Tag Archives: mindfulness

Misconceptions About Borderline Personality Disorder – Payton via In The Flux

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Borderline Personality Disorder is probably one of the most stigmatized yet underrepresented mental illnesses out there. What people know about BPD, if anything, is often times cherry-picked and wrapped in Hollywood style dramatics.

This exaggerated idea of us even finds its way into the mental health system. Many mental health professionals don’t want to work with us, believing we are too hard to treat or just don’t have experience with Personality Disorders.

Which leads me into the first misconception…

1) It’s impossible to treat us

This stereotype often found in the mental health community is definitely not true. DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy), one of the most successful therapies used for treating people with BPD, was created in the 1980s by a psychologist named Marsha Linehan, who also had BPD herself. And this has been the preferred treatment for BPD ever since.

In addition, there have been several studies done that show BPD can get better with age. I personally can’t attest to this, as I am 21, but only time will tell.

  • BPD is only found in Women

Although 75% of people diagnosed with this disorder are women, there have been reports that indicate that there may be more men with BPD than expected. Many of them possibly being misdiagnosed with something else such as Bipolar Disorder or PTSD.

  • We don’t feel empathy

Having low empathy is not one of the following nine symptoms of BPD:

  1. Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment
  2. A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by extremes between idealization and devaluation
  3. Identity disturbance: Markedly or persistently unstable self-image or sense of self
  4. Impulsive behavior in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging
  5. Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-harming behavior
  6. Emotional instability in reaction to day-to-day events
  7. Chronic feelings of emptiness
  8. Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger
  9. Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms

Although, some may see these symptoms and equate that to having low or no empathy. People with BPD are often thought of as having ‘3rd degree burns over 90% of our bodies’, as coined by Marsha Linehan. Meaning we feel everything. Everything we do and feel is in extremes, which can include empathy.

  • Everyone with BPD is the same

There are nine symptoms and out of those nine you need at least five to be diagnosed. So, there are countless combinations of traits one could have. So someone with BPD can have completely different symptoms compared to someone else who also shares the same diagnosis.

Plus, we’re still human. We all experience things in different ways. This disorder is also on a spectrum. So, someone might experience all nine symptoms to a severe degree, compared to someone who might only experience five at a lesser degree.

  • Borderline Personality Disorder and Bipolar Disorder are the same thing

I can see how these often get conflated. Firstly, BPD is a personality disorder and Bipolar Disorder is a mood disorder, but they do share some similar symptoms. For example both disorders experience mood swings, albeit in a different way.

Often times, when people use the word ‘Bipolar’ flippantly, (think ‘Oh she’s so Bipolar’), the mood swings that they’re talking about are more in-line with someone who has BPD. We experience mood swings several times throughout the day, everyday. Some can last just a few minutes, to a few hours, or sometimes a few days.

As with Bipolar Disorder, I don’t have personal experience with this, so I don’t feel comfortable speaking on it, but here is a great article highlighting the difference between the two.

To be inclusive in bringing awareness to mental health, we must speak about the lesser-known or ‘scary’ mental illnesses and challenge these stereotypes. You can’t paint people with one brush. We are individuals with different feelings and experiences. Although, as pervasive and unwanted these symptoms are, we can still love and be loved, feel joy and happiness, and experience life.

I encourage you, even if you have never personally struggled with a mental illness, to challenge these biases that permeate our society. Everyone has been touched by mental illness in some way, whether that be you personally, a family member, or a neighbor. With a history and culture that hasn’t been very kind to us, education is the key to disrupt and change these unfair stereotypes.

Author Bio: Payton is a lifestyle blogger over at intheflux.com where she talks about mental health, social issues, and lifestyle and wellness topics. You can find her on Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest.

Money Stress and Budget – Hannah Coe

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January is often the month that we’re skint and money stress is at its high. Overspent on Christmas and no money left for the New Year… December pay checks are usually paid before Christmas, which although great for the Christmas budget, isn’t as good for the bills. To top it all, January is also a longer month so it means longer to wait till payday.

It doesn’t have to be all doom and gloom though!

By following a few simple tips and adapting little changes in your life you change it all.

Preparation is the key to success

It’s true! Have you ever heard that saying ‘fail to prepare, prepare to fail’?

I know what you’re thinking, this sounds like hard work… It really isn’t and just stay with me.

Create your budget

You don’t have to be elaborate with this, all you need to do is write down all of your incomings and outgoings.

I normally start with my income at the top and outgoings below. I split my outgoings into fixed costs (bills etc that I have to pay) expected costs (food etc) and then unexpected costs (random spends).

When I filled this in for the first time I used my spends from the previous month to get an accurate idea of what I was spending.

Income:

Wages:-

Outgoings:

Fixed costs

Rent:-

Gas & Electric:-

Water:-

Internet & TV:-

Expected costs

Fuel:-

Food:-

Subscriptions:-

Unexpected costs

Clothing:-

Household bits:-

Days out:-

Random:-

That’s a very basic example of a few things that I will include on my budget overview sheet. There will be more things on your overview and how you categorise them is up to you.

You may be wondering how this will help to reduce stress but it puts everything into perspective. By having everything written down in front of you, you can clearly see where your money is going.

Cutting your budget down

So, you can now see where you’re spending your money and some areas may have shocked you already. My food spend for example was A LOT more than I thought it would be. Because I just put everything on my card I hadn’t realised how much it was until it was staring me in the face!

Look at all your outgoings and think if you could reduce them.

Fixed costs like rent/mortgage will be harder to change but can you swap your utility bills to a better deal? Have you actually tried?! It’s actually loads easier than you think. And trust me, I do it every year! And you can cut your bills easily year on year.

Expected costs is an easy one to cut down, do you need that subscription that you’ve not actually used in the last few months? If not then cancel it! Set yourself a goal of cutting your food bill down by £10 a month, just do it little by little. There’s no point saying you want to half your food costs in the first month because it’s probably not going to happen. Hats off if you do though!!!

Unexpected costs are those random spends and do we really need them? Things like no spend months can be fab when trying to reduce these spends.

How to reduce your spending

Now that you’ve created your budgets for each category, you need to start actually spending less. It’s no good just saying you’re going to spend less, that will just increase your stress!

I’ve already mentioned a few things like switching your utility provider and taking part in no spend months. There are also fab challenges such as the 365 day penny challenge that encourage you to start saving more.  

How can all of this reduce my money stress?

Creating a budget puts YOU in control of your money. And yes, you may think you are already in control, but are you? Do you know, without looking, how much you spend on food every month for example. Write down your estimated spends first and compare this to your actual spends. I thought I was in control but was surprised at myself!

One tip that I use is taking my budgeted money out of the bank and having it as cash instead. By spending cash instead of card it feels more real. You see the money leaving your purse and how much you’ve got left. This is known as the cash envelope system by Dave Ramsey.

Does it work?

YES. In the 6 months or so that I have been actively budgeting I have cut my expenses by about half. By ‘actively’ I mean looking at my spends at the end of each month and reducing them for next month.

All of this motivated me to spend just £500 on Christmas this year, you can click on my blog to see how I got on!

I’d love to know how you find budgeting and if you’ve got any questions feel free to send them my way!!!

Author Bio: Hi, I’m Hannah, a 27 money and lifestyle blogger from Manchester. My site is focused on how I live my life in a frugal – some may say ‘tight’ – manner. It features some amazing freebies and bargains that I’ve found over time, including a page of live freebie
links so you can get your hands on them to! I also share my money saving tips and tricks that I have discovered through my own personal journey so far, I do work in accounting but have no financial training or expertise! Everything I write is my own personal opinion.
Social Media Links: blog twitter facebook instagram

Distraction in the Modern World – Taryn the Dragon

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Greetings to The Unsanity readers from Taryn The Dragon in South Africa. I work full time in the Data industry, study part time and blog on the side. I’m quite new to blogging and this is my first guest post. I’m super amped to have this opportunity. Thanks so much Koral Dawn.

dragonballWhat you need to know about me

I have depression and anxiety and a host of other chronic illnesses that have had a huge effect on my life. In 2019 I entered therapy to deal with all of the stress. I’m on a journey and I have had to take a deep look at myself and the world around me. There is an underlying theme that comes up often with mental health issues is that of mindfulness: Being conscious or aware and present in the moment.

Recently I have been watching videos that could help me become more in tune with myself. Observing people like Dr Gabor Mate, Alan Watt, Dandapani, in the hopes of understanding what mindfulness truly means. I know it sounds cliché but it has been quite a revelation. You can find my musings about this journey on http://www.dragonscodex.net.

Let’s talk about the world we live in

Adulting does not come with an instruction manual. Even great parenting does not quite prepare you for living in this golden age of technology. Information at the click of a button. Friends on WhatsApp (1 billion users) or WeChat (697 million users) or Facebook (1.59 billion users). Strangers on Twitter (320 million users) or Instagram (400 million users). Family just a Skype (300 million users) call away. [1] How do we actually get anything done? What I’m saying is that we now live for the thrill of ‘Distraction’. And this is why we need to cultivate a mind-set geared towards mindfulness.

How to move beyond distraction

Have you ever looked at your device and just thought “FFS ~ now what!?”. That’s a very good indication that you need to start practicing mindfulness for your own sanity. Let’s explore a few mindfulness concepts to aid you in your daily success.

Stop making excuses

Image by TeroVesalainen from Pixabay

Do what you say you are going to do. If that means going to the gym at 5am, do that without fail. You are building trust with yourself and in so doing gaining confidence in your decision making.

Control your awareness

Multi-tasking is great but it splits your focus and actually makes it harder to allot sufficient time to a specific endeavour. If you’re working on a proposal put the phone away and close your emails. The world will not fall apart if you give yourself 20 minutes to do something. Focus on this one thing. If your attention drifts bring it back to what you are doing.

Meditate

Image by CadreLuxe from Pixabay

No I don’t mean go assume the cross-legged sitting asana and chant endlessly, unless that’s your jam. I mean have some quiet time to get away from the noise. Be still, sit with your thoughts, have a nice cup of coffee. Be comfortable doing absolutely nothing and being alone.

Get clarity

Know what you want to achieve. Know how you are going to achieve it. The easiest way to do this is to make a list or keep a journal. And always note your achievements as they keep you on the path you want to travel.

Walk away from energy vampires

Ain’t nobody got time for this! To quote Dandapani: “Treat energy the same way you treat money. It’s a finite resource that needs to be wisely managed and invested.”

Uplift others

Image by Grae Dickason from Pixabay

When stuck in your own mind or even your own world where things are not quite going according to plan, do something for someone else without expecting any benefit in return. By uplifting others you uplift yourself. You’re present in a beautiful moment that will keep you going through difficult times.

Embrace change

All of these concepts require some effort on your part. It means you need come to terms with changing your life. As for me, it has helped me find this lovely Zen spot where there is less stress, more energy and more love. I’m really enjoying it this balance.

[1] Attribution for stats: https://makeawebsitehub.com/social-media-sites/

Valentine’s Day and Holiday Coping – Lexie Wohler

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When holidays such as Valentines Day come about, do you find yourself getting down in the dumps? Does the thought of being around a large crowd for Valentine’s Day or any holiday frighten you, or make you anxious?  Does decorating for the holidays stress you out? How about preparing for a family reunion with a dinner? There are some things you can do to make yourself feel better.

You don’t have to always host the holidays at your house. Try to limit having people over for any holiday get together, if having a party makes you anxious.

You don’t have to decorate extravagantly for each holiday either. Only put out the decorations that you have the energy and time to put out. Be sure to pick out some of your favorites so you get to enjoy them.

You can limit the number of people that you invite if you decide to host a holiday dinner party. The less people you invite, the less stress you put on yourself.

Make the dinner menu simple instead of extravagant. If you keep it simple, and make something that you enjoy cooking, it makes it more enjoyable to prepare. If people don’t like what you’re cooking, they will just have to live with it for one day, or they can leave if they don’t like what you’ve prepared. Leave the choice up to them.

If you’re down in the dumps about any holiday, specifically Valentine’s Day, do yourself a favor and treat yourself to a meal that you really enjoy.  Or make your favorite meal. Eat the meal in front of the TV or watch your favorite movie. Have a cup of your favorite wine or whatever drink that you enjoy, whether it’s non-alcoholic or alcoholic. Enjoy yourself instead of dreading the holidays. The holidays don’t have to bring you down. Remember that you are in control of the way you feel.

If you find yourself down in the dumps about not having anyone to spend Valentines Day with, don’t give yourself too hard of a time. Rather enjoy the time that you get to spend by yourself. Think of time alone as precious time with yourself. Enjoy the quiet moments that you get to have. If you learn to enjoy being alone and appreciate the time that you have, then you will learn to cherish the time that you could eventually have in a relationship. Finding love takes time, so don’t rush into anything that you’re not sure of. If it doesn’t feel right, then don’t rush it. Whenever the right person comes along, you’ll know.  

Take each day as it comes. Try to enjoy the holidays. Not everything about the holidays are bad. Just adjust your thinking. Instead of thinking negatively, try thinking positively. It will help you relax more. Take time away from the stress of the holidays to find yourself. Focus on yourself instead of focusing on how stressed you are. Make sure to find things that you enjoy doing that coincide with the holidays, so they can be more enjoyable for you. Don’t put pressure on yourself, just let things happen as they happen.

Remember, it is ok to feel down in the dumps during the holidays, just don’t stay in that place for too long. Don’t let it ruin your day, or your outlook on the holidays. It is ok to feel stressed, but don’t let it take over your thinking. Try your best to enjoy your life, no matter what holiday might be coming up.

Lexie Wohler is a repeat guest blogger with The Unsanity and you can find a few of her pieces scattered throughout my website. ❤

Fun Date Ideas for Valentine’s Day – Lexie Wohler

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When Valentine’s Day comes up, you sometimes worry about what to do for your significant other. You may want to do something nice, but if you’re strapped for cash, then it can be even more difficult to figure out what you will get your significant other. The important thing to remember is that Valentine’s Day is not about the gifts that you give to your significant other.


Here are some ideas as to what you can do for a Valentine’s Day date if you don’t have a lot of money.

  • Figure out a meal that you and your boyfriend or you and your girlfriend both love. Then get the ingredients and cook that meal for dinner. Complete the ambiance with their favorite flower and candles, maybe even ice cream for desert. They don’t have to be expensive candles, or ice cream either. 
  • Surprise them by cooking their favorite meal when they come home from work. Then they will least expect the surprise. They will also remember it and cherish it forever. Don’t worry, it doesn’t have to be something extravagant like Chicken Marsala. It can be as simple as barbeque wings and a glass of Moscato or sparkling grape juice.
  • Order take out of your favorite restaurant and eat at home. That way you don’t have to worry about cleaning up and doing dishes afterward.
  • Sometimes there’s nothing better than watching a movie and curling up on the couch next to your favorite person instead of going on a date night. Some couples love to just be with each other and enjoy each others company instead of going out on the town.
  • If your girlfriend or boyfriend loves chocolate, then go get them their favorite kind. Chocolate is sometimes called a girls best friend. But men love chocolate too.
    If your girlfriend loves flowers, then surprise her with them. Even a single red rose is a symbol of your love and affection toward her.
  • You can even make gifts for your boyfriend or girlfriend. A homemade gift is something that they will always remember. It can be a homemade card, a sweater, or anything that you can think of.
  • A foot massage, or back rub given to them by you is often times a girl’s favorite gifts. It can even work for the guys too. Sometimes all we need is a ten-minute shoulder, foot, or back massage to relieve the stress and tension of the day at work.
  • Trust me, even though guys love to help their girlfriends relieve tension by giving them massages, they too appreciate it when we reciprocate and give them massages too. They may not ask for massages very often, but most men appreciate a nice massage. Even if they say they don’t want one right away, try massaging their shoulders and see if they relax more. They may not want the massage to continue for as long as us girls do, but it’ll go a long way.

There is no gift that won’t be appreciated by your significant other. Whatever you choose to do for them for Valentine’s Day, let it come directly from your heart. Just enjoy each other’s company. It shouldn’t be about the gifts. Being together is the best part about Valentine’s day.

Lexie Wohler is a repeat guest blogger on The Unsanity and you can find her numerous other posts through my website. ❤

Time For Another Freebie!

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Hello readers! It’s been awhile since I had decided to make some simple freebies for you all. With the holidays being busy and alot of my time being taken up with work and drama and everything else; I just haven’t been able to do what I wanted for those of you that look forward to these. I promise to have more coming in the next few months!

What other freebies would you like to see here? Comment & let me know!

good-vibes-onlyDownload
mind-over-matterDownload
get-nakedDownload

*If you want the version without the blog name, please comment and I will be happy to send it to you. 🙂

Learning To Slow Down in a Fast-Paced World – Zoe Thomson

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Learning To Slow Down in a Fast-Paced World

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Convenience is wonderful. Having everything at our disposal, all the time. Never having to worry about opening hours when we have online shopping, or missing a TV show when we have catch up and streaming. But when everything is available 24/7, it means we have to be too.

People apologise for taking social media breaks, we’re overloaded with information, and if you don’t keep up with current events you’re left behind. We’re under pressure to be plugged in all the time and it’s taking a toll on our mental health.

We’re exhausted all the time because we’re not allowed to switch off. Every waking moment has to be filled with something productive so we can make more money, work more hours, learn more skills. And then we experience burnout, and we’re even farther behind, there’s no way we can catch up. It’s hard not to feel like we were doomed from the start.

Mindfulness takes the autonomy away from our day to day lives, and helps us slow down and truly be present in the moment. Practising mindfulness sounds like an easy task, but nowadays with constant stimulation and entertainment around us, it’s a real challenge to be bored. How many times have you picked up your phone today?

We weren’t meant to live at such a fast pace. When we slow down and take in our surroundings, we appreciate so many people and things that we might have previously took for granted. It’s better for our health, and it’s better for our relationships. Practising mindfulness helps us become more aware of our thoughts and feelings so we’re better able to manage them instead of getting overwhelmed. We’re more tuned in to our senses and surroundings and we’re less likely to do something on autopilot because our brain isn’t distracted – or it’s not desperate for a distraction anymore.

Mindfulness is easy to practice daily and doesn’t require hours of your time. You can practice mindfulness wherever you are or whatever you’re doing. If you find yourself being pulled in every direction and your thoughts are scattered all over the place, start with some mindful breathing. If you can, go somewhere quiet. Take one big, deep breath. Aim for around 5 seconds. Hold it for a second, and then exhale, releasing the tension from your brow, jaw, and shoulders. Imagine the hundreds of scattered thoughts and noise leaving with the tension, and allow yourself to start from the beginning with a clear mind.

There are loads of other great mindfulness techniques you can practice every day or just whenever you feel stressed.

Focusing on one thing, and not having your mind in six places at once, will reduce stress. The stress that used to pile up and eat away at you doesn’t have any power over you now; because you have control. You might eventually find that you don’t get as overwhelmed with the fast paced world as you used to, and you start doing things with intention, instead of just doing things for the sake of it. You might learn something about yourself, about what you need and what you don’t need. You’ll learn that it’s okay to disconnect, and go down your own path. The easiest way to win the game is to stop playing. Instant and autonomous works for robots; not people.

Zoe

Author bio: Zoe Thomson is a freelance writer living in Scotland with her boyfriend and one spoiled pug. She runs her own mental health blog, No Light Without Darkness, and has published work on The Mighty and I am 1 in 4. You can find me here: Blog, Twitter

Finding Peace This Holiday Season – Michelle Smith

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Today’s guest blogger on The Unsanity is a new friend of mine who has personally helped with my stress and anxiety at the House of Care in rural central PA at the hospital we both work at. Michelle is a very wise individual, promoting balance and reminding everyone in her life to take care of YOU. You are number one, and you need to find your inner peace this holiday season.

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When I was a child, I did not understand why adults found the holiday season to be stressful. It was great. There were parties. There were family gatherings with presents. And the food was so yummy. There were trees to decorate, cookies to make, and maybe even some snow to play in. What in the world was stressful about these things?

Now that I am an adult and “life” has happened, I totally get it. When I was in my early twenties, my father died suddenly from a massive heart attack during the Christmas season. Each year, Christmas is a yearly reminder of my father’s physical absence. And, all those things that were so magical and enchanting as a child are now tasks to conquer on my list. Looking at that list can create stress and anxiety that can be difficult to manage.

Over the past decade of cultivating a yoga practice, I have come to realize that my practice is the doorway to finding peace during the holiday season and all year long. Yoga equips me with tools that help me find my true, higher, peaceful self. Yoga is so much more than a physical practice done in a studio. Yoga equips me with a set of tools that have a positive effect on my being.

Poses or the position we put are body in has an energetic effect. Through self-awareness, it is important to recognize when we are anxious and stressed. Responding appropriately during those first moments of realization is crucial to finding internal peace quickly. The longer we are stressed and anxious, the more time it may take to return to center and peace. Face-down positions have a grounding effect and are great for balancing anxiety and stress. You can simply turn your palms face down. If practiced over time, the subtle practice of turning your palms face down may yield large returns of internal peace. Or, you can lie on the floor or your bed face down for several moments and see if you feel a subtle grounding sensation.

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The breath is central to the yoga practice because it interfaces directly with the nervous system. There are simple breathing practices that we can employ to upregulate the parasympathetic nervous system, the part of the nervous system responsible for helping us rest and restore. We can be in a truly crazy environment and through some simple breathing practices stay relaxed. One easy thing you can do is lengthen your exhale. A basic practice for lengthening your exhale is to take a breath and count the length of your inhale and exhale. Then, for the next 5 breaths, keep your inhale the same count, but lengthen your exhale by 1 count each time. At the end of those 5 breaths, notice how you feel.  Do you feel more relaxed? You may need to repeat the practice several times to notice a positive effect.

Another wonderful tool for grounding and finding your higher self during the holidays is disciplining yourself to bring your concentration to one specific thing. This is mindfulness. Find something specific you want to bring your attention to during the holiday season. The more specific it is, the better. Maybe it is the sound of your breath? Or maybe you want it to be the sensation of air passing through the very tip of each nostril? Or maybe you want to visualize a color you associate with peace and visualize that color moving into your body as you inhale and out of your body as you exhale. Are you sitting in holiday traffic? Are you worrying about the weather forecast and how it will impact your travel plans? Or are you sitting in front of your bat-shit-crazy relative at Christmas dinner? Any of these mindfulness practices can be done inconspicuously to help you find your center, stay in control of the emotions and sensations arising, and know peace.

Knowing peace independent of what is going on around you and even inside of you is key to finding the magic and “child-like” wonder in this holiday season. Pick a tool that resonates with you and commit to practicing it. These are simple practices that can be done anywhere that, if practiced over time, will bring you the greatest gift of all: an internal fountain of joy and peace.

michelle-smith

About the Author: Michelle Smith is a program manager for Geisinger Health System, a rural health system in central Pennsylvania. She manages The House of Care, an outpatient home for adult cancer patients undergoing treatment, and the system’s Integrative Medicine program. Michelle uses the tools of yoga therapy, reiki, and vibrational sound therapy to help staff, patients, and family members know peace during very stressful circumstances. Additionally, Michelle teaches yoga at various studios in NE Pennsylvania. Michelle is the author of the book Always With Me: The Guide to Grieving Death through Integrative Medicine which is available on Amazon.

Blogmas – Christmas Giveaway from Koral Dawn!

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Hello my Unsanity readers and friends. This year has had MANY ups down lefts and rights for myself and my loved ones. How did I cope? Through you guys and blogging mostly! Even if it was just networking and working with all of you to get your stories shared and published, you made it all happen. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart and for attempting to keep me sane through the rough last half of this year. 2019 is definitely a year I won’t forget, that’s for sure. So let’s go out with a bang!

That being said, The Unsanity and Koral Dawn are doing it’s first ever giveaway for the holiday season!

***YOU MUST ENTER AT THE FOLLOWING LINK: CONTEST***

RULES & GUIDELINES:

  • The Unsanity contest starts December 12th and ends December 20th.
  • You MUST enter at the link above for your entries to count!
  • You must be following me on Twitter – this is a Twitter and blog post contest/giveaway.
  • Comment on this blog post with your favorite coping mechanism for your mental health – Yoga, Reading, Baking, a bath etc. I want to know what helps you!
  • This giveaway is open to the blogging community worldwide. 
  • Winner will receive the following: 1.) a Mindfulness Journal; 2.) Fineliner Pens for Journaling/Coloring; 3.) Let That Sh*t Go Activity Book.
  • Approx value of giveaway is $45, which includes shipping worldwide.
  • Winner will be announced and notified the morning after the contest has ended.
  • Return of items not accepted from winner.
  • Should winner chosen not be following, not have commented or tweeted the content, another winner will be selected at random.
  • Items will be sent out by Monday, December 23rd 2019.

How Mindfulness Can Make Parenting Easier – Mother of All That is Perry

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Welcome! My name is Erin! I like to think of myself as agony aunt, funny mum and wordsmith of all things parenting from icky tums and dirty bums to baby blues and the terrible two’s.

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My social links are as follows:

How Mindfulness Can Make Parenting Easier

For a lot of people, becoming a parent is one of the best things in life. It’s enriching, rewarding and above all challenging! However, if you are a parent you will also know how stressful it can actually be.

Children have copious amounts of energy and need to be on the go all day. Their little minds work much faster than ours and so with everything else us adults have going on it can be pretty hard keeping up with the kids.

By the end of the day we can be worn out with very little energy to do anything else that needs done. Some parents turn to comfort food, others turn to wine but at the end of the day nothing has really changed and tomorrow will be the same. This is where mindfulness can help.

What Is Mindfulness

What Is Mindfulness?

The formal definition of mindfulness is:

“A mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique.”

In my words, mindfulness is living in the moment. You must clear your head of every other thought about the past or the future. You also have to focus solely on what is around you.

Try it now. Take a deep breath and look at what is around you. Focus on something specific, maybe a candle… What does it feel like? How does it smell? What does it sound like? That… is Mindfulness.

Comfort Food

Mindfulness In Parenting

So, how can mindfulness be used in parenting to make it less stressful?

Most people get mindfulness confused with meditation. Obviously, they both require your full attention however, mindfulness does not have to be quiet and it doesn’t have to be alone. You could even practice mindfulness at a festival. And so, practicing mindfulness while parenting is easier than you think.

The first thing you need to do in order for this to work is turn off your phone (or at least out it on silent in another room). We live in an age where having your phone in your hand 80% of the day is normal, sadly. But, you have no idea how much more you will relax just by putting that phone down for an hour.

Secondly, turn off any other electronics that are likely to cause a distraction. You want your kids to practice Mindfulness too rather than sitting watching a mind numbing program that they’ve probably seen 3 times before.

Then pick an activity that is going to use all your senses. For babies you could get a “touchy feely” book, for toddlers you could do some arts and crafts, for children you could bake and for something for the whole family: go for a walk. You might be surprised by how much there is to focus on outside. By choosing an activity with a lot of texture or dynamics you can spend more time on it.

Finally, break convention! You have to think like a child, smell the puddles, taste a twig, listen to a leaf. I know I might sound like a raving loony but take it from somebody who practices mindfulness with her kids: spending an hour, taking the time to become aware of your surroundings is going ton help you unwind and tire the kids out.

How Do Children Benefit From Mindfulness?

As I said before, practicing mindfulness takes a lot of brain power which can tire your children out and keep them from getting bored. By taking time in the activity you do, you’ll find your child learns much more than what they would at a standard pace. These are great benefits for your child but teaching our children about mindfulness will also help future generations. Hopefully our children will make a habit of practicing mindfulness and teach their children to take time away from distractions. It may not seem like a big deal but I almost guarantee that if everybody practiced mindfulness daily, the world would be a little more positive.

Minfulness In Parenting