Tag Archives: Mustang

Audience of One

Good evening everyone!

It’s Saturday night and I’m sitting at home still in clothes sitting at my computer, rather, staring at it to give me some inspiration for doing some art, and so far, I have come up with nothing. I should probably do some work today to make some money but I’m honestly quite lazy right now and don’t feel like doing anything at the moment. My creativity has come to a halt and I don’t know why or what’s happened lately. I need to get out and do some photos or something but I just can’t bring myself to do it.

I decided to make a new blog signature and even that took me about a half hour of just playing around in Photoshop, but I think I’ve finally settled on something. What do you guys think? It’s nothing special really, but I couldn’t figure out which graphic to use for it and then remembered I had an awesome Raven to use and there it is. Thoughts? Anyone? Bueler?

Anyway, there’s nothing really new going on I need to talk about these days except I’ve been a little bit better for some reason. Still lonely, yes, because I come home every night alone but hey, there are alot of people out there that come home alone every night and they’re fine, right? I’m just one of those people now, lol. I wish I had someone to come home to every night, but I just have cats, and I think i’s going to stay like that for a very long time sadly. I’ve always told myself I was better off alone anyway, but you know what, I do get lonely too you know. Sometimes I just need a damn cuddle or something lol. Yeah, good luck with that one anymore though I usually say to myself.

On to more pressing things, my birthday is in 21 days, and I’m kind of excited! I’m turning 25… a quarter of a century old, and man do I feel it. In my mind I think I’m still young… I want to think I’m still young, but I only give myself till 50, so technically I’m half dead at this point come September 19. I need a mid life crisis I think if that’s the case. Before I die though, I need to get the one car I’ve wanted for ever… a Mustang. Yeah yeah yeah, I know not everyone likes them and people that drive them are all assholes according to some people but whatever. I’ve always wanted one, and before I die, I will get one, somehow. I want a newer one though, 2015 or 2016 model. You know, the one that looks like a Nissan squished out a Mustang logo and called it a new Mustang… yeah that one. I think they’re gorgeous. And let’s face it, I’ll never own a McLaren or Bugatti that I want so I better settle for something atleast remotely reasonable.

I think I’m going to actually go and get some Oreos and Milk and relax on the couch since I don’t do that much anymore. I don’t know why I’m telling you this but whatever. This is my rant for the night since I have nothing else to say right now. More later or another day when I’m feeling more energetic.

 

Here I Am

Here I am sitting in my car.
It’s nearly 1 in the morning.
I just came back from seeing a good good friend of mine who thankfully has not deserted me yet and the drive back was wonderful this late at night.
I’m excited to pick up and drive everywhere this summer when I get my car.
I can’t wait to get into my Stang hopefully this summer if not for my birthday.
I don’t care if it’s PA and it snows alot.
I’m stuck this close to work for awhile anyway, you only live once and when you die you have no debt to worry about anymore.
I need to do something for me.
This car will be mine.
It’s the only thing I’ve wanted since I was 13, and I plan on making this summer happen.
I don’t care that it won’t be a brand new one.
It will be a 2014 still and wonderful.
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Sitting here listening to Timber by Ke$ha and Pitbull and I’ve nothing on my mind..
I just keep repeating in my head:
“IM A PEACOCK, YOU’VE GOT TO LET ME FLY!”
For some reason that line all makes sense to me now.
I’ve been living here 3 years now.
This past year has been a challenge for me to say the least and I’ve never felt this way.
New feelings, new heartbreak, new sadness, yet some new joy at the same time.
It’s been very weird to say the least.

There are things I would have been doing this summer that I am no longer doing yet still want to do. Hard, because they involve things I don’t have anymore, ha. But I’ll manage. I definitely have to do the Renn Faire still regardless because my friend and I have to. There’s no questioning that. And I plan on breaking even more plates than last time there that’s for sure. I can’t wait till we get our outfits for it too. They’re going to be so beast, you’ve no idea.
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Still, it’s now 1 AM on the dot. Sitting in the car, music blasting. I don’t want to go inside yet. It’s so nice out and the music is great right now that I have on. “It’s like dance party USA teen bop it type of shit.” (name that movie!)

Hold me close and I’ll surrender to your heart. Before the flame goes out tonight, we’ll live until we die. Come out till we lose control to a raging fire. Time will give and time will take… all the memories made will wash away.. and even though we change I’m still here with you. If you listen close, you can hear all the ghosts that bring us down. Hold on to what makes you feel, dont let go, its what makes you real. Let the world leave us behind, let your heart be next to mine. ♡ Oh Phillip Phillips.
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For some reason I can’t fall asleep anymore. I’m just not tired at all almost and New Orleans messed me up. I think I’m still in party mode and just want to be up all hours doing whatever I want and then crashing. I really need a longer vacation. Or to start living life more and doing something. But that all requires money and well, I’m trying to save… yeah not going so well really.
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On a side note… oh Enrique Iglesias. Your music is so damn catchy and I feel like I’m in a club right now and that’s what I want to do anymore.

Anyway! I really miss sports. I’m going to try and wake up early and head to Kirby for a run/walk. I need to start doing something so I’m not so tired all the time. Or go to the gym. Or play a sport. I miss baseball and bowling. I should join a league and stick with it. I’ll start running and go from there. Since I have that 5k coming up in june… I need to prep so I don’t die too much while there. And I need to start eating right too. That’s another thing I’m doing wrong. I want to lose that chin I got for some unknown reason. Ugh. So many things!
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Omg. Pharrell’s “Happy” just came on and I just want to dance like I’m in Hairspray with Zak Efron. Ha, slide slide, swish, snap fingers, twirl. I hope no one’s around right now outside because I’m totally going to do it.
And the funny thing is anymore is: I’m not happy. I’m not sad though. Im… numb. And well, numb is better than dumb and dead, right? #yaynumbness That reminds me; I need to watch Dispicable Me 2 now that this song is playing.

I really should go inside. It’s 1:30 in the morning now. I lose track of time so easily these days and I get by on little sleep. I sleep dreamless nights usually too.. it’s been really odd. I used to have such pleasant dreams and now I don’t even have anything. I don’t know if that’s bad or not.. to be honest it’s awkward and scary at the same time. Something has to give.
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There’s a bunch of movies coming out that I want to see… Neighbors is already out.. Malificent is coming out.. Godzillllahh I need to see asap. Blended looks good too surprisingly and so does 100 Ways To Die In The West. I need people to go see them with. And I STILL have to see Spiderman! Damnit, so many movies that I need to see its unreal. 😦

Well, now that I have a tired cat laying on me for the night and I’m inside, I should probably sleep. It’s now 2 in the morning sadly. And I still can’t sleep well. Sigh. Oh well! I’ll leave you with this picture of words I enjoy a bit too much. ♡
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|| Koral♡Dawn ||