Tag Archives: problems

Holiday Stress – Mama Detox

Hey everyone! My name is Rebecca, better known as Mama D, the face of Mama Detox. I am a mother of 6 kids…three grown & on their own and three still at home. We have run the gamut of home schooling, public school and now the younger 3 are at a private Waldorf School. Years ago due to allergies starting in one of my daughters (I have 5) we began removing toxic substances from our life, not just with food, but in EVERY aspect of our life.

My goal at Mama Detox is to help families transform their toxic lives into happy lifestyles. Join us on our journey and start your own at www.mamadetox.com or follow us on Instagram, Pinterest or even on Facebook.

Does the thought of the upcoming holiday season send you into a panic? Are you stressed trying to get everything accomplished? Do your children send fighting and sibling rivalry to a whole new level during the holidays?
Breathe! Let Mama Detox help you reduce the toxic effect of holiday stress.

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Holiday stress is nothing new. I am sure we are all very familiar with it, not only in our own lives, but in the lives of our children. Being the unique individuals that we are, we tend to manifest stress in different ways, but yet the same. Adults often become irritable, grouchy, short-tempered, yelling, cutting others off…just downright rude. Children as well will get irritable, short-tempered, easily frustrated, grouchy and the temper tantrums, screaming fits, sibling fights, unkind words, even hitting, kicking and biting episodes become all to common during the holidays. Unfortunately the negative effects of stress go far deeper than the outward scenes we see, hear or initiate ourselves.

One of the first steps is to identify what are the triggers or situations that causes our stress level to rise? Is it hosting the big family meal at our house? Cooking for all of those people? How about the endless barrage of holiday party invites? Trying to find the perfect gift for everyone on our list? What about your children’s source of stress? Does visiting all of those seldom seen relatives strike fear in their little heart? To many late night parties upsetting their routine and sleep cycles? Excessive amounts of sugar? (watch for an upcoming post on the dangers of sugar) It could be that your stress is being passed onto them without you even realizing it. Children are extremely intuitive and can sense when you are upset/stressed. They may not be able to verbalize it or how it makes them feel, but they know that their normally calm, supportive safety net is not as strong as it should be. In a crazy, frenzied time of life children need that calm, peaceful, reassurance their parent normally provides even more than usual.

Now that you have identified the cause(s) of stress in you and your children it is time to find a way to limit the negativity it causes in your life. Often we as parents have very different view points from our children (or even our significant other) as to which holiday traditions are truly important or even enjoyable. If you and your partner have not had a recent discussion as to what is important to each of you during the holiday season, I encourage you to do so before things get crazy and before you know it another holiday has come and gone. Even if you hashed it all out earlier in your relationship, priorities change as we get older, what was once THE tradition for your partner may not even register with them now. Or perhaps you had sat down shortly before the birth of your oldest and decided how the holidays would play out, but now 4 kids later, trying to follow that same schedule is just madness. Take some time, go on a date and discuss it, make a list one evening after the kids are in bed, get up early one morning and plan it out over coffee together…but have a conversation and get on the same page. This one step alone may relieve more stress than you think.

Next, if your children are old enough, ask them which traditions are important to them. Which ones could they happily let go? Are there any new ones they may have seen/heard of that they would like to add? The answers may surprise you. Years ago, after my first husband and I separated, I sat down with my older three (the fourth was less than 2 yrs) and asked them what traditions they felt we should keep, which was the most important to them, where there any traditions they didn’t really care if we still did or not, and was there a tradition that they didn’t even like? Surprisingly one tradition that all 3 of them found stressful was receiving a yearly Christmas stuffed animal.  They all felt like because this was a “special” stuffed animal that they would have to keep it forever even if they didn’t want too. I was *SHOCKED*! My children did not want a toy? They were even stressed by thought of having to lug this animal around with them forever? Well, that was one tradition that as a newly single, strapped for cash, parent I was happy to get rid of!

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Point to the post: often sources of holiday stress are ones we bring upon ourselves. We *think* our partner/kids/family want tradition x, y, z, but in reality they could happily do with out it. So, have a discussion. Communicate with each other and let the de-stressing begin!

Check out my FREE 5 day mini course on Holiday Stress Busters!

Thanks Rebecca from Mama Detox for sharing this short and to the point Holiday Stress post with my Unsanity Readers! Remembering to communicate for the holiday season is important, even if (and especially if!) you need help or guidance along the way to de-stressing. It doesn’t get better unless you acknowledge there is stress to begin with.

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The Girl Who Waited

I’m posting this because I can relate to an extent, but not quite exactly. This was taken from another website, and it’s worth reading. Take the time to take this in, I know a lot of women like this.

There are very few people in the world who would wait for someone. I know this because very few have for me, and I’m sure far less have for you.

There are very few who would put their lives on hold for another human being, in hopes that the person would one day change and notice what they have in front of them.

Nonetheless, that’s exactly what I did for you.

You were my first real love. I know this because nothing ever compared. When we met, I didn’t want to give in, but when I finally did it was like nothing I ever felt.

We started strong, doing things we never thought we’d do for anyone else. I’d wonder how I ever got so lucky.

Every time we were together it was hard to leave, and when you’d drop me off, we’d spend hours together before I would finally go inside.

The days we didn’t see each other we’d count the hours until we did again, and we’d give in to days that we weren’t planning on seeing each other because we couldn’t handle it anymore.

I started to feel things I didn’t think possible, like jealousy or the need to be with someone every day, and that was scary. We were beautiful, not perfect, but beautiful.

Then it ended.

The weeks leading up to the end, your father passed and I felt your pain and grief. The mere fact that you were suffering had me suffering.

I wish I could take your pain because to me you weren’t someone who deserved to be sad. I wanted to make you happy at all costs, to have you never experience pain on my watch.

It was devastating for you to go through that, and even more so, considering you wanted to go through it without me.

The end was hard, but even when it ended, even when we broke up, it didn’t quite feel like the last time. The weeks following were harder.

I felt like someone punched my heart and it sank to my stomach. I was empty, like an important piece of me was missing, keeping me from feeling whole.

Still, you contacted me. Your pattern was every couple of days you would contact me. Like it was just enough to keep me around, just enough for you to still have me.

That gave me hope.

I stuck around. We took summer classes together, and we would have lunch whenever we could. It was the highlight of my summer.

Even if we weren’t officially together, it made me realize two things: We have this bond that still existed when we removed the relationship, and you are the absolute love of my life.

I can tell you anything, and you can tell me anything. It’s a bond in which, when we’re in our own little bubble, in are own crazy world that’s just us, nothing else matters and nothing else exists.

Reality struck me a few times that summer, but I still stuck around, not giving in to anyone else. You didn’t want a relationship.

You didn’t want anything so serious. You were not going to budge, but I still stuck around.

In my head, something so rare, something like what we had, some may never find. If they do, they are lucky to even have it once. It was worth fighting for. I would do anything to have it, to keep it.

You would tell me you loved me so much, but it was something you couldn’t do. You said you never pictured yourself ending up with anyone else, settling down with anyone else who isn’t me.

That was enough for me to stay.

You always said or gave me just enough for me to stay, and I did. I waited.

I waited until I was numb. I waited even after all the broken promises and false hopes and all the destruction. I waited after everyone would tell me how crazy I was and just to move on.

I waited even after all the times I said I wouldn’t wait anymore. Because you always apologized and always told me how much you loved me, how you could never bear to see me with anyone else.

I stuck around when I found out you were sleeping with other people while I was rejecting dates. The simple thought of someone else who wasn’t you touching me sent shivers down my spine.

Sitting down and thinking about it, I could finally put into words all the reasons I did stick around.

I waited for you because, even though you might not think so, you were someone worth waiting for.

Even when you don’t give yourself a lot of credit, you’re one of the nicest, most helpful and hardworking people I have ever met.

You cared about things that mattered like poverty and war and the universe. You challenged me in ways no one else ever did. I was drawn to you for those reasons.

I waited for you because I was hopeful you would keep your promises. When you would tell me she was someone temporary, that she meant nothing, that you just felt bad for her, I believed you.

I waited because if you kept me around, talked to me every day and still had sex with me regularly, it meant something, right?

I waited because to me, it didn’t matter what I was going through in the present; our future together would be perfect. I defended you with everyone because no one knew you like I did and vice versa.

I waited for you because I knew I would never feel this again with anyone else, and even if I did love again, I had already felt the greatest love I would find.

But waiting for you was literally like putting my hand in a fire. It was painful, but there’s always that rushing sensation you get from a burn.

It’s like I would get a rush, then get hit with a harsh reality and heal for several days. After the burn would heal, you would apologize and I would start the process all over again.

It was definitely an addiction, kind of like when you see an insect going toward a light. The light looks beautiful and vibrant and the mosquito can’t stay away, but in truth, going too close to the light will hurt.

That’s exactly what you were, what you are.

You were so beautiful and I wondered sometimes how something so beautiful could cause so much pain.

You were the only person I wanted to talk to in the morning when I woke up, at night when I went to sleep and in the middle of the day when I would go on my lunch break.

You were the first person I wanted to talk to when something good or bad happened. When I was having fun, you were the person I wished was there and the only person I wanted to share funny moments with.

You were the love of my life, and I waited because something as strong as that deserved a happy ending. I would have done anything for you, and I did do everything for you.

One day, you’ll wake up and realize you lost someone who waited.

Source: http://elitedaily.com/dating/to-wait-for-you/1102917/
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