Tag Archives: planning

The Late Goodbye

Picture it: you just got engaged and you’re planning who to be in the wedding with you and stand by your side just like in all aspects in life. You send out your boxes for them to say I do as well. Now, to remind you, these are the four only people over the years that have been there for you and hung out and made sacrifies to be with you and vice versa. Now picture this: only two of them show up. That’s what happened to me, and it turned my wedding planning and day itself into hell. Here is the story of a 14 year old and a 15 year old friendship that disappeared as quickly as you can say I do.

Two of my oldest friends, we’ll call them X and Y for story purposes, skipped out on the most important day of my life after being inseperable for 14 and 15 years.

One of them, we’ll call her X, just never even responded to my inquiry of my proposal box asking her if she’d be in my wedding. Mind you, I had been talking about it since I was engaged, and she knew it was coming all along, then decided to not talk to me for a few weeks, and never got an answer, so I eliminated her because I can’t count on someone when they don’t even appreciate your offer of knowing you were “best friends.” This was the easier of the two, thankfully and unfortunately. I have not spoken to her since either. No messages, no updates, nothing. It’s truly heartbreaking.

The other, she will be Y, bailed the day OF my wedding. Great, right?

The planning was a nightmare from day one. A little back story, I didn’t pick a Maid of Honor for my wedding because it was a small private ceremony with only friends and our mothers and photographers. Y was obviously annoyed I didn’t choose her, however, she was never the one to care about other people before herself, and I knew this when I met her when I was 14 years old. She was fighting on everything I wanted to pick for my wedding (note: MY wedding) even down to the little black shawl I wanted to wear over my dress at the top because my dress was strapless. I have bigger arms, and wanted them to be covered a little. “That glittery shawl doesn’t go and hangs way too low in the back and doesn’t match your hair and what you want to do.” Really? I let it slide.

Planning festivities for the night before – “I don’t want to go bowling, that’s not bachelorette party type stuff!” Okay, so don’t go, but again, repeat, it’s MY wedding and this is what I want to do for my night before and I don’t want to get drunk at all. We can enjoy wine at the hotel (which my two best friends and I did) after the restaurant we went to. “Wait, we’re going to a restaurant? Can my boyfriend come?” My reply to her was simple, stating yes but he needs to sit at the bar because this dinner is for people in the wedding party only and our mothers. No one else is bringing their significant other to this dinner, it’s just going to be us.” Her answer was what really got me: “Oh, well then better make the dinner for 9 people because I’m not letting or making him sit alone.”

Y never showed the next day. She never messaged me. She never was in the party. All because I told her the dinner was for wedding party only and this is what I wanted for my big day.

And this was the day, the day before my wedding, I finally realized that she was never my best friend all along. She was only my friend when it was convenient for her, and fit into her schedule. She had bought the dress, bought items for the night before for the little hotel party we were planning, and all the accessories. And wasted her money because she never showed.

She always put whatever boy she was with first, and never her friends who stood by her side through everything. Since I was 14 years old, we were together daily at camp, and then after camp at her house and on weekends because she lived so close. I will be 30 this year… and it took me 15 years to realize this I guess. Better late than never in my mind, but what a way to make your wedding day alternatitely the best and worst day of your life.

Now, the two girls who took the reins and planned everything with my mom, they’re who are worth fighting for. They are my rock, they are my best friends, and they are the people who are going to be there for me when I need them most – and they have been. Neither of them stopped texting or calling me while I was living across the country for a year and a half like X and Y did, they kept in touch, and wanted to. They are my support system and who I need by my side.

Sometimes it takes an act of disgust, unreliability and pure heartbreak to truly know who your best friends are, and it’s just unfortunate that this had to happen on my wedding day. I will never be sad about losing people that I now know never cared; I will be sad about all the years I wasted thinking they would never break my heart – and my family’s heart as well.

When you lose a best friend, you learn some hard lessons. Like everything and everyone else, people change. My happiness is important to me – it should be to them as well. If this what was supposed to happen, then so be it. Thanks to them, I feel I’m a better person and have a weight lifted off my shoulders I’ve had on there for way too long. I’m not bitter, and I’m not mad – and I won’t ever be for letting go of something that freed my soul.

The devil grins from ear to ear when he sees the hand he’s dealt us. Points at your flaming hair, and then we’re playing hide and seek. I can’t breathe easy here, less our trail’s gone cold behind us. Till’ in the john mirror you stare at yourself grown old and weak; And we keep driving into the night. It’s a late goodbye, such a late goodbye…

Late Goodbye, Poets of the Fall

Eight Ways to Manage Holiday Stress – Erin Misenar

Hello Friends.  Let me introduce myself. My name is Erin Misenar.  I am a life coach, a former educator, and a single mom of four kids.  I enjoy watching my kids compete in sports and a nice scented candle.  I love to share easier ways to get through life.  I blog over at www.erinmisenar.com and my instagram handle is @4monkeysss.  Here’s to a great new season ahead!

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The holidays have a large amount of stress.  Whether it is worry, overeating, being tired, not sleeping, or mood swings – everyone has some amount of stress.  We need to manage this stress in a way that we can control.  So, here are some great ideas in order to make this the best holiday season yet!

Realistic Expectations Our culture makes the holiday season into a joyous occasion.  However, sometimes it doesn’t feel that way.  The holidays shows (and I admit I am a Hallmark movie junkie) portray an illusion that is not real life.  Go into the season with an expectation that it will fulfill.  If you think this is a bad year because of loss of love, or sadness, don’t think this will be the best year you have.  Be kind to yourself and the idea of what the holiday brings.  It is ok if you just survive this time of year.

Do not do more than you can handle You do not have to be the one in charge.  You do not have to be the one who cooks 3 dozen cookies.  You don’t have to give gifts to everyone you have ever met.  If you can’t bring yourself to decorate over the top – do not do it!  Don’t volunteer for everything this season.  Take care to only do what you think is appropriate.  Saying no is really saying yes to yourself and your sanity.  I like to answer, “No thanks. I’m sure someone else would love the opportunity.”  You do not have to give an explanation to anyone about your choices.  You control you.

Make a List of What is Important If you take the time to make a list of what you want to accomplish this holiday season – do that and stick to the list.  This list should not be one that overwhelms you. If it contains only a few items of what you need to do – stick to that.

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Don’t Compare It is so difficult to compare your life to those around you – especially with all the social media.  Do not compare your life to someone else’s.  You never know what they are experiencing on a daily basis.  Don’t feel bad because the photos seem perfect – the fact is that is not how life is. Life is messy.

Spread some cheer If you have the time, it is a great time to volunteer. Or mail a letter to a friend who helped you.  Drop off a small gift to a surprise house.  Donate a toy to the children’s hospital. Drop off cat food at your local shelter.  Do what is easy but it will make you feel better.  I love anonymous donations.  Or pay for the car behind you in a drive thru.  Or just smile at those around you. Smiling will already make you feel better. Spread love all around you.

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Support If you need support, get it.  There is no shame in talking to someone – whether it is a counselor or life coach or friend.  Talk to someone and get the understanding and compassion for what you need.  Take care of yourself.

Make Time for Yourself You know I mentioned Hallmark movies earlier? I love them and usually watch them in my alone time for the holidays.  Take a bath or take a walk on your own.  Do what makes you happy and plan for that time.  Being divorced, I have more alone time than I usually want – but I fill that in on things that I enjoy.  Get a manicure if it makes you feel better.

Create New Memories If it is a new season in your life – maybe you want to create a different memories. Some old memories are sad.  So, start a new one.  Start a hot chocolate and talk event.  Go caroling.  Go out and see Christmas lights and vote on which you like best – we like to leave a gift of a chocolate bar and a note – you are the winner of the lights! – for fun.  Go enjoy something new.

Here’s to the Best Holiday Season Yet!!!

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Big thank you to Erin for sending over this blog for me to feature about holiday stress! It’s always great working with new people and helping each other out, especially around this time of year. Look for my blog featured on hers as well about your Sunday Morning Classic Rock Playlist. If interested in guest blogging in the future with me, please email me on my contact me page, or visit my Instagram and send me a DM. Thanks!

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Me First – Elaine Gallagher

We are so accustomed to doing things for others without a second thought, but when it comes to ourselves we just keep putting it off.  That was me my whole life until I started to feel walls closing in and realizing I needed to make some positive changes.  I had gained weight, stopped exercising and had gotten into some unhealthy habits.

So I decided to change.  First of all, I started a new healthy eating regimen, after my doctor told me I needed to even though I was on cholesterol meds, because of my family history of heart problems, I decided to listen to his advice.  This coupled with the fact that my daughter was getting married and I wanted to look and feel beautiful that day.  So my new journey began….

First, I started cleaning my eating completely.  No more junk or processed foods.  It meant more planning of meals.  This was also going to benefit my husband, who has some health issues, to eat healthier.  Food shopping took longer but included lists of recipes and foods to include.  I looked for high-protein, low carb foods to infuse my diet with color and taste.  I scanned Pinterest daily for new recipes to cook fish, some new vegetables I discovered (butternut squash, escarole) and varieties of chicken recipes to get rid of the “Oh not chicken again” reaction to dinner.

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Next, along with a good friend, I checked out some exercise studios near me.  I started by going to use machines but felt as if I was bored and needed something more to keep me interested. We tried a few local places that offer a free class and finally found a place we now go to about four times a week.  I started enjoying yoga, piloxing, Zumba and triple fit programs.  And before you know it, the pounds came off and my confidence grew.  I am proud to say that I lost over 20 pounds and tightened up to looking spectacular at my daughter’s wedding if I can brag just a little bit.

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It would be the first and only brag of my life.  So now every day I push myself to remember how I felt that day and try to stick to my new plan.  Some days I do slip up (especially on vacation) but the trick is to not beat yourself up, but rather to remind yourself of your humanness and the need to work on ourselves every day.  It is a day to day journey.  Keep putting yourself first in your own life… you only get one to live so give it your all and reach for the stars.

Elaine Gallagher is an elementary educator and publishes a blog entitled HealthELiving.  Through this she has shared her journey to a healthier lifestyle. I just wanted to thank Elaine for contributing to my guest blogger showcase through February 2019. I keep getting more and more submissions in from amazing bloggers all over the world and I feel honored to share their stories. You can see the blog post I shared on Elaine’s blog here – my Classic Rock Sunday Morning Playlist. 

I Am The Wind

“When you’re dumb enough for long enough, you’re gonna meet someone too smart to love you, and they’re gonna love you anyway, and it’s gonna go so poorly.” – Neil Hilborn, Ballad of the Bruised Lung

Been awhile, life’s been crazy. I’ve been trying to find the time to keep writing but I just haven’t had any. I mean I have, but I’ve had no ideas really to make me want to write anything substantial in my opinion. It’s been a blur to be honest, I can’t believe a year has almost gone by since myself and guy started dating again.. and it makes me feel semi good, that I can make it better than the last time we dated since we both effed up the last time and several times after that. Seems like we can’t just get it right.. Maybe this time won’t be so bad… here’s to hoping!

I’ve taken some photos recently, with guy’s other camera the Sony a6000 and I like it. But I only like it with the 90mm Macro since it’s amazing. I kind of want it. But there’s no way I can afford the lenses for it. Yes, I can borrow his, but what’s that going to do for me should something happen with myself and him. I will never give up my Canon camera for something else. I would only add to it. I plan on trying to start a collection of some sorts and when I finally get a home, I will have a camera closet for all my things.

Here are a few shots of the Sony a6000 that I took just yesterday around Nanticoke, PA. 

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When you’re tired of waiting and time is not on your side
When you’re tired of hating me, you no longer want to hide

It’s time for another session of relaxation and tea bath before my roommates get home and take their long shower. I’ve been thankful enough to get to take some nice showers lately thankfully, and it’s helping my mood a lot surprisingly. *hand clap* Off I go because then I’m going to sleep forever tonight, maybe I’ll put my hair in curlers again. We’ll see since it seems to poof then I use them, lol!

Cheers,

xoxox

July 16, 2014

Good afternoon everyone.
Super boring day at work today- not doing much except planning out photoshoot ideas and costs to make some money.
Trying to make a little extra so I can put some away for spending on little things for now.  Here’s what I’ve come up with for now in terms of photoshoots and costs:

Mini Sessions — $60 Single Person
-up to one hour of shooting
-location of choice within 15/20 miles of wilkes barre pa
-all images edited and emailed to you with watermark. (Can be excluded for extra)
-prints available as well for extra

Children — $75
-up to 2 kids and 1 hour of shooting depending on ages and behavior
-location of choice within 15/20 miles of wilkes barre pa
-all images edited and emailed to you with watermark. (Can be excluded for extra)
-prints available as well for extra

Car Photos — $60
Only through the end of August
-up to one hour of shooting
-location of choice within 15/20 miles of wilkes barre pa
-all images edited and emailed to you with watermark. (Can be excluded for extra)
-prints available as well for extra

Couples/Engagement Photos — $125
-up to 2 hours of shooting and outfit change
-location of choice within 15/20 miles of wilkes barre pa
-all images edited and emailed to you with watermark. (Can be excluded for extra)
-prints available as well for extra

Parties/Events — $200
Depending on duration of event
Please email for more information on parties or events you’d like photographed.

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Please email me if you’d have something else you’d like photographed if it’s not listed here.

Koral.Novak@gmail.com

||Koral♡Dawn||