfortunately, for some introvert with high functioning anxiety, the situation gets too serious to deal with alone. If some person has an anxiety disorder or depression that can’t be cured with self-motivation, then the patient might require clinical help with proper professional care.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is quite helpful to guide a patient through such a situation. Psychiatrists Dr. Joseph Burwell, can prescribe anxiety medication to help the patient in serious conditions. There’s no shame in getting the help you need from a therapist or a Psychiatrist. They are here to help these people who suffer from severe social anxiety disorder.

Few important words…

A person who suffers from social anxiety, can’t maintain his/her personal and professional life properly. But it’s important to keep fighting with this issue as long as possible. Be patient and remember that you are not alone. There are many people who still love you. Work hard, do your exercises, it’ll help you to lower your stress and improve your mood so that you become the best version of you!

Author Bio

Ralph Macey is associated with the SavantCare which is a mental health clinic, where his job is to look after those people who are suffering from chronic mental disorders. His motto is to focus on the integrated interventions to improve mental health conditions and the other alternative approaches to healing.

Fibromyalgia and Me – Sydney Culver

Hello Unsanity readers! Thank you for staying with me this far along in my featured guests posts! I have been doing this since about October and have featured over 10 guests thus far! My next one is no stranger to anxiety and life struggles, especially when dealing with a physical illness that triggers these types of reactions. Please welcome Sydney Culver and her battle and realization with Fibromyalgia and mental health.

Four years ago, I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. At the time, I didn’t realize there were signs years before and of course I didn’t know what to look for, so I treated the symptoms and not the cause. I broke out in a horrific case of hives, conveniently when I was going through a very difficult time in my life. The hives were so bad, the doctor wanted to me to essentially sign my life away by agreeing to some egregious amount of steroids to get the issue under control. I was already on a serious course of steroids, and had put on at least fifteen pounds, coupled with a moon face. I was terribly depressed and in pain. My ex-husband suggested another allergist, who was less aggressive and my husband was all for the second opinion. In about a month the new doctor had the hive condition in remission and the swelling began to go down. Nevertheless, my personal life was in shambles and even though I was getting better physically, I believe I was becoming a bit unhinged mentally.

I never really believed in “mental illness”, “anxiety” or “stress”. I thought one could just stop being sad, or depressed or anxious. I figured if you want to feel good, you will. Make yourself snap out of it! Boy was I mistaken. When your life is in turmoil and your health is in question, you cannot just snap out of it. I wasn’t sleeping, I wasn’t eating. There was one night when my sixteen-year-old daughter stayed up most of the night with me, comforting me as if she were the mom. I was that far gone. There was no way I could gain control of my emotions without help. I ended seeing a psychiatrist and he put me on an anxiety med and a sleeping pill. I learned exactly why sleep deprivation was a form of torture. I slowly got my life back on track.

A few years later, I was promoted from assistant principal to principal. The only catch was we had to relocate to North Carolina from Florida. My husband and I were elated. Before I was to report to work, we planned a trip to my hometown of Manhattan. It was hot and grimy in the city and my feet and hands began to seize up as we walked around town. I felt a shooting pain from my finger tips to my elbows and my fingers were so swollen, I couldn’t even wear my wedding ring. I thought the heat was getting to me but once I started the job and began to deal with the stress of a boss who loved to bully and belittle me, the shooting pain in my feet, fingers and arms, and the move from one state to another I realized there was something really wrong. I didn’t want to get out of bed, I would cry at the drop of a hat, my best friend came to visit and didn’t recognize me. My husband and bestie wanted me to walk away from the job. The stress was clearly breaking me down and once again, I wasn’t sleeping or eating.

As time went on, I had the wherewithal to not let the bully win. My primary doctor recommended a great neurologist who began to test for various auto immune diseases and I began the process of treatment. The medications are not only nerve blockers, but also used to treat depression and anxiety, which seems to accompany Fibromyalgia (my eventual diagnosis).

I believe the mind can control health. Stress can manifest itself as a disease. You cannot control the snowball effect of anxiety or depression without help. I suggest you don’t even try. There’s no shame in admitting you have a problem.

Virtually Yours, Koral Dawn

I work hard so my cats can have tuna

Tag Archives: medicine

How I Deal With Depression During The Holidays – Ruth

High Pressure BPD – theboywithbpd

Fibromyalgia and Me – Sydney Culver