I made something for you – with spring coming up soon and everyone in a panic over this COVID-19 virus spreading – here are a few things you can do for self care. I hope you enjoy!
I made something for you – with spring coming up soon and everyone in a panic over this COVID-19 virus spreading – here are a few things you can do for self care. I hope you enjoy!
Societal norms and cultural expectations can often be too much too process, and they can slowly erode your self-confidence and your beliefs, simply because you do not fit some sort of a mold. I’ve lived and grown my entire life in a very loving community, a metropolis as colorful as they come. But that can often be a disguise for numerous internal forms of prejudice, masked bias, and other issues I’ve experienced over the years. I am lucky enough to live in a time when talking about mental health has become less of a taboo, enabling me to find support in many different facets of my life, fashion included.
In fact, fashion, among other things, was one of those factors that I took for granted and underestimated its potential to heal. As it turns out, life has the funniest of little epiphanies saved just for you, and mine helped me realize that my sense of style and my wardrobe can be my way out of my own black hole. Here’s a little glimpse into my journey, and I hope it will bring you comfort and some ideas as to how you can cope with your feelings and struggles, too.
For a moment, let’s go back to expectations. As a gay man, I’ve had my fair share of prejudice and criticism to face from our fellow straight people, but strangely enough, in our own community, it seems that there’s another set of expectations that many of us “fail to meet”. I often felt as if I was never “gay enough”. Do I really have to wear a rainbow every day for every occasion to prove my sexual orientation to others, to anyone? It’s that kind of an attitude that pushed me to choose overly-tight jeans, tees with quotes I didn’t like, and wear too many rings for my own liking.
We’ve all been there. Wanting to be liked and approved of is often the driving force of some of the silliest, most meaningless decisions we make, and I was no exception. So, when I completely forewent my own preferences, my self-esteem plummeted. When I finally learned to say no and started replacing my skinny jeans for comfortable chinos, I felt I could breathe again. Putting my self first may have started with chinos, but it sure as hell didn’t end there.
Steampunk is many things, but gay isn’t one of them. Or at least that’s what those limiting expectations would have you believe. Today, I can happily live this simple truth: you’re no less gay for the clothing choices you make or the accessories you love. Much like a straight man will never suddenly turn gay upon admitting that he loves pink unicorn socks. So, yes, as a way to heal my own self-perception, I started infusing my look with details that speak volumes of my personality and my diverse interests.
Suddenly, I’d gladly wear a stylish skeleton watch with a simple button-down, and I’d absolutely revel in my own reflection. Instead of piles of colorful rings, this single accessory is a timeless piece of sophistication that perfectly embodies my style preferences. It’s details like these that helped me understand that I had lost my sense of self, and that it was high time to begin rebuilding it one self-affirming choice at a time.
As a minimalist at heart (with the occasional trip to crazy land of floral swimming trunks), I’ve always been a huge advocate of wearing black. Although I’m still very much in love with that look, my efforts to build a more positive personal image have led me to a slew of research studies that pointed the impact of colors on our mood and emotions. I did some homework and began adding different hues that would hopefully affect my mindset in a positive way. Lo and behold, results ensued, and I still wear my sage green shirt and my orange hoodie.
Some of the more recent fashion trends also use different colors of different saturation, which has inspired me even further to take a few steps outside of my fashion comfort zone and allow myself to play with my own style. This creative take on my look alone has given me a safe space in which I can explore my emotions, directly impact my mood, and still ensure self-affirmation.
Depression is a sneaky creature. It tends to affect your every action and your every thought, and it’s extremely difficult to root out once it takes hold of your mind. In my deepest states of self-denial, I would even reject compliments from people who genuinely care about me – and I would never, ever let them sink in. I was fortunate enough to have one of my friends point out this habit of mine, and it actually took me weeks of practice to start making any progress.
But, the sheer act of accepting compliments got the ball rolling. When I’d get myself to say “thank you” or “that’s very kind of you”, I’d open up a little window in my mind, allowing for the possibility that the compliment might be true. That I might actually look amazing, that my smile might be radiant, that my new boots look great on me. This little mental exercise through accepting compliments on my looks and my fashion choices helped me slowly embrace the possibility of a world in which I love myself.
Although the idea of “happy clothes” or “happy colors” definitely varies from one person to another, I’m beyond grateful for the fashion choices we have today and the people who diligently create them. They’ve meant the world to me and continue helping me through all of my ups and downs. I’ve used this creative process to find myself again, and to rebuild my appreciation for myself, and I hope that others will use it to find beauty in themselves once more.
With Christmas being less than 2 week away now, there’s still time to get unique gifts for everyone on your list from Amazon with two or one day delivery to most states. I’ve curated a list of a few, erm, strange yet useful gadgets and items that anyone on your list would appreciate this year. (This is in no way an ad and I do not get any compensation for featuring these item’s on my blog whatsoever. These are items I have selected from personal interest.)
Of course we need to start off with this shower/bathroom/anywhere wine holder for while you’re getting ready or relaxing. Made for those wine-os who just need a place to store their glass so they don’t spill it and lose their precious wine. “Finally… a little “you” time. Pull out that silky robe. Crack open a great book. Light a few candles to set the mood for the pièce de ré·sis·tance: a truly luxurious soak.” I’m just going to come out and say it: everyone on your list can use this even if they don’t put wine in it.
Even if you don’t like nature (which, I don’t know why you wouldn’t) this bird feeder can entertain you and anyone else in your household for hours including pets. Are you a photographer? This is the perfect gift to get some wildlife/bird portraits you normally wouldn’t be able to get. And guess what! It includes the suction cups that they guarantee are weather resistant and will not slide down on the window. Enjoy seeing wild birds up-close like never before.
Need a solid yet funny and comical planner/to do list to keep yourself organized during the day… Look no further. There’s a lot to be said for sloth philosophy, and this notepad says it all. And honestly, I added this little guy to my cart as I was writing this because maybe it will help me get my sh*t together a little… after my little naps. “Get your to-do list out of the way so you can focus on what’s really important: relaxing. Take it slow and have fun without worrying that you’ve forgotten some obligation. Maybe indulge in a nap full of slothlike, stress-free dreams.”
Now, you might not be into camping, but if you love the outdoors and have 2 poles or trees in your back yard, this portable hammock is definitely for someone on your list. With that price of only $25 or under, and a complete 5-star review of over 2,000 people, something tells me you can’t go wrong with this. This is a double hammock, and can hold up to (get this) 1,000 pounds! Something tells me I’m going to be adding this to my wish list today…
Trying to drink that water your doctor keeps telling you to drink daily to stay hydrated? Do you hate the taste of plain water though? Check out this leak-proof water bottle infuser to add your favorite fruits to. It is 100% BPA Free, comes with a carrying handle and it’s easy to clean for when you need a refill. “Water is plain, water is boring, and water is tasteless – and since we live in a sea of flavor packed alternatives (usually swimming in sugar and potential dangerous chemical additives), it’s easy to see why we skip the healthy option altogether.”
Picture it: you come in to your office in the morning and it’s warm because they had the heat on all night. This little fan will give you just the right amount of comfort at your desk to help cool you off for a bit. Did I mention that it plugs into your computer or laptop in order to work? How cool is that? It’s got 3 speeds, it rotates to fit your needs and is available in a few colors.
Give the gift of cold to that beer lover in your family or friends list. “The HOPSULATOR TRíO keeps your drinks 20x colder than a standard neoprene can-cooler, so that your last sip has the same refreshing kick as the first.” Don’t have a beer lover in the family – fear not. This can also be used to keep your coffee and tea warm wherever you are with the lid attachment.
This cutting board is the perfect gift for the chef in your life. My husband and I actually have a cut out of Pennsylvania and we LOVE it, even if it’s just for decor half of the time. Just selcet the drop down menu and pick your state or your friends state and ta-dah! This fun, whimsical laser-engraved artwork calls out all the wonderful sights and places in the state of your choice. I mean, of course I had to choose NJ to feature, because I will always be a #JerseyGirl. Did I mention that this is bamboo? Bamboo is much gentler on knives than most cutting boards and won’t ruin them when you cut on this.
Have you ever seen the colors of fall? The leaves changing to different colors are some of the most incredible things to see. There is nothing quite like taking a drive and seeing the colors blend beautifully together. Instead of seeing just green on the trees, you get to see bright red, orange and yellow. We often take the fall weather and the fall beauty for granted because we have lived here for so long.
We don’t always see the beauty for what it is, until someone else mentions it to us. We often hear the comments of, “What a beautiful fall we are having”, and “it’s nice that we get to see the change of seasons unlike other places.”
Some of my family members come up to Ohio just to see what fall looks like for us. Many of my relatives don’t get to experience the serenity of fall because of where they live. They are in awe of the changing colors and the different atmosphere they feel when they come to Ohio in the fall.
Most of the time, the leaves start changing color in the middle to late September and they continue falling until after thanksgiving in November. When the leaves start dropping, you can see clear across the valley that we have in our backyard. The smell of fall is something very different, too. You can tell that fall has come when the air has a crisp clean sent to it and you feel the colder air in your lungs when you take deep breaths.
It is so refreshing to walk outside on a crisp clear day. It is one of the ways I enjoy fall. I take walks and photograph the changing colors of the leaves and the beauty all around me. I hear the leaves crunching under your feet as you walk. Have you ever walked outside and smelled the air after a thunderstorm? Well multiply that clean smell by 10 times and add the rustling of the leaves all around you and you just know fall has come.
Sometimes the fall can be fairly warm for our Indian Summer as we call it, in the 60s and 70s. Whereas some other years, the temps can drop to the 50s pretty quickly. The temperatures are some of my favorite aspects about fall. They are often just perfect enough for me to break out some of my favorite sweatshirts and some of my favorite sweatpants. There is nothing like sitting around a warm campfire, drinking warm cider as the temperature drops to the 50s in the evening and into the night.
Some of the fun things you can do include going on nature hikes in some of the area’s finest Metroparks systems. The truth is, you never know what kind of animals you’ll see, from possums to beavers to deer and sometimes even wolves and coyotes. My family often jokes that we have the Disney movie Bambi, right in our backyard with all the woodland creatures around us.
Some other fun things to do include going camping and sitting by campfires and raking a huge pile of leaves just to jump in them and have them spread all over your yard. Fall gives you more wonder to gaze at than you ever thought possible.
Come experience fall in Ohio if you’ve never been here before. You will not be disappointed.
As the catchphrase goes for Ohio, whatever you’re looking for, you can always find it here.
With the first day of autumn being September 23rd this year, I thought you would all enjoy a new freebie this weekend of a recipe card! It’s a simple design, but oh so adorable to use. I mean, look at that little squirrel in the bottom left corner. I’ll add this to my Freebie Tab in my blog for you to download if you’d like to use it to keep all of your favorite fall recipes together and in order.
Is it possible to live a simple life, given the velocity that life careens through the cosmos these days? A life that gives you room to breathe and ultimately to live life on your own terms. Not necessarily life as the result of ditching everything and living off-grid in a self-hewed cabin in the wilderness of northern Ontario, but a life regardless of where you are, that in all intense purposes is “simple.”
How many of us are desperately seeking this kind of quiet change? A major hurdle to overcoming this pilgrimage of living “simple” is the concept of “living simpler”. Sadly, this is pretty much polar opposite to the world as we know it.
This comes as no huge shock, but we live a crazy, and insanely busy time.
What defies logic is; although we bemoan and complain about how insane it all is, when we flip the coin over we find ourselves glorifying busy and all the insaneness.
We extoll with our friends and colleagues on how many hours we can work. All of which goes hand in hand with how little sleep we need to work all those hours. At the expense of friends, family and relationships in general, we glue our noses to computer screens or our smartphones, using each precious second we can find. We become addicted to the “likes” and “comments” hoping they will inject a level of validation into what can be a somewhat superficial and sad commentary of our affairs.
Like sitting around a poker table, we raise the stakes higher and higher. We take on more commitments. Our jobs demand more and more of us, to produce greater outputs, meaning longer hours and even more commitments. We are driven to do more and, yes, buy more. Many people abuse themselves with drugs and/or alcohol in an out of control attempt to get distracted from the insaneness until they are anesthetized into dreamland and stressed beyond human comprehension.
Okay, that might be a stretch for some, but it certainly is the reality for many. But, granted it is tough.
Many of us were raised in environments where achievements and the pursuit of wanting more is hard-wired into our DNA. So, there is never enough and there is always more to be had. We push more and more to get further ahead. To be better than last year, striving for a better and more prestigious title at work. And always lurking out there somewhere, like a northern pike circling the shallow water for his next meal, is the lure of more money. We believe “money” to be the answer to all our troubles and strife. Believing that more money will buy us the peace, happiness and a simpler life we have so longed for.
What might happen though, if we decided to take a bit of side-step?
To strategically work on leaving the craziness and insaneness behind, and to go for a life that was much simpler in its complexity?
Is it even possible?
Let’s make the assumption that it is. If so, what might a less simple existence even look like?
Again, I’m not suggesting or promoting heading off to a northern Ontario wood-lot deep in the boreal forests anywhere north of Manitouwadge and hand whacking a tiny cabin together with nothing more than an axe, grit and determination. Although, if that’s what you think it takes, more power to you!
Like I do, most of us live in the real world and we have real-world commitments. It is those commitments that require us to live in the real world. The reality we see each day when we open the front door.
How can we be in this world (the crazy and insanely hectic one), but move towards living simpler? How to get out of the “race” and to step away from the busyness, whether self-imposed or not. How can I/we slow things down, while fulfilling our purpose, doing great work and living a wonderful life?
Creating and living a much simpler life is all about breathing.
Establishing space through cutting or scaling back gives you space to breathe.
Doing more and having more doesn’t lead to happiness and fulfillment. In fact, the opposite is true. It’s about finding joy in the simple things, and being content with solitude, quiet, contemplation and savoring the moment.
All of the stress, the irritations, the dissatisfaction, and disappointments; all the craziness and rushing around; we created all of it. So, whether you like it or not, we are our own worst enemy. Every one of those things we created in our own minds. We made those decisions and we created these with attachments in our heads. By letting go, we can relax and live more simply.
Get rid of “stuff.”
When we can get rid of “stuff” and become less attached, a couple of things can happen. If you sell some of the “tangible stuff”, you’ll have a bit of cash in your hand and most significantly, getting rid of clutter can result in these benefits:
Might as well blurt it out there – “social media is the scourge of today.” Okay, it might not be “the scourge of today,” but it rates right up there.
There is no getting around it, we are addicted to those little electronic devices. Our phone, Ipads, computers and all that they deliver – we can never get enough. We check our FB feeds to see how many likes did that post get. We upload a picture of our dinner on Instagram and then head over and update our life on Twitter. Each time we “just check for a second,” a wee tiny blast of dopamine let’s loose in our brains and we become more and more addicted.
For too many of us, it’s insanely hard to stop.
In search of making our lives simpler, cutting back on social media time is an excellent element in our quest. In checking to see who’s doing what and who said what, we waste time and energy. Sadly, we get stuck in a trap of comparing ourselves with “influencers” and others on social media, which over time can erode our confidence and takes away the power we have within us as individuals.
Less screen time equates to more breathing time and space.
How many feel that their lives and activities need to be complex. In that, complex equates to better. Often, that includes a cycle of “more complex and better” as time moves along. Yesterday’s complex and better doesn’t cut it today.
Striving towards a life that is simpler means looking inside of us, deep inside of us to discover those simple joys and activities in life.
For me, those include writing/blogging, reading and discovering new things; as well as the outdoors; including hiking and walking. Most importantly, spending time with Lynn, while she captures all of this with her photography skills and passion.
When we downsized our home after our daughter left for college, we gave more stuff away than I can remember. And when I say downsize I mean downsize… to a 700 square foot two bedroom home.
When our lives become focused on the simple things you love doing, life suddenly becomes simpler.
Less clutter; less stuff; less worry.
Most of us are not very clear about what we want. How many of us see a post on social media of something really neat or exciting and we become obsessed about doing whatever that was. Next thing you know, we find ourselves heading in a new and totally different direction.
When someone invites us out, we instantly say, yes. Why? Because we’re “yes people” or “people pleasers.” We simply cannot say no.
Because we can never say no, our lives and schedules get stretched to the breaking point. There’s never enough time left for the things that are most important to us.
No is not a bad word.
What if we worked really hard on those things in our existence that held the most and dearest value to us? Saying, “yes” to those things and “no” to the other stuff. If we knew what we wanted to create and the direction we want our lives to head in, we could say yes to these things, and no to everything else.
Saying no to more things would simplify our lives. No is not a bad word!
Have you ever just sat back and did nothing for a day? Just hung loose and did NOTHING. No need to feel that the day had been wasted if something had not been accomplished.
We all need idle time. Time built in to sit and watch the clouds drift by on a warm summer’s afternoon. A time that is free to do nothing.
Many people feel the need to have every waking moment filled with activities and the need to accomplish so much, each and every day. The reality is we need that “down time” to rejuvenate ourselves…..to meditate; to think; to reflect.
Having that time to do nothing and just “be you” helps to foster and create contentment with life.
When working towards achieving a simpler life, at some point along the way it will become clear to you which things in your life are no longer in alignment with your values.
Part of living more simply will help you identify those unnecessary aspects of your daily life. It might be less FB and social media time, or it might be areas in your life that need significant review and thought. This could be your job; friendships; where you live; belongings (getting rid of things) or anything else that just doesn’t line up with your simpler existence.
So, is it even possible?
Yes, it is possible and like much of life, it comes down to a decision. We are the only ones who can decide if we want our lives to be less hectic and more simple in existence.
It doesn’t mean packing up and living in a tiny cabin out in the hinterlands cut off from everything. It’s about making priorities; figuring out what we want our lives to look like and then acting on those things to accomplish it.
Something tells me that as time marches on, life will become more and more complex, with greater demands on our time. Perhaps now is your moment to re-evaluate where you are… where you’re headed. To start now and simplify your life to create something that gives you room to breathe and room to live!
I am so happy to be back doing a guest post series for Koral! Thank you so much for this chance.
I’m Stephanie from A Red Hair Girl. In January I wrote a post for Koral that gave you some background about my mental health issues. Then I went on to explain three ways I helped myself with my mental health.
First I admitted to myself I had a problem and that I needed help. Second I told a few people that I felt comfortable telling (my husband, my mom, sisters, and my OBGYN). And third I made the scary phone call to a therapist to get up an appointment. It is worth the read. I hope it will give you courage to seek out the help you need if you are struggling.
At the end of the post I mentioned I had a post about the things I have learned in therapy that have helped me. Welp, I had good intentions but I never got around to writing it… AHHH! I’m sorry!
I thought this mini-series would be the perfect chance for me to tell you about 4 things that I learned from my therapist. And tell you why they have helped me. I’m super excited!
So, let’s get right to it! This post is all about exercise! Here are 4 reasons why exercise is great for your mental health. I hope that by the time you are finished you are ready to get your sweat on.
Working Out Releases Our Feeling Good Endorphins
When we have our feeling good endorphins are flowing it just feels great. This is a natural way to get them going. So why wouldn’t we want to do that? My therapist always ask how my level of exercise. She doesn’t care how hard I’m going at it. She just wants me moving.
Even a walk around the block and kick start the good feeling endorphins. In fact if you exercise outside it can increase the amount of good feeling endorphins. That’s a double win! She tells me to get outside and talk a walk around the block sans kids if I’m feeling stressed, depressed or anxious. That isn’t always possible. But when I have, I come back refreshed.
Exercise Can Help Take Your Mind off Worries
When your brain has less to worry about your depression and anxiety will have less to feed it. When I’m working out it is harder for me to think about negative things. After a workout it is even hard to be negative. It’s all those good feeling endorphins. J
So if you exercise most days then you will have less time during those days to worry, which will help. Because the less you worry then the cycle of negative thoughts that help to feed your depression and anxiety will not be as present.
Exercise Can Help You Gain Confidence
What happens when you work out consistently? So many wonderful things! Among them is you will start to feel better about yourself. When you take the time to work out and do something that is hard you gain confidence.
You may start to lose weight or gain muscle. Your clothes may start to fit differently, a good different. People may start to give you complements. Or you may catch yourself in the mirror and think, WOW! All of these help you to gain confidence.
When you have more confidence you start to have a change in your thinking. For me, I become less depressed. Both of those things (being less depressed and gaining confidence) are very important to your mental health.
Working Out Can Help You Eat Better
If you are like me (and so many other people) then when you start to exercise consistently you may start to eat healthier. You may find yourself grabbing for an apple instead of crackers. The can of soda may not look as tasty as water.
When I am able to get myself out of bed and work out first thing in the morning I tend to make better eating choices all day long. Why wouldn’t I want to start my day off in that way?
Then when you start making better eating choices and continue to work out you will see a difference in your body. This will help you gain more confidence. See how many of these are intertwined? J
Some Tips and Tricks to Help You
Good luck my friends with exercising! It has helped me so much with my mental health and confidence. I know it can help you as well!
Happy working out!
“You can’t stress.” These were the words my mother said to me after her encounter with bowel blockage, shingles, and a seizure. They came after her mother passed away. My mother carried a lot on herself, including anger and resentment.
The word “can’t” in this sentence doesn’t imply “not allowed.” It implies that I am “not able to.”
So, what is someone who is not able to stress, doing writing a post about mental health? Well, that’s the question of the day, isn’t it?
I’m here to tell you what it feels like to not be able to stress.
I bet you’re thinking, “It would be so wonderful to not be able to stress. I can actually go on with my life, not caring about anything. I can let things slide right off of me, and let things happen the way that they are supposed to.”
You know what? You’re right. That’s exactly how I feel.
Do you know how hard that is, though? Watching people struggle, stress, be anxious and depressed? It’s not easy.
“It’s so hard to make ends meet. I’m broke before I even get paid,” a coworker might say to me. I stand there, motionless, trying not to blurt out the thoughts that run through my head. “Well, stop spending fifty dollars a week to get your nails done,” I think. But I slowly nod, speak a soft, “Hm,” and walk away.
Does this mean that I can’t relate to people? No. I can, actually. Growing up with a mother who deals with depression and stress, has allowed me to understand what goes through peoples’ minds when they are in these mental states. My mother is very open about how she feels and what she’s thinking. She always has been, even now. So when those that are around me, express these thoughts and feelings, I am able to understand that they feel a certain way, but I am not able to relate with the feeling itself. Which may make me seem cold and unsympathetic. I can come off like that, of course. In fact, I hardly ever have sympathy for anyone. Empathy, sure, but rarely sympathy.
So, what’s my secret for a no stress life? Do I meditate? Exercise? Stay away from any and all stressful situations? The answer is simply, no. Instead of meditating, I close my eyes and take a deep breath and let it out in a long, loud, forceful sigh, so that everyone around me knows exactly how I feel. I do listen to music, but it’s not soft. At all. In fact, it’s mostly heavy rock. I also don’t exercise. I do quite a bit of physical labor at my job, but on my off days, my butt is in my chair.
Do I lack the stress gene 5HTR2C? Are my chemical levels constantly balanced? Do I have the long long genotype called 5-HTTLPR?
Let’s face it, no one really knows what genes they have, do they? In fact, stress can actually change your genes.
To be honest, I don’t know why I can’t stress. Maybe because I grew up watching a mother stress over everything, every day of my life. Maybe it’s because I don’t want to. Maybe it’s because I walk into every situation I am faced with, with this in mind: if I stress, I am of no help. I won’t have a clear mind to make the right decisions, or say the right things. If I stress, I can’t help. If I can’t help, what good am I?
At the end of the day, all I know is I don’t have a worry bone in my body. Do I get sad? Yes, at least I still get sad. Do I wonder about the future? Of course, who doesn’t? But I don’t necessarily worry about anything.
The beautiful part about this is, people still confide in me. People still tell me about their worries and fears and struggles. Even though I have a difficult time relating to the physical feelings, and the thoughts, I still listen and learn. I am self aware to the point that I am able to put aside my cold, unsympathetic aura, and replace it with an empathetic one.
For those of you who are prone to stress, depression, anxiety, and others, please be patient with us non-worrying types. If we could worry about how we come off to people, we would. And please don’t think that if someone doesn’t worry, that they don’t understand. Because I do.
My mother almost died because of stress. She had a seizure because of stress. Every time she feels under the weather, she gets depressed. She was very angry when I was little and would cry to me almost every night and tell me how she was feeling. They say that one out of three people will get shingles in their lifetime. Mom has had it more than once. Mom had to have open heart surgery because, when she got so sick from stress that she weighed ninety pounds, her heart grew weak and she developed a prolapsed heart valve.
To those of you who endure the pain, I see you. I feel you. I will cry with you. I don’t care if I don’t understand what you’re feeling, but what you feel is real. That’s what I understand, and to me, that’s all that matters.
Your feelings matter.
Friday nights are usually spent in bed now with my iPad or now laptop working and reading. I’m perfectly okay with this. My Friday nights used to be going out and having fun or going to a bar with a friend or two. I’m glad, as I get older, that it’s died down a little bit. With so much life going on right now, this is what it needs to be.
I actually… after all these years of crap jobs… enjoy my current job. I like what I do and I like where it’s going. The people I’m meeting and the things I’m doing are all I could ever dream of. I legitimately love the things I do for work now, and that makes me happy.
Cut back two months ago, maybe a little bit more, and I was interviewing for this position I currently have — nervous as anything that I wasn’t going to get it, and nervous as anything that I would get it. I was kept waiting and waiting and almost a month went by. I started to get really apprehensive about everything knowing this is what I wanted and also… not what I wanted. I was terrified. If I got the position, I was going to have to move across the country — 2700 miles away from home. If I didn’t get it, I was going to be really upset that I wasn’t getting out of PA just yet.
July 28th. It was that Friday at 9 in the morning that I got that email from the hiring manager who said in the title “Please give me a call ASAP!!” Right there, with that title, I knew it was something great. I started crying almost as I walked away from my desk to go call her from my car and cell phone. I was offered the position; at nearly triple my salary. My managers at my current project already knew and kept it from me for a day. They had made arrangements for me to start that Tuesday with the company and new pay period — and I was already headed down to Virginia and DC that same week to do on boarding for the company and meet with the primary. I was a nervous wreck.
I was now the Social Media Marketing Specialist for the National Center for Telehealth and Tech (T2) project based out in Tacoma, Washington. I was an art director, content writer, image creator, blogger and head honcho for my social media content on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and LinkedIn.
With the position comes relocation, and the start of a new life with my partner and best friend. We’ve always wanted to go to the mountains — and away we go. I’m so excited to start my life out there. Even though I will be far from home, I know I’ll still get to see my mom and important people in my life with them coming out there, or with me going back to PA and NJ where my family and friends are. There’s so much excitement, however, I’m still scared to death. I’m not freaking out yet… but I know it’s coming one of these days. With being that far from my friends and family; it’s going to take some time getting used to. Yes, I’ll have my best friend with me and of course we will meet new people out there together. But it won’t be the same comfort we’re used to at first.
It’s September 15th today. September 16th if you want to get technical because it’s just passed midnight already. And we only have 70 days. 70 days until we make that drive across the country. 70 days until I don’t see my little kitties for close to 6 months. 70 days until we start our new life.
Everything will all work out fine, I’m sure of it.
It’s been awhile, hasn’t it? Welcome back to the world. It seems you’ve been missing for some time now and it just isn’t the same without you. Since you’ve left, there’s been numerous disasters including nuclear invasion and wars across the nation that could have used your help. But you were too busy, weren’t you? Too busy floating out there in space to give a care about your home. Too busy doing who knows with whoever will give you the time of day. Do you think it’s easy to save a planet without its hero? Do you think it’s easy – day to day life knowing that there is no one there to rescue you if something goes wrong?
We constantly live in fear because our world’s hero has gone missing.
But it’s okay – you’re back now, right? You’re here to stay? I should hope you would be. 1300 years gone with no one to care about us and all of a sudden the prodigal child of the Gods has returned without any notion of where he went and what he did this whole time? Please tell me how that makes sense. Tell me that you’ve been caught up in another world caring for their people and not just running away and hiding from everyone and everything. Tell me that you ran into some issues and had to defeat the monster that is the government on another planet and straighten them out before returning to us. Tell me that everything was okay for you and that you never did forget about us. We’ve missed the hero of our world. Was there another world so much better than ours that you decided to leave and not help us?
This nuclear fusion needs you. We need you. We can’t win this one without you anymore. We are burning and drowning at the same time. We tried calling out for help, but for 700 years with no such luck and our hero gone, we had no choice but to give up all hope and try to trust in each other. We are at war because we trusted in ourselves as a nation.
Was this a lesson?
Was this your way of telling your people that we need to be sufficient in our own actions and that you can’t – and won’t – be there all the time to help us? If this was a lesson or a test, well played. But now your people are dying. More than half of your world is gone, and you have the audacity to return and show no remorse?
What ails our hero?
What happened out there?