Tag Archives: old

Algebra Applies to the Clouds

“Algebra applies to the clouds, the radiance of the star benefits the rose–no thinker would dare to say that the perfume of the hawthorn is useless to the constellations. Who could ever calculate the path of a molecule? How do we know that the creations of worlds are not determined by falling grains of sand? Who can understand the reciprocal ebb and flow of the infinitely great and the infinitely small, the echoing of causes in the abyss of being and the avalanches of creation? A mite has value; the small is great, the great is small. All is balanced in necessity; frightening vision for the mind. There are marvelous relations between beings and things, in this inexhaustible whole, from sun to grub, there is no scorn, each needs the other. Light does not carry terrestrial perfumes into the azure depths without knowing what it does with them; night distributes the stellar essence to the sleeping plants. Every bird that flies has the thread of the infinite in its claw. Germination includes the hatching of a meteor and the tap of a swallow’s beak breaking the egg, and it guides the birth of the earthworm, and the advent of Socrates. Where the telescope ends, the microscope begins. Which of the two has a greater view? Choose. A bit of mold is a pleiad of flowers; a nebula is an anthill of stars. The same promiscuity, and still more wonderful, between the things of the intellect and material things. Elements and principles are mingled, combined, espoused, multiplied one by another, to the point that the material world, and the moral world are brought into the same light. Phenomena are perpetually folded back on themselves. In the vast cosmic changes, universal life comes and goes in unknown quantities, rolling everything up in the invisible mystery of the emanations, using everything, losing no dream from any single sleep, sowing a microscopic animal here, crumbling a star there, oscillating and gyrating, making a force of light, and an element of thought, disseminated and indivisible dissolving all, that geometric point, the self; reducing everything to the soul-atom; making everything blossom into God; entangling from the highest to the lowest, all activities in the obscurity of a dizzying mechanism, linking the flight of an insect to the movement of the earth, subordinating–who knows, if only by the identity of the law–the evolutions of the comet in the firmament to the circling of the protozoa in the drop of water. A machine made of mind. Enormous gearing, whose first motor is the gnat, and whose last is the zodiac.”
― Victor Hugo, Les Misérables

I recently found this quote from Les Misérables and I forgot how incredibly amazing of a writer Victor Hugo really was. Knowing the story in and out and seeing it on Broadway more than enough times to count on two hands .. I love this. I’m not sure where my book went but I really want to get my hands on it again. I’m hoping I still have it .. somewhere really. If not I’ll find another and buy it online.

Anyway, today (Saturday) was fun. We went down to Centralia, WA. It’s nothing like Centralia, PA but it was a cute little town with a lot of antique shops and (best of all) frozen yogurt! A few bars and taverns and food places places in between and a breakfast place even right attached to the one antique mall. (Which actually turned out to be a hotel as well so that’s pretty cool also.)

I hate being lazy though. I waste my weekends and never get anything done and want to be more productive if I can. I have no ambition so I feel what he’s going through with not having a job. But still. We have things to get done and things we want to do and keep talking about doing but we just don’t do them. Then I’m mad/upset they’re not done. I really need some motivation in order to be domestic. And it sucksssss.

Any advice? Haha

xoxoxo

Koral Dawn

EST 2010

So I came to realize something this morning – I’ve had my blog now since 2010 and it’s really made an impact on me. Now, it wasn’t always hosted here at WordPress – I used to have Blogger before I transferred everything over to WordPress for 2 years – but I’ve been with WordPress itself since 2012.

In that time I’ve published 163 blogs.

163! That’s amazing! I had no idea I had that many here on the site. I know a few are old, some have been taken off for security reasons and background checks for my new job with the government etc. But damn that’s a lot! And for that I’m quite proud of myself.

I’m teaching myself to use Canva currently for work and made this quick little design for you all to enjoy. Yay for writing so much and keeping you 223 followers entertained enough to stay following me. And as my promise to you, I’ll post more often and make more designs for everyone and maybe even get into the #FreebieFriday posts for printing that I see so many people do that I use all the time.

The Unsanity - Blog

Enjoy!

xoxo

Koral Dawn

 

 

My Life In 5 Years

Picture it: Huge cactus next to the back porch, dirt for a driveway. Over-hang on the front of the door with an attractive bistro table set up. Community pool staring you in the face every day as you sit in the front of your house. You wander inside for a mixed drink from your mini bar that you made the night before and had extra of. Grab your favorite book and wide brimmed hat and head back outside to wait for your friend to get home. Putting your headphones in, you get a call from someone back home wondering how you are, and where you’ve gone. You tell them not to worry and that you’re living your life to the fullest where you should have been in the first place. You tell them that they should make a journey to visit or that they should get with the times and video chat you so you can show them everything you’ve accomplished the last few years. You tell them, “Sometimes you need to leave everything behind to start the next chapter in your life to experience new horizons.” It’s been a few years since you’ve been back home, and part of you feels no repentance for leaving everything you left behind. While you miss your family and friends back there, especially your mother and grandparents, there’s no other way you’d have wanted to spend your early 30’s than adventuring out west.

Cut back to a few years ago at 27 Years Old – you decide to tell everyone that you’re out. Done and gone with everything and everyone on the east coast and are in search of adventure. You’re in search of a job you love and a place you can call home. It’s the end of the summer and you’re not ready for it to be cold again over in the PA Mountains. You just want dirt and sun and some Death Valley vibes. You’re determined to do this on your own, and if anyone should follow, then you’ll at least have some company. At the time of commencement, you’ve found no one to adventure with you, but you’re still determined to leave it all behind and go forth with the new adventure that is your life. Different climate, different time zone and different people all around you. Maybe you’ll meet someone great out there and learn to grow as a person. But of course, these are all maybes, as this is never guaranteed.

You’ll throw everything out you own and make everything new when you get out there. Your mom will fly out there to meet you with your precious kitties so they too can have a better life. They wouldn’t like the car ride, and you’ll have to take your car out there with you, of course – so you can get to your new job as an Internet Brand Ambassador. The only thing you’d need to send out there for certain is the mattress you have that you love so much. If IKEA is a thing out there, that I’ve now confirmed that there is one out there, that’s where you’ll go to revamp everything in the apartment, including a mini bar for wine like you’ve always wanted.

Things can only go up from here, right? You’ve put up with so much the last few years – from dating someone who you almost firmly believe is gay, to moving all around and being stood up by people who you thought were your friends and now staying at a job you hate because you need to be able to afford to live and have a place to call home. When do things get better? When do things get easier for someone who struggles daily? When is your break? Your break comes when you are ready. Your break comes when you stand up and tell yourself you’ve had enough and you need a change. Break up with that person who wasn’t making you happy. Worry about yourself and not what others do. If they don’t give you the time of day – they’re not your friend and never were to begin with. Get rid of those folks in your life that don’t benefit you in every single way that you need them to. You’re who matters in this life, not anyone else that is not beneficial to your life. It’s time to do you – and it’s time to move to a new location, with new everything to start over. Every now and then it just has to be done. 

Time with yourself is the most treasured time there is – and that time is now. 

XOXOX

Koral Dawn

Hush Now Don’t You Cry

Hush now don’t cry… wipe away the teardrop from your eye. You’re lying safe in bed… It was all a bad dream spinning in your head. Your mind tricked you to feel the pain of someone close to you leaving the game of life. So here it is, another chance- wide awake you face the day. Your dream is over… Or has it just begun?

I’m listening to one of my favorite songs right now – Silent Lucidity by Queensryche. I don’t know why I love it so much but anytime I hear it it makes me think of some Opeth and I like to sway back and forth to the beat. It comforts me I think and that’s something I don’t have often. Today was interesting. I went to work and was bored most of the day and then went to the gym after with an old friend. It was actually lots of fun and a good time I needed out I think. I usually go to the gym alone.. but it was nice to have someone there to talk to for once. I’m not good with meeting people online or in person for that matter.. and well I feel better talking online for some reason at first. But I haven’t seen him in ages and it was a good time tonight.

On that note, I’m back on the gym kick. I figure if I have to pay for it for a year I might as well use it and try and lose some weight finally for once since I’ve been saying that I’m going to for weeks now. It’s just a matter of eating right and eating good.. that’s always my problem. I can go to the gym every day of the week if I wanted to. But when it comes to eating better I suck at it sadly. I need someone to kick my butt into gear to eat right for once. I’m so used to eating everything I wanted to and not gaining weight at all because of the Mono I had in my body and now my metabolism is catching up to me from the last 10 years and making me not lose any weight at all. I don’t like being the way I am when I gained like 30 pounds in a year and a half two years now. It sucks and everything I used to like and wear doesn’t fit me anymore and it’s real disheartening.

I’ve had more time lately to write, obviously, since I don’t do too much anymore. I don’t have a boyfriend anymore, I have more time for me and well.. I’m not sure if I like it or not to be honest. It makes me think and that’s the last thing I like to do is to think. Then I get all these crazy ideas and stuff. I’m trying to go out there and meet new people and go to the gym more.. and take myself on “me” dates and relax a lot more. I think I’m too .. used to being around people and never really focused on myself and what I want to do in life. Now I have the chance to do that for once for awhile and I’m going to start doing that. Whether that means finding a job I like and want to stick with or moving to find said job.. you never know what might happen now. I’m not attached to anything here really and I’m not going to let anyone stop me at this point.

I want to start living and traveling and relaxing and taking care of me. This time next year I could have the job I always wanted or be living in another state or even country… I’ve always wanted to do something crazy; I just need to figure out how to incorporate the cats into my life. Maybe it’s time I rented that RV and packed up what I needed sold the rest and went on my way. I think about that a lot obviously.. as it’s been in my most recent blog posts multiple times. I think I really do need to leave the valley and start doing what I really want to do. No that doesn’t mean I’m coming home family.. as much as you want me to. I need to do me, and that’s not at home unfortunately. (Sorry mom, but you should come with me anyway and do something spontaneous.) And how ironic … Iron Maiden Run To The Hills just came on my music.. so fitting I think.

I’m pretty sure my roommates can hear me singing because I’ve been blasting some 80’s hits now and old school music and singing along and I have headphones in.. oops. I have no shame anymore I don’t care I’ll sing all the 80’s tunes that my heart desires. I don’t get to do that enough really.. and I need to get it out of my system everyonce in awhile. HEAVEN ISNT TOO FAR AWAYYYY. CLOSER TO IT EVERY DAY. NO MATTER WHAT YOUR FRIENDS MIGHT SAYYYY; WE’LL FIND OUR WAY. YEEAHHH.  There that’s my little shit for the night right there. Let’s see if you know what song that is and who it’s by. 10 cookies to anyone who can name that song and if you don’t know it without looking up the lyrics.. I don’t know you anymore. Seriously. Know your anthems damnit. /rant on 80’s tunes.

I really didn’t have a purpose for this entry today – I just wanted something to do I think before going to bed. And I’ve been sitting here listening to 80’s jams now after Iron Maiden came on and I put on the 80’s Love Station on Apple Music. Well then, this brings back so many memories and I love it. I’m going to sit here and keep jamming out to 80’s love ballads and sing them till I sleep. If you cant put up with that then well, I’m sorry. You’re gonna have to. Btw, Nobody’s Fool is on right now. Name that band.

In honor of 80’s Here’s a throwback photo from College Koral

25 Things To Do

I’ve come to realize that I’ll be 25 in less than 2 months… And I haven’t done enough of these.
Who is going to help me do these that I have left (the ones that require people at least…)

1. Make peace with your parents. Whether you finally recognize that they actually have your best interests in mind or you forgive them for being flawed human beings, you can’t happily enter adulthood with that familial brand of resentment.

2. Kiss someone you think is out of your league; kiss models and med students and entrepreneurs with part-time lives in Dubai and don’t worry about if they’re going to call you afterward.

3. Minimize your passivity.

4. Work a service job to gain some understanding of how tipping works, how to keep your cool around assholes, how a few kind words can change someone’s day.

5. Recognize freedom as a 5:30 a.m. trip to the diner with a bunch of strangers you’ve just met.

6. Try not to beat yourself up over having obtained a ‘useless’ Bachelor’s Degree. Debt is hell, and things didn’t pan out quite like you expected, but you did get to go to college, and having a degree isn’t the worst thing in the world to have. We will figure this mess out, I think, probably; the point is you’re not worth less just because there hasn’t been an immediate pay off for going to school. Be patient, work with what you have, and remember that a lot of us are in this together.

7. If you’re employed in any capacity, open a savings account. You never know when you might be unemployed or in desperate need of getting away for a few days. Even $10 a week is $520 more a year than you would’ve had otherwise.

8. Make a habit of going outside, enjoying the light, relearning your friends, forgetting the internet.

9. Go on a 4-day, brunch-fueled bender.

10. Start a relationship with your crush by telling them that you want them. Directly. Like, look them in the face and say it to them. Say, I want you. I want to be with you.

11. Learn to say ‘no’ — to yourself. Don’t keep wearing high heels if you hate them; don’t keep smoking if you’re disgusted by the way you smell the morning after; stop wasting entire days on your couch if you’re going to complain about missing the sun.

12. Take time to revisit the places that made you who you are: the apartment you grew up in, your middle school, your hometown. These places may or may not be here forever; you definitely won’t be.

13. Find a hobby that makes being alone feel lovely and empowering and like something to look forward to.

14. Think you know yourself until you meet someone better than you.

15. Forget who you are, what your priorities are, and how a person should be.

16. Identify your fears and instead of letting them dictate your every move, find and talk to people who have overcome them. Don’t settle for experiencing .000002% of what the world has to offer because you’re afraid of getting on a plane.

17. Make a habit of cleaning up and letting go. Just because it fit at one point doesn’t mean you need to keep it forever — whether ‘it’ is your favorite pair of pants or your ex.

18. Stop hating yourself.

19. Go out and watch that movie, read that book, listen to that band you already lied about watching, reading, listening to.

20. Take advantage of health insurance while you have it.

21. Make a habit of telling people how you feel, whether it means writing a gushing fan-girl email to someone whose work you love or telling your boss why you deserve a raise.

22. Date someone who says, “I love you” first.

23. Leave the country under the premise of “finding yourself.” This will be unsuccessful. Places do not change people. Instead, do a lot of solo drinking, read a lot of books, have sex in dirty hostels, and come home when you start to miss it.

24. Suck it up and buy a Macbook Pro.

25. Quit that job that’s making you miserable, end the relationship that makes you act like a lunatic, lose the friend whose sole purpose in life is making you feel like you’re perpetually on the verge of vomiting. You’re young, you’re resilient, there are other jobs and relationships and friends if you’re patient and open.

Source: Lexietomtom.tumblr.com

Number 23 might be a little hard to do in 2 months… But that will be done by the time I’m 30 then.

More later, of course.

Cheers,
xoxox

||KoralDawn||

Psych: The Musical *SPOILERS*

Psych - Season 7

I am currently sitting here watching Psych The Musical’s Premiere on USA Network Television. Now, I love Psych, don’t get me wrong at all, but I already see a problem with it. Shawn’s lip-syncing most of it and there’s a voice over. At least with Gus you can’t really tell from the opening. I don’t think it’s my TV as so much as the source it’s playing from. I could be wrong, and don’t take my word for it. But from that opening scene, it seems like the whole thing is just streamed in the background.

So far this is interesting to watch. Psych haven’t been on the TV in quite sometime, and I was almost forgetting it was existing. This one, however, is a good plot so far because it is about a Playwright and looking for actors/singers. I love Broadway and most Musicals that you can find on video and on Broadway.

Low and Behold… look who makes an appearance.. Anthony Rapp. Who does Anthony Rapp play on a musical on film… none other than Mark in the musical RENT. I knew his voice as soon as it hit the screen and saw his face. He is an amazing singer and his performance in RENT was beyond top-notch for me.

My my, Carlton’s voice is quite interesting if you ask me. (If it’s really his!) He has a nice deep voice. I quite admire it if I do say so myself. Jules, on the other hand, I do not believe she should sing. She has a more soft voice and it doesn’t mix well with Carlton’s voice and Shawn’s. 

Of course, Ally Sheedy has to make her appearance back on Psych The Musical. She is back as her character, Mr. Yang. Her character was a psycho killer in three previous episodes of Psych. Her character in Psych is one of many I do enjoy. On a side note: Gus’ next line is the one that makes me smile the most: “I sell the drugs that keep you people from seeing dragons at night.” Her standing there with balloons on the middle of the stage is kind of creepy if you ask me. She does bring some color to the stage there in this scene, if you ask me. “Lassie, stop it!”

Alright, now, at least this time when Jules sings, it seems like she’s actually singing while she’s dancing. Gus, is quite the dancer! Which makes sense, because he HAS been on Broadway before and enjoys the theatre as much as I do. “That’s it, Gi-gantor, lock her back up!”

Barry Bostwick makes an appearance in this episode. He was in The Rocky Horror Picture Show back in 1975 as Brad Majors- A Hero (according to IMDB) He’s also set to play in the new Scorpion King coming out in 2014.

“It’s like calling yourself Jean Claude Van Damnit.” 

Some very nice Phantom of the Opera music played when someone falls from the catwalk in the next scene when they are looking for Miles. The actor cast as the “Inspector” in the play The Ripper, had stated that he just saw him going up the catwalk… cliche scream, and someone drops from the ceiling. *Cue Phantom Music* Very nicely done, but predictable.

Woody, Kurt Fuller is amazing in this. He’s great for the part in this series, but has a very different one in Supernatural. He plays a badass character in Supernatural, and in Psych, he is a hilarious heart-felt humorous guy who you’d never think would be an angel in a hardcore series. Two very different roles, but he’s amazing at both of them. Brooke Lyons appears in this show as well. She plays Elisa, the actor who was not invited back to this show from the previous one. Brooke also played in 2 Broke Girls for a short time, the TV series.

Shawn jumping through a pane of glass had him let out probably the funniest little shriek I’ve ever heard from him. (“Did you hear about Pluto? That’s messed up right?” Gus always has the best one liners in this show. I hope that’s how he is in real life.) The moment they all leave the car… Mr. Yang (Sheedy) of course, escapes. Just what they needed, right? Who thinks she has a hand in this mystery again? I do wish she would be a good person. I think she deserves it, even though she’s in the mental institution… all people deserve a second chance.. no?

Shawn sneaking out of the police office is great. Mister Yang Skype calls Shawn in the middle of the Police briefing and Shawn proceeds to teach her a dance through Skype with Carlton staring at him through a window. Sneaking back in was no surprise either.. he steals Gus to teach her more through Skype. She gives them one bit of info, and then hangs up. Typical Mister Yang… don’t you think? Drinking juice boxes in the mental hospital ward… classy boys, classy.

“You’re a good-looking man when you’re humble.” -Carlton. Man, he is just blowing it out of the park with his voice in this so far, if that really is his voice. I think he should get into singing on Broadway as well, like Gus. Karen’s got a nice solid voice that I can also be seeing on more film in the future. That makes me happy, I was waiting for her to sing. This must have taken a lot of time to put together, all this dancing and choreography that they put into this, i can understand why it was put off until the middle of December, haha. The small little dances in this just seems like it can take months for them to perfect and not laugh during the filming.

The four of them make a great team. Yes, let’s shout at the killer and make him run off. Of course he was there the night of the fire! Where do you think he was going to be while his play was running, sitting at home twiddling his thumbs? I think not! He’s going to be there. (I don’t think Armitage is the killer, but you never know; have to go with the story line.)

Turns out… he’s just a crappy husband. 

Oh joy, leave it to Mister Yang to call Shawn in the middle of his dad’s house.. Way to go dad, just hang up on the girl why don’t you? Let’s go look for the guy who’s killing everyone now, why don’t we? Wow, this guy really is insane… I LOVE IT. … All the while that Gus is trying to get a part in the musical that they are making.. and is not succeeding at all.

Ahh, leave it to Mister Yang… aka Sheedy. Man, can Gus take any longer to run down those stairs? Poor Shawn is standing there dangling by his neck and he’s trying to help him… but he’s taking his sweet old-time it seems like.. Let’s sing her a song.. “Wang, yeah, wang, I like Wang.” -Gus

They’re just getting everything wrong in this one… I wonder who the real killer is.. Now I’m not going to give the ending away, but it ends with a very nice song sung by Shawn while playing the inspector on stage at the play! “Blood will spill, so please come running.”

*That awkward moment when Gus starts tapping on stage to improvise during the show..*

With the end just here, you all need to o and watch it. I told you everything you need to know to be suspicious about who the killer is.. I’M MAKING YOU ALL GO WATCH IT!

NEW SEASON OF PSYCH PREMIERES JANUARY 8TH! WHO’S EXCITED?!

||KoralDawn||

Realization, Friendship and Anything In Between

You always told me to “blog about my feelings instead of bitching” well, here you go. 

So going back through whatever happened the last night or two in my head… I don’t know what to think anymore. And if you want listen tome otherwise, maybe you’ll listen here and actually give me an answer. Everyone always winds up leaving me in my life. All my guy friends, all my girl friends… except for maybe three; You, Sam and Vanessa. I guess I never really knew how to be your friend after dating you because there was always room for either error or change, but even maybe hope. I hung on to the fact that we might eventually work out one day… I guess I was wrong. I guess I was too hung up on the fact that I had such strong feelings for you, that maybe one day you’ll return them to me again like it was in the beginning. Again… I guess I was wrong. Last night, alot of things were said to me that hurt my feelings, and of course that’s what’s going to stick out in my mind and be on the top of my head, because I’ve never been called “psychotic” or a “cunt” or even maybe a “bitch” by anyone else, or maybe it’s just because no one else ever had the balls to say it to my face… who knows really anymore.. But more importantly; I was told I was being a bad friend, and that I didn’t know HOW to really be a friend to you. And for that; I’m sorry. You said that I deserve to have that one friend by my side… and I thought  you were going to be and still be that friend to me… that I’m so used to everyone walking away from me that I don’t know what to do when someone actually stays… well you’re right. You finally did it. You decided to actually break me down, in half, and tell me what was wrong with me. I guess I should be thanking you in a way. Because I now know what I have to do to change, or to be “Koral” again as you say. I guess my downfall would be that I am way too nice to everyone and I always get taken advantage of, not just with you, but with everyone. I let them walk all over me; and then when I need help… I don’t get anything in return. I am a doormat for dirty feet who’s there to help but never be helped. While it took me just about an hour to write this because my hand hurts to move much; I’m realizing that maybe I don’t want to lose you as a friend, but that maybe people change and things happen and some people just don’t click well anymore together… I don’t want to be those people anymore. I want to be friends, and I want to be happy. I’m sitting here at work basically bawling my eyes out having everyone wonder what the fuck is wrong with me… That’s not good for work, and it’s not good for me. I haven;t been right in the head since last night. I didn’t expect you to be all cheery and happy 8 hours later; but you didn’t have to go around acting like absolutely nothing happened last night. I didn’t ignore everything you said to me last night, it actually did sink in to me that wow, I really am a shitty friend to you and possibly to some other people.. but then when I ask for what it is I can do… you just yell at me. There has to be something in your head that I can do otherwise you wouldn’t have yelled. If you’re sick of me… then just say it. I won’t be any more hurt than I already am. I know I’m a bad friend to you. I know I’m a bad friend to possibly some others… I’m not used to having “friends” because no one ever stays.

I guess all that’s left is to just… change. Be a good friend, stay out of your life like you want me to, be a normal friend, and not a best friend like you’ve been to me. I’m not a part of your life, atleast that’s what you keep telling me over and over, I’m just a friend. Just. A. Friend. And you know what; I guess I’m okay with that. I need to learn how to be a friend again, and learn how to accept friends and not be such a “bitch.” I guess I just don’t, in the end, want to lose you. You’re one of the only people I have whether you believe that or not… and I can’t lose another person in my life like my dad and rest of family. 

Take this however you want to take it… just know I’m sorry and you don’t deserve how shitty I’ve been.