Tag Archives: seasons

Finding Peace This Holiday Season – Michelle Smith

Today’s guest blogger on The Unsanity is a new friend of mine who has personally helped with my stress and anxiety at the House of Care in rural central PA at the hospital we both work at. Michelle is a very wise individual, promoting balance and reminding everyone in her life to take care of YOU. You are number one, and you need to find your inner peace this holiday season.

DSC01888

When I was a child, I did not understand why adults found the holiday season to be stressful. It was great. There were parties. There were family gatherings with presents. And the food was so yummy. There were trees to decorate, cookies to make, and maybe even some snow to play in. What in the world was stressful about these things?

Now that I am an adult and “life” has happened, I totally get it. When I was in my early twenties, my father died suddenly from a massive heart attack during the Christmas season. Each year, Christmas is a yearly reminder of my father’s physical absence. And, all those things that were so magical and enchanting as a child are now tasks to conquer on my list. Looking at that list can create stress and anxiety that can be difficult to manage.

Over the past decade of cultivating a yoga practice, I have come to realize that my practice is the doorway to finding peace during the holiday season and all year long. Yoga equips me with tools that help me find my true, higher, peaceful self. Yoga is so much more than a physical practice done in a studio. Yoga equips me with a set of tools that have a positive effect on my being.

Poses or the position we put are body in has an energetic effect. Through self-awareness, it is important to recognize when we are anxious and stressed. Responding appropriately during those first moments of realization is crucial to finding internal peace quickly. The longer we are stressed and anxious, the more time it may take to return to center and peace. Face-down positions have a grounding effect and are great for balancing anxiety and stress. You can simply turn your palms face down. If practiced over time, the subtle practice of turning your palms face down may yield large returns of internal peace. Or, you can lie on the floor or your bed face down for several moments and see if you feel a subtle grounding sensation.

DSC01894

The breath is central to the yoga practice because it interfaces directly with the nervous system. There are simple breathing practices that we can employ to upregulate the parasympathetic nervous system, the part of the nervous system responsible for helping us rest and restore. We can be in a truly crazy environment and through some simple breathing practices stay relaxed. One easy thing you can do is lengthen your exhale. A basic practice for lengthening your exhale is to take a breath and count the length of your inhale and exhale. Then, for the next 5 breaths, keep your inhale the same count, but lengthen your exhale by 1 count each time. At the end of those 5 breaths, notice how you feel.  Do you feel more relaxed? You may need to repeat the practice several times to notice a positive effect.

Another wonderful tool for grounding and finding your higher self during the holidays is disciplining yourself to bring your concentration to one specific thing. This is mindfulness. Find something specific you want to bring your attention to during the holiday season. The more specific it is, the better. Maybe it is the sound of your breath? Or maybe you want it to be the sensation of air passing through the very tip of each nostril? Or maybe you want to visualize a color you associate with peace and visualize that color moving into your body as you inhale and out of your body as you exhale. Are you sitting in holiday traffic? Are you worrying about the weather forecast and how it will impact your travel plans? Or are you sitting in front of your bat-shit-crazy relative at Christmas dinner? Any of these mindfulness practices can be done inconspicuously to help you find your center, stay in control of the emotions and sensations arising, and know peace.

Knowing peace independent of what is going on around you and even inside of you is key to finding the magic and “child-like” wonder in this holiday season. Pick a tool that resonates with you and commit to practicing it. These are simple practices that can be done anywhere that, if practiced over time, will bring you the greatest gift of all: an internal fountain of joy and peace.

michelle-smith

About the Author: Michelle Smith is a program manager for Geisinger Health System, a rural health system in central Pennsylvania. She manages The House of Care, an outpatient home for adult cancer patients undergoing treatment, and the system’s Integrative Medicine program. Michelle uses the tools of yoga therapy, reiki, and vibrational sound therapy to help staff, patients, and family members know peace during very stressful circumstances. Additionally, Michelle teaches yoga at various studios in NE Pennsylvania. Michelle is the author of the book Always With Me: The Guide to Grieving Death through Integrative Medicine which is available on Amazon.

Blogmas – Last Minute Stocking Stuffers

8.png

Hello everyone and welcome to one of the last Unsanity #Blogmas posts for the 2019 season! I didn’t have the patience or time to write one blog per day, so I opted for 10-12 over the course of the month to give myself time to get them uploaded and scheduled.

I hope you’ve been enjoying them like I have been while writing them for you. There’s alot of good stuff in here, and it’s going to be hard not to want to duplicate some next year (yes, I plan to do it again! We’ll see how the year goes leading up to December haha.)

This post is all about Stocking Stuffers for you last minute shoppers who need small gifts for your co-workers or family/friends. All of these are under $10 USD too no less! (This is in no way an ad and I do not get any compensation for featuring these item’s on my blog whatsoever. These are items I have selected from personal interest.)

mad libs

Christmas Mad Libs to play with your family during the gathering.

sugar cookie

This caffeine free sugar cookie tea for the tea lovers to try during the cold winter months.

cherry bath bomb

Everybody loves surprises – give the gift of cherries and a surprise inside with this bath fizzer.

makers mark

Have a friend who loves Maker’s Mark? Get them this awesome sweater for their bottle you bought them for Christmas.

cake decorating

This Cake Decorating tip set from Baker’s Dozen should do the trick for the baking enthusiest in your friends group.

cremo

For the man in your life who shaves every day for work – this cream fights razor burn and nicks to keep him smooth.

salt scrub

Infused with Dead Sea Salts to give you younger smoother skin. Maybe stick with giving this to a friend vs a co-worker. They might get the wrong impression, lol.

unicorn slime

For the child on your list, or for a co-worker who needs something to occupy them on lunch.. this is the perfect fun gift to give!

What If It’s Not A Happy Holiday? – Renata Leo

anthony-tran-00jxs-KSPqg-unsplash

The holiday season is quickly approaching, which means plenty of parties, family gatherings, holiday specials, and most importantly, pressure to feel happy and have a great time. When you suffer from depression and are constantly at war with your brain, it can be difficult to separate your emotions from how you believe that you’re “supposed” to feel. Every day is a struggle to understand how you really feel and to fight the impulse to force yourself into certain emotions. I can’t tell you how many vacations have been ruined for me because my brain was continually telling me that I should be happy even though I wasn’t, which made me even more miserable.  And there’s no time when societal pressure to feel a certain way is more present than the holidays.

Between all of the tv shows and movies with messages of love and good tidings, cheerful songs extolling all the virtues of humanity and family members talking about how wonderful it is when the family gets together, we are bombarded with the message that we’re supposed to be happy during the holidays. Gifts, love, and free vacation days, who can be upset with that?

The pressure comes from every direction! If you’re hosting a party, it needs to be perfect. If you’re attending a party, you need to be thrilled every minute. And due to this ever-present pressure, tensions at holiday parties can run high. With the hosts and party goers all feeling that everything needs to go perfectly, the smallest mishap can make tensions boil over. Family gatherings are constantly on the edge of contentious catastrophe. For an empathetic person, this atmosphere is really a minefield. Unable to escape this tense vibe, empaths can feel anxious and smothered by the forced merriment. All of this frivolity can be damaging for introverts as well. While interacting with so many new people and attending several parties can already drain an introvert, the added energy used by plastering on a fake smile and pretending to have a great time can be even more exhausting.

Then, there’s the pressure to take care of everyone else. The holidays are supposed to be a time when we think of everyone else instead of ourselves. Escaping from the festivities becomes a selfish and heartless move instead of necessary self-care. You don’t want to be a Grinch, right?  Self-care is an important part of everyday life, though, and it is especially important during the holidays when you are expected to attend to everyone else. You can’t take care of others if you’re too burnt out from neglecting yourself! Self-care is important, especially when dealing with depression, but when everyone around you is proclaiming that you need to be as selfless as possible, self-care seems selfish.

Make sure that you take care of yourself throughout the holidays, without worrying about everyone else. If you need to take a moment away from the festivities, confide in some people who would understand and make your exit. Don’t pressure yourself to feel a certain kind of way. This internal pressure only compounds on a heavy societal pressure to feel jolly and merry. Just let yourself feel. It’s okay if you’re not enjoying the festivities. It’s okay if you still feel sad and empty during the holidays. It’s okay.

Leo Profile Picture

Author Bio: Renata is just an open-minded, overly-sensitive, optimistically cynical feminist millennial whose passions are people and words. You can find her on Twitter and Instagram at @renataoleo, or at her blog here.

40 Blogmas Ideas for This Holiday Season

10

It’s that time of year again! Most would say it’s the most wonderful time of the year… Personally, I love the holiday season (minus the snow.) making people smile, festive recipes to test on the family and learning how to deal with new holiday stress.

I’ve never participated in Blogmas before, and I thought I would give it a try this year and do my own 12 days of Blogmas. I can’t really commit to 25 or 31 days of December at the moment, but I know I can at least do 12 of them and spread them out throughout the month of December!

If you don’t know what Blogmas is, it is a blogging challenge which consists in publishing a blog post either 12, 25 or all of the month of December. As its name suggests, Blogmas is the conjunction of the words ‘blog’ and ‘Christmas’ and anyone who has a blog can take part in the activity. This can give you consistent content, and help with daily views and publishing; not to mention to help you become a better writer than you already are. It’s good to have challanges in life, and a simple one like this can make the whole world of difference in your online presence.

Remember to have fun with this! It’s not meant to be stressful and if you find yourself not being able to keep up, you can always change the way you go about it like I am, and only committing to 12 days vs more than I know I can handle. Afterall, it’s YOUR blog and you can do what you want!

So on that note, I’ve decided to make a list of 40 Blogmas ideas that you may want to write about this holiday season. I’ve done a bit of research, and have curated this list based on what I personally would write about. 12 of these listed will be featured on my blog this season, you’ll just have to wait and see which ones! (These are in no particular order, I just wrote down whatever came to mind at the time.)

  1. Holiday Sales
  2. Home Decor
  3. New Years Resolutions
  4. Winter Self Care
  5. Gifts for Husbands
  6. Gifts for Wives
  7. Your Holiday Wish List
  8. Favorite Holiday Drinks
  9. Favorite Holiday Treats
  10. Favorite Holiday Dinner Components
  11. Winter Date Night Ideas
  12. 12 Days of _________ (gifts, giving, cookies etc.)
  13. Journal Prompts for Winter
  14. Gratitude Journal Prompts for Winter
  15. Gift Guide for Gifts Under $20
  16. Gift Guide for Gifts Under $40
  17. Winter Bucket List
  18. Christmas Day Routine
  19. Best Holiday Memory
  20. DIY Christmas Gifts
  21. New Years Blogging Goals
  22. Favorite Holiday Scents
  23. Gift Tag Printables
  24. Christmas Journal Printables
  25. Christmas Recipe Cards
  26. Stocking Stuffer Ideas
  27. How to Handle Holiday Stress
  28. Write Your Own Letter to Santa!
  29. A Guide to Christmas Events in Your City
  30. Top 10 Christmas Songs
  31. Holiday/Christmas Quotes
  32. Christmas Giveaway
  33. New Years Giveaway
  34. Unique Gift Ideas for Anyone
  35. December Goals/Blogging Goals
  36. Color Scheme Ideas for the Holidays
  37. Books to Read This Winter
  38. Top 5 Things You Love About Christmas
  39. Christmas Finances (with printable!)
  40. Top Unique Cookie Recipes for Christmas

Ohio’s Beauty in the Fall – Lexie Wohler

Have you ever seen the colors of fall? The leaves changing to different colors are some of the most incredible things to see. There is nothing quite like taking a drive and seeing the colors blend beautifully together. Instead of seeing just green on the trees, you get to see bright red, orange and yellow. We often take the fall weather and the fall beauty for granted because we have lived here for so long.

image (1)

We don’t always see the beauty for what it is, until someone else mentions it to us. We often hear the comments of, “What a beautiful fall we are having”, and “it’s nice that we get to see the change of seasons unlike other places.”

Some of my family members come up to Ohio just to see what fall looks like for us. Many of my relatives don’t get to experience the serenity of fall because of where they live. They are in awe of the changing colors and the different atmosphere they feel when they come to Ohio in the fall.

Most of the time, the leaves start changing color in the middle to late September and they continue falling until after thanksgiving in November. When the leaves start dropping, you can see clear across the valley that we have in our backyard. The smell of fall is something very different, too. You can tell that fall has come when the air has a crisp clean sent to it and you feel the colder air in your lungs when you take deep breaths.

It is so refreshing to walk outside on a crisp clear day. It is one of the ways I enjoy fall. I take walks and photograph the changing colors of the leaves and the beauty all around me.  I hear the leaves crunching under your feet as you walk. Have you ever walked outside and smelled the air after a thunderstorm? Well multiply that clean smell by 10 times and add the rustling of the leaves all around you and you just know fall has come.

Sometimes the fall can be fairly warm for our Indian Summer as we call it, in the 60s and 70s. Whereas some other years, the temps can drop to the 50s pretty quickly. The temperatures are some of my favorite aspects about fall. They are often just perfect enough for me to break out some of my favorite sweatshirts and some of my favorite sweatpants. There is nothing like sitting around a warm campfire, drinking warm cider as the temperature drops to the 50s in the evening and into the night.

Some of the fun things you can do include going on nature hikes in some of the area’s finest Metroparks systems. The truth is, you never know what kind of animals you’ll see, from possums to beavers to deer and sometimes even wolves and coyotes. My family often jokes that we have the Disney movie Bambi, right in our backyard with all the woodland creatures around us.

Some other fun things to do include going camping and sitting by campfires and raking a huge pile of leaves just to jump in them and have them spread all over your yard. Fall gives you more wonder to gaze at than you ever thought possible.

image

Come experience fall in Ohio if you’ve never been here before. You will not be disappointed.

As the catchphrase goes for Ohio, whatever you’re looking for, you can always find it here.

*Lexie is a repeat guest blogger for The Unsanity and you can find her bio and previous posts here.

#FreebieFriday – Gift Tags

TIS THE SEASON!

Well, not really, but with the temperatures getting down to 19 tonight where I live… I think this calls for something Christmas related. These were just a quick design that I made, but don’t worry, I plan on making different ones and a few furry adorable creature ones in the coming weeks before Christmas. 

You can head to my Freebie Page to pick them up!

1 2

#FreebieFriday – Foodie Recipe Cards

Happy November Unsanity Readers! 

I promised you more Recipe cards and everyone decided that they wanted normal ones, not just fall related. I hope you guys enjoy these simple ones for now – and I am going to be posting more the following weeks holiday related.

I’ve wanted to post a few for the past weeks now, but life gets in the way and things come up… and when you are dealing with a mental illness, it’s not the easiest thing to get yourself motivated to do the things you love sadly.

Here are 5 brand new recipe card designs you are able to use for your recipes. And please, do tag me or let me know if you use them! They are simple but fun to have and will brighten up your recipe box.

Visit my Freebies Page to download the high resolution copies of them.

Mental Health Awareness – Indierella

Kat is the creator of Indierella: a blog about music and living life as creatively as possible. She is a wearer of large headphones, teller of stories, and a listener of good music that nobody knows. You can find her on her blog (www.indierella.com) as well as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, and Tumblr.

*Note from Koral: This blog is back from May and Mental Health Awareness month, and thought it would fit in perfectly with the guest posts on my site here as well as the timing!

mental-health-awareness-month-main

Mental Health Awareness Month means something different to me since I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression.

Last fall, several things happened. I wasn’t taking care of my body, I was taking a heavy workload of classes, I was back on campus after spending a year abroad, and I wasn’t being honest with myself or with the people around me. A stupid conflict led to a panic attack that lasted several days where I barely ate or left my room, and at my lowest point I called the National Suicide Hotline because I needed to talk to someone, anyone, because I felt so alone, isolated, and helpless. I was taken to the ER and given a diagnosis.

My mom drove down to my school and I got to stay with her for the weekend as I ended relationships with friends, forced myself to eat, and spent a lot of time in counseling. It wasn’t pretty or romantic or graceful, and I sure didn’t deal with it in the most martyred or selfless ways. In short: I screwed up with people. But I refuse to let go of the fact that I crawled my way out of a darkness and fought my way back.

And in the months that followed, I have been blessed by so much. I was able to learn coping techniques and how to take my medication when I have a panic attack, I became closer to God, I made new friends, I fell in love with a wonderful man who makes me feel loved and beautiful and special, I got a 3.82 GPA that semester, finished my senior thesis, started this blog, and realized I have to respect and take care of myself instead of hoping that someone else would.

For years I ignored my panic attacks and fears because they “weren’t that bad.” I put other people’s expectations before my own. I didn’t seek help because I didn’t want to put pressure or be a burden on anyone else. But, at the end of the day, I don’t really regret anything. I learned that I was harboring so much guilt about hurting people that I wasn’t letting myself heal. I learned all the ways that my physical health affects my mental health. I learned to love myself. And I’m still learning how to take care of myself whenever things aren’t perfect.

Writing this post wasn’t easy. Living day-to-day isn’t always easy when I let doubt and fear creep into my mind. But at the end of the day, I’m the first person that needs to fight for my well-being. I have to be my own champion.

So for Mental Health Awareness Month, remind yourself to be your own hero. Fight for your happiness, fight your demons and fight to recognize your own mental health. I’ll be fighting with you.

But before you go, here is one last thing I have to share with you. I made this playlist when I was suffering and lonely, when walking across campus or eating in the cafeteria was hardest. At first I only had about five songs on it. Five songs that could calm me down in my state of panic. Five songs that I could listen to and not feel like I was spiraling out of control. Then, as things got better, I added more songs, and each one has a special meaning to me. Together, this playlist doesn’t remind me of the hard times, but it reminds me that things got better and they will keep getting better.

Big thank you to Kat for letting me share this post of hers on my site. We kind of did a playlist swap and I gave her my Sunday Morning Classic Rock playlist to share on here with a bit of my back story. Check out her blog and see when it’s posted!

NAME

Vegan Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies – Gabriela

Good Morning friends!

Monday means guest blogger time! Thankful to have this chicka on here to share this awesome recipe with us on vegan pumpkin cookies! You can find her personal Instagram here and her Toki Box Instagram here

🍪 🎃

Hi everyone! Nice to meet you!

I’m Gabriela – vegan + baker + proud owner of a new subscription box – TokiBox (which I created back in May this year.)

My box is all about healthy vegan goodies like superfoods, healthy snacks and eco-friendly accessories.

I became vegan a few years ago after watching a documentary about animal cruelty and I’ve been vegan since then. I don’t think I could ever eat animal products again, that’s why I created my box. A place where you can get healthy snacks and superfoods that nourish your body and gives you energy and happiness. Because it is true that you are what you eat.

I have started cooking and baking around the same time of becoming vegan – because I was discovering a new world filled with foods I never tried. I grew up a small village in Romania – so there were some of the fruits, vegetables and pantry items I’ve never seen.

Now I cook because it makes me relax, distress and create amazing stuff! It has become on of my hobbies.

When I don’t work at my box (being an online business is sometimes a 24hr job) I enjoy taking photos in nature, running and doing yoga J. I love photography and the outdoors.

I’m super happy to do write for this blog and I want to thank to Koral for the opportunity to connect with each one of you and share one of my favorite recipes.

If you’d like to check out my box head over to our website: http://tokibox.co

nhj

I’m happy to introduce you to one of my favorite fall recipes, perfect for the holidays and fall season.

These cookies are a healthier version of the traditional chocolate chip cookies that I love to recreate in the fall – winter season, because makes me feel so cozy and happy!

Ah, and I have to mention that it has one of my old time favorite ingredients: PUMPKIN.

gjgh

Because, ‘tis the season of pumpkins.

Cookies are my favorite dessert and I enjoy decorating them with all sorts of stuff and serving them with
“weird” combinations like peanut butter and nut milk or plum jam and almond butter!

I love baking them as well because they are easy and fast to make, plus everyone in the family loves them!

I have tried tons of cookie recipes since going vegan, but I personally fell in love with this one and I hope you do to!

This recipe is healthy, with no dairy or butter and with delicious vegan chocolate chips-it can be optional in case  you’re going for a healthier treat, and it is under 30 minutes.

5

Time: under 30 min

Makes 20 cookies

THE INGREDIENTS:

  • 1, 1 ¾ cups of flour (either regular or gluten free)
  • 1, ½ tsp of baking powder
  • ½ cup pumpkin puree
  • ¾ cup maple syrup
  • 1 tsp vanilla
  • 1 tsp cinnamon
  • 1 tsp nutmeg
  • ¾ cup of tahini (or any nut butter of your choice)
  • Vegan chocolate chips (measurement depends on your taste).

vfb

THE PROCESS:

  • Preheat the oven at 350 and oil a baking tray with coconut oil.
  • Mix the flour with baking powder and set aside.
  • Mix in the wet ingredients: pumpkin puree, vanilla, cinnamon, nutmeg, maple syrup and tahini.
  • Combine them together using a spatula and then mix it with your hand (like a dough).
  • After mixing it well, stir in the chocolate chips (my husband likes a lot of them so I put in ½ cup).
  • Start shaping the dough into small 2 inch balls using your hand.
  • Put all the balls into the oven and bake for 15-20 minutes.
*you can use any kind of flour or even oats 
*chocolate chips are optional – for an even healthier recipe, you don’t have to use them.

These cookies are going to come out super fluffy and not oily. I like serving them with a glass of non-dairy milk. For this photo I used pea milk from Ripple, but you can use any kind of milk you want and toppings! Go crazy with them!

This is a super healthy cookie recipe you can make ahead of time and snack on throughout the week. It is filled with protein and vitamins from the tahini and pumpkin. Eat food that nourishes your body.

Hope you try out the recipe and let us know how it turns out!

mhjk

PS: here’s a coupon code in case you’d like to try out my healthy vegan goodie box: KORAL5 for $5 off on your first box!

NAME

Spring and Fall

Summer is here already, it’s hot and it’s melting everything, even me. I was never really a fan of summer. I always lived for fall and spring when the temperature was just right during the day and then it was the perfect hoodie weather for the nighttime in order to snuggle up to that person you love most. Summer… it just isn’t my thing. When I was younger we would all sit around the fire at my mom’s house and relax and tell jokes and think ahead to the future and what it will be like. Now, it’s here. 10 years ago I was in high school sitting there thinking, “Man, where am I going to be in 10 years?” I can’t believe it’s been that long in the first place. Never in a million years did I think I’d end up here and where I am today. I miss the late nights worrying that a cop was going to drive by and see a bunch of high school kids out drinking around a fire when in fact we weren’t at all.
I miss the couple years that followed that where we were all about self-discovery and finding out what we were all meant for in the fall when we went to college. I miss that feeling of possibly losing my friends due to college. It’s a funny thing to miss, I know, but I feel like I don’t have that now. I don’t have that fear that I’ll lose anyone because I don’t have many people to lose. They’ve all left, and I know who my actual friends are regardless of how much we talk and do anything together. They could be miles away, starting a life, and they’ll still be there if I need to talk to someone. It’s those that stick around that matter really.
But, nonetheless, I do miss that feeling of wonder and where I’m going to wind up. In a sense, I’m starting to feel it now, again. I miss the distance of friends and being able to walk to them in my small 2 square mile town of South River. I miss texting them or calling them and saying hey, want to meet up at the park and walk around and do nothing? Want to go to the Skate Park and hangout and watch the cute guys for a while and then get ice cream? Life was simple back then. No husbands, boyfriends really, or children to worry about to get in the way. Now, it’s more along the lines of “Oh I need to find a baby sitter.” Or “I’m busy with work most of the weekend and looking for a house with my boyfriend.” Or something of the like. Now, it’s all about life, and how we should have kept in touch to see what kind of other friendship it would bring us. Granted I didn’t have many friends and I don’t have many left from that small town where everyone knew my name, but it was, at that time, the best time of my life. When I up and left to PA, I lost contact with those “friends” because I was out of sight and out of mind to them and nothing mattered it seemed. Yeah, I’ve reached out to them occasionally from time to time, but it was always a one sided conversation of “Hey how are you? What’s up with life?” and that’s really it. I guess when you drift from a place and you don’t try to reconnect with it, then you’re left out in the dust.
There’s this song that comes to mind, one I listen to regularly actually. I’m not going to mention its name right now, but in time, you’ll see what it means to me. You’ll think I’m strange and wonder how it relates to my life back home… But I promise you it does. Sometimes, I wish I could go back and visit old me. I would tell myself to make sure they don’t abandon you like they already have (my friends I mean) but then the other half of me is telling me “you found your true friends and they’re still living their same life that they were back in the day when you were still around. You’ve moved on and have a better life while they’re still living at home and away from all of that. You’re the better person and you always will be for doing what you want. They’re your age and still doing the same things as 10 years ago.” Under no circumstances do I feel sorry for the life I led and lead currently even though there were hard times and money issues.. I would have avoided the issue should I have stayed at home like the others… but then I would have ended up here with more life that them and I wouldn’t have met my boyfriend or past boyfriends either. I’m satisfied with what happened to me and the timing it did. Maybe I can reconnect with them at some point when they actually start to lead their own lives… but until then and until they understand how life truly is without parents or something to lean on… maybe now isn’t the best time.
I don’t know why this makes me think of summer… or even spring and fall. But I know it’s something I miss and something I’ll always miss; even those cold winters trying to walk to and from school because I wanted to get some exercise in at the time. It was always snowing and a mess out there… I figured I could walk a mile and a half in it. And most days I prospered in that feat. It’s those silly things I miss. And it all makes me think of the seasons changing and where I am today. I wouldn’t be me short of all of this and I wouldn’t be here at all if things were different.