“When you’re dumb enough for long enough, you’re gonna meet someone too smart to love you, and they’re gonna love you anyway, and it’s gonna go so poorly.” – Neil Hilborn, Ballad of the Bruised Lung
Been awhile, life’s been crazy. I’ve been trying to find the time to keep writing but I just haven’t had any. I mean I have, but I’ve had no ideas really to make me want to write anything substantial in my opinion. It’s been a blur to be honest, I can’t believe a year has almost gone by since myself and guy started dating again.. and it makes me feel semi good, that I can make it better than the last time we dated since we both effed up the last time and several times after that. Seems like we can’t just get it right.. Maybe this time won’t be so bad… here’s to hoping!
I’ve taken some photos recently, with guy’s other camera the Sony a6000 and I like it. But I only like it with the 90mm Macro since it’s amazing. I kind of want it. But there’s no way I can afford the lenses for it. Yes, I can borrow his, but what’s that going to do for me should something happen with myself and him. I will never give up my Canon camera for something else. I would only add to it. I plan on trying to start a collection of some sorts and when I finally get a home, I will have a camera closet for all my things.
Here are a few shots of the Sony a6000 that I took just yesterday around Nanticoke, PA.
When you’re tired of waiting and time is not on your side
When you’re tired of hating me, you no longer want to hide
It’s time for another session of relaxation and tea bath before my roommates get home and take their long shower. I’ve been thankful enough to get to take some nice showers lately thankfully, and it’s helping my mood a lot surprisingly. *hand clap* Off I go because then I’m going to sleep forever tonight, maybe I’ll put my hair in curlers again. We’ll see since it seems to poof then I use them, lol!
“You know that he doesn’t love you, right? He does not love you. He does not think about your eyes before bed. And he does not pick up the phone in attempt to dial your number. He doesn’t dream about your hands in his hair or the way your cheek grazes his. He doesn’t care about your mother and he never will. He doesn’t want to learn from you and he certainly doesn’t want to teach you. He will play with you as he has and he will use you for his pleasure. He will use your body and your advice, he will use your humor when he is lonely, he will use your essence as a crutch. He will never love you. He will not respect you. He will never be sorry for what he has done or what you’ve experienced. He will never strive to be like you and he will never be your hero. His voice will always tower over yours. He will always have the last word. He will never care about your needs, no matter how big or small. He will always blame you. So remember when you’re broken, remember when you’re tired and shattered all around the room, that he does not love you and if he did he would be walking through that door to pick up the shards of your heart, bloody fingers and all.”
It’s Monday morning, and I’m sitting here applying to jobs and oddly enough, came across this quote and it totally makes sense to me. I think a lot of people should read this and listen to what it’s saying, it might just change your life. It didn’t for me, however, but for some of you out there struggling with something like this, take note of these words.
I know a few people going through something like this right now and it breaks my heart sometimes to hear all the shitty boys out there that keep doing this to females. Liars, cheaters, boys that play with emotions. I mean hell, just going on Facebook I see a lot of this and I’m about to go and just delete people because I don’t need anymore of this crap in my life with everything that’s going on with myself.
Why can’t everyone be truthful to who they really are and stop the lying and telling people what they want to hear? Maybe someday society will learn, but that day is not today. There are always going to be liars and humans like this – it’s who we are as a human race. And it’s best to stay away from these types of people if you can help it.
Alright so now, It’s February. Already a month and some odd days gone by in the new year, and it seems like it was just Christmas. Pretty soon it will be again. I don’t like that. Life is just flashing before my eyes and I don’t like it one bit. I want to be able to slow life down and grab it by the horns and say WOAH GIRL, HOLD UP. But it’s not that simple. Not at all.
I’ve decided to change my blog around a bit, changed the look of it and decided to go for a more.. professional look rather than a teenager look if you wanted to call it that. Of course I’ll still write about the same stuff here and there, post pictures, that doesn’t matter. I just think that having a nice looking blog is always for the better.
So I think I need to sell a few things. I’m way behind on money and I shouldn’t have bought some things I did, but I needed them, like cat litter, cat food, food for me, bookcases etc. Just some things I needed for around the house that well, I didn’t have. And now I’m regretting it. If you can do anything to help me… my PayPal information is MarigoldxKaye@aol.com You can donate money there… so I don’t fall behind on anything. I know not ALL of you people out there are assholes… There are still SOME good people out there that can help when they can. It seems I always help people out.. but they can never help me back in return. I’m always putting help out there for others.. and then get hit in my face. All the time. ALL the time. Oh well. I guess I’m just too nice to everyone. And you people wonder why I close myself off occasionally and don’t talk to anyone.. It’s not my fault. I’m tired of being nice. I always get screwed over in the end.
On a side note, I think I’m going to change my blog once more though. Unless you have an opinion on this layout? I think it’s a bit TOO plain or a bit too blah for me, even if it is professional. Please leave feedback here in the comments so I know what to do. Please, and thank you in advance.
Also… on a happier note, we’re getting snow soon.. I hope we get alot, I don’t feel like doing anything this weekend really. I want to sit inside and watch movies and drink hot chocolate and clean out all the clothes I have. I have too many clothes.. I need to sell some. Would anyone be interested in buying some? Haha. Sorry, I tend to ramble on.