Tag Archives: stressful

Blogmas – Last Minute Stocking Stuffers

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Hello everyone and welcome to one of the last Unsanity #Blogmas posts for the 2019 season! I didn’t have the patience or time to write one blog per day, so I opted for 10-12 over the course of the month to give myself time to get them uploaded and scheduled.

I hope you’ve been enjoying them like I have been while writing them for you. There’s alot of good stuff in here, and it’s going to be hard not to want to duplicate some next year (yes, I plan to do it again! We’ll see how the year goes leading up to December haha.)

This post is all about Stocking Stuffers for you last minute shoppers who need small gifts for your co-workers or family/friends. All of these are under $10 USD too no less! (This is in no way an ad and I do not get any compensation for featuring these item’s on my blog whatsoever. These are items I have selected from personal interest.)

mad libs

Christmas Mad Libs to play with your family during the gathering.

sugar cookie

This caffeine free sugar cookie tea for the tea lovers to try during the cold winter months.

cherry bath bomb

Everybody loves surprises – give the gift of cherries and a surprise inside with this bath fizzer.

makers mark

Have a friend who loves Maker’s Mark? Get them this awesome sweater for their bottle you bought them for Christmas.

cake decorating

This Cake Decorating tip set from Baker’s Dozen should do the trick for the baking enthusiest in your friends group.

cremo

For the man in your life who shaves every day for work – this cream fights razor burn and nicks to keep him smooth.

salt scrub

Infused with Dead Sea Salts to give you younger smoother skin. Maybe stick with giving this to a friend vs a co-worker. They might get the wrong impression, lol.

unicorn slime

For the child on your list, or for a co-worker who needs something to occupy them on lunch.. this is the perfect fun gift to give!

3 Steps to Overcome Your Setbacks & Move Forward Confidently – Tyese Knight

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Hey everybody! My name is Tyese Knight. I am a mommy of 2 and a blogger at Strong Mom Sad Mom. I am passionate about helping moms with mental illness feel confident, strong, and empowered. I have struggled with anxiety most of my life and postpartum depression after the birth of my 2nd child. I am committed to breaking the stigma of mental illness by sharing my story to help others. Follow my journey on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, & Pinterest!

I have always been an ambitious dreamer. I set big goals and work hard to accomplish them. Sometimes my ideas work beautifully and sometimes I question why I even try!

In the race of life, we are bound to have setbacks, whether minor or major, that cause hiccups on the path to our goals. It can be challenging to rebound from these setbacks. Feelings of self-doubt, anger, guilt, or sadness can hold us back even more. Just because we have these feelings, it doesn’t mean that we should stop working towards our goals. Here are 3 steps to overcome setbacks and move forward confidently.

Step 1: Mourn Your Loss

So you messed up, screwed up, or just had some bad luck. Most people would say, “Don’t be sad about it.” I’m telling you now, go ahead and be sad or mad about it. It is okay not to be okay. We can’t be happy go lucky all the time!

Sometimes we just need to feel what we feel and get it out of our system. We are capable of experiencing a wide range of emotions for a reason. There is something we need to learn from those feelings.

If you need to bury your head under your comforter or veg out in front of the TV for a few days, go ahead and do it. Unpack your sadness and other negative feelings. Just don’t stay in that place permanently!

For the New Year, I made a goal for weight loss. As soon as January 1st hit, I was on it! I made better eating choices, started counting calories, and exercised daily. Unfortunately, after a weigh in at the end of the month, I was disappointed to discover that I did not lose a single pound. I was PISSED.

So I gave up…for a few days. Started eating my feelings and stopped waking up early to exercise. It was a pretty pathetic sight but I needed to be in that place for a while to lick my wounds.

Once you work out your feelings about your setback, you are in a better place to pick up the pieces and move on.

Step 2: Evaluate Your Missteps

This step requires you to figure out what happened to cause the setback. In other words, what could you have done better to prevent this from happening?

That means you need to put on your big girl panties (or big boy underwear) and admit that you may have played a part in your own setback. It might be hard to hear but if you really want your goals to work out, you have to take responsibility for your actions.

Sometimes we have our blinders on and we can’t see the situation from any perspective besides our own. It may be helpful to find a friend or colleague you trust to help you see it from a different point of view.

After my foiled attempt at losing weight, I whined about it on social media. Many of my friends chimed in, not just to give me support, but to give me advice based on their own experience with weight loss. I was able to get a new perspective, learn what I did wrong and gain new ideas for losing weight.

Step 3: Make a Plan to Improve

Now that you have felt all the feelings and discovered what you did wrong, it’s time to get back on track. Don’t wait too long to put your new plan into action. Now that you have some momentum, use it to your advantage.

Here are some questions you need to ask yourself as you prepare a new plan of attack:

  • Does your goal need adjusting?
  • Do you need more time to accomplish your goal?
  • What additional resources would help you?
  • What would you change about your approach this time around?
  • What or who can hold you accountable for your plan?

A final word of inspiration

You can do this! Don’t be anxious about trying again. Think about the courage it took for you to try to accomplish this goal the first time. Don’t let your setbacks hold you back!

I would love to hear how you are overcoming your setbacks and blasting through your goals like a boss! Drop me a line at tyese@strongmomsadmom.com to let me know how you have been inspired!

You Can’t Stress – Sarah D’Anne

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I’m Sarah D’Anne, a writer of books and blog posts. When I’m not working in the deli at my local convenient store, I’m at home with my six cats and my mother. Besides writing, I like to doodle, do photography, and daydream.
Blog: www.unexploredboundaries.wordpress.com
Twitter: www.twitter.com/sarahdanne
IG: www.instagram.com/highlyfaveured
Pinterest: www.pinterest.com/aceyroch

“You can’t stress.” These were the words my mother said to me after her encounter with bowel blockage, shingles, and a seizure. They came after her mother passed away. My mother carried a lot on herself, including anger and resentment.

The word “can’t” in this sentence doesn’t imply “not allowed.” It implies that I am “not able to.”

So, what is someone who is not able to stress, doing writing a post about mental health? Well, that’s the question of the day, isn’t it?

I’m here to tell you what it feels like to not be able to stress.

I bet you’re thinking, “It would be so wonderful to not be able to stress. I can actually go on with my life, not caring about anything. I can let things slide right off of me, and let things happen the way that they are supposed to.”

You know what? You’re right. That’s exactly how I feel.

Do you know how hard that is, though? Watching people struggle, stress, be anxious and depressed? It’s not easy.

“It’s so hard to make ends meet. I’m broke before I even get paid,” a coworker might say to me. I stand there, motionless, trying not to blurt out the thoughts that run through my head. “Well, stop spending fifty dollars a week to get your nails done,” I think. But I slowly nod, speak a soft, “Hm,” and walk away.

Does this mean that I can’t relate to people? No. I can, actually. Growing up with a mother who deals with depression and stress, has allowed me to understand what goes through peoples’ minds when they are in these mental states. My mother is very open about how she feels and what she’s thinking. She always has been, even now. So when those that are around me, express these thoughts and feelings, I am able to understand that they feel a certain way, but I am not able to relate with the feeling itself. Which may make me seem cold and unsympathetic. I can come off like that, of course. In fact, I hardly ever have sympathy for anyone. Empathy, sure, but rarely sympathy.

So, what’s my secret for a no stress life? Do I meditate? Exercise? Stay away from any and all stressful situations? The answer is simply, no. Instead of meditating, I close my eyes and take a deep breath and let it out in a long, loud, forceful sigh, so that everyone around me knows exactly how I feel. I do listen to music, but it’s not soft. At all. In fact, it’s mostly heavy rock. I also don’t exercise. I do quite a bit of physical labor at my job, but on my off days, my butt is in my chair.

Do I lack the stress gene 5HTR2C? Are my chemical levels constantly balanced? Do I have the long long genotype called 5-HTTLPR?

Let’s face it, no one really knows what genes they have, do they?  In fact, stress can actually change your genes.

To be honest, I don’t know why I can’t stress. Maybe because I grew up watching a mother stress over everything, every day of my life. Maybe it’s because I don’t want to. Maybe it’s because I walk into every situation I am faced with, with this in mind: if I stress, I am of no help. I won’t have a clear mind to make the right decisions, or say the right things. If I stress, I can’t help. If I can’t help, what good am I?

At the end of the day, all I know is I don’t have a worry bone in my body. Do I get sad? Yes, at least I still get sad. Do I wonder about the future? Of course, who doesn’t? But I don’t necessarily worry about anything.

The beautiful part about this is, people still confide in me. People still tell me about their worries and fears and struggles. Even though I have a difficult time relating to the physical feelings, and the thoughts, I still listen and learn. I am self aware to the point that I am able to put aside my cold, unsympathetic aura, and replace it with an empathetic one.

For those of you who are prone to stress, depression, anxiety, and others, please be patient with us non-worrying types. If we could worry about how we come off to people, we would. And please don’t think that if someone doesn’t worry, that they don’t understand. Because I do.

My mother almost died because of stress. She had a seizure because of stress. Every time she feels under the weather, she gets depressed. She was very angry when I was little and would cry to me almost every night and tell me how she was feeling. They say that one out of three people will get shingles in their lifetime. Mom has had it more than once. Mom had to have open heart surgery because, when she got so sick from stress that she weighed ninety pounds, her heart grew weak and she developed a prolapsed heart valve.

To those of you who endure the pain, I see you. I feel you. I will cry with you. I don’t care if I don’t understand what you’re feeling, but what you feel is real. That’s what I understand, and to me, that’s all that matters.

Your feelings matter.

YOU MATTER.

Holiday Stress – Mama Detox

Hey everyone! My name is Rebecca, better known as Mama D, the face of Mama Detox. I am a mother of 6 kids…three grown & on their own and three still at home. We have run the gamut of home schooling, public school and now the younger 3 are at a private Waldorf School. Years ago due to allergies starting in one of my daughters (I have 5) we began removing toxic substances from our life, not just with food, but in EVERY aspect of our life.

My goal at Mama Detox is to help families transform their toxic lives into happy lifestyles. Join us on our journey and start your own at www.mamadetox.com or follow us on Instagram, Pinterest or even on Facebook.

Does the thought of the upcoming holiday season send you into a panic? Are you stressed trying to get everything accomplished? Do your children send fighting and sibling rivalry to a whole new level during the holidays?
Breathe! Let Mama Detox help you reduce the toxic effect of holiday stress.

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Holiday stress is nothing new. I am sure we are all very familiar with it, not only in our own lives, but in the lives of our children. Being the unique individuals that we are, we tend to manifest stress in different ways, but yet the same. Adults often become irritable, grouchy, short-tempered, yelling, cutting others off…just downright rude. Children as well will get irritable, short-tempered, easily frustrated, grouchy and the temper tantrums, screaming fits, sibling fights, unkind words, even hitting, kicking and biting episodes become all to common during the holidays. Unfortunately the negative effects of stress go far deeper than the outward scenes we see, hear or initiate ourselves.

One of the first steps is to identify what are the triggers or situations that causes our stress level to rise? Is it hosting the big family meal at our house? Cooking for all of those people? How about the endless barrage of holiday party invites? Trying to find the perfect gift for everyone on our list? What about your children’s source of stress? Does visiting all of those seldom seen relatives strike fear in their little heart? To many late night parties upsetting their routine and sleep cycles? Excessive amounts of sugar? (watch for an upcoming post on the dangers of sugar) It could be that your stress is being passed onto them without you even realizing it. Children are extremely intuitive and can sense when you are upset/stressed. They may not be able to verbalize it or how it makes them feel, but they know that their normally calm, supportive safety net is not as strong as it should be. In a crazy, frenzied time of life children need that calm, peaceful, reassurance their parent normally provides even more than usual.

Now that you have identified the cause(s) of stress in you and your children it is time to find a way to limit the negativity it causes in your life. Often we as parents have very different view points from our children (or even our significant other) as to which holiday traditions are truly important or even enjoyable. If you and your partner have not had a recent discussion as to what is important to each of you during the holiday season, I encourage you to do so before things get crazy and before you know it another holiday has come and gone. Even if you hashed it all out earlier in your relationship, priorities change as we get older, what was once THE tradition for your partner may not even register with them now. Or perhaps you had sat down shortly before the birth of your oldest and decided how the holidays would play out, but now 4 kids later, trying to follow that same schedule is just madness. Take some time, go on a date and discuss it, make a list one evening after the kids are in bed, get up early one morning and plan it out over coffee together…but have a conversation and get on the same page. This one step alone may relieve more stress than you think.

Next, if your children are old enough, ask them which traditions are important to them. Which ones could they happily let go? Are there any new ones they may have seen/heard of that they would like to add? The answers may surprise you. Years ago, after my first husband and I separated, I sat down with my older three (the fourth was less than 2 yrs) and asked them what traditions they felt we should keep, which was the most important to them, where there any traditions they didn’t really care if we still did or not, and was there a tradition that they didn’t even like? Surprisingly one tradition that all 3 of them found stressful was receiving a yearly Christmas stuffed animal.  They all felt like because this was a “special” stuffed animal that they would have to keep it forever even if they didn’t want too. I was *SHOCKED*! My children did not want a toy? They were even stressed by thought of having to lug this animal around with them forever? Well, that was one tradition that as a newly single, strapped for cash, parent I was happy to get rid of!

gifts

Point to the post: often sources of holiday stress are ones we bring upon ourselves. We *think* our partner/kids/family want tradition x, y, z, but in reality they could happily do with out it. So, have a discussion. Communicate with each other and let the de-stressing begin!

Check out my FREE 5 day mini course on Holiday Stress Busters!

Thanks Rebecca from Mama Detox for sharing this short and to the point Holiday Stress post with my Unsanity Readers! Remembering to communicate for the holiday season is important, even if (and especially if!) you need help or guidance along the way to de-stressing. It doesn’t get better unless you acknowledge there is stress to begin with.

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Fibromyalgia and Me – Sydney Culver

Hello Unsanity readers! Thank you for staying with me this far along in my featured guests posts! I have been doing this since about October and have featured over 10 guests thus far! My next one is no stranger to anxiety and life struggles, especially when dealing with a physical illness that triggers these types of reactions. Please welcome Sydney Culver and her battle and realization with Fibromyalgia and mental health.

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Four years ago, I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. At the time, I didn’t realize there were signs years before and of course I didn’t know what to look for, so I treated the symptoms and not the cause. I broke out in a horrific case of hives, conveniently when I was going through a very difficult time in my life. The hives were so bad, the doctor wanted to me to essentially sign my life away by agreeing to some egregious amount of steroids to get the issue under control. I was already on a serious course of steroids, and had put on at least fifteen pounds, coupled with a moon face. I was terribly depressed and in pain. My ex-husband suggested another allergist, who was less aggressive and my husband was all for the second opinion. In about a month the new doctor had the hive condition in remission and the swelling began to go down. Nevertheless, my personal life was in shambles and even though I was getting better physically, I believe I was becoming a bit unhinged mentally.

I never really believed in “mental illness”, “anxiety” or “stress”. I thought one could just stop being sad, or depressed or anxious. I figured if you want to feel good, you will. Make yourself snap out of it! Boy was I mistaken. When your life is in turmoil and your health is in question, you cannot just snap out of it. I wasn’t sleeping, I wasn’t eating. There was one night when my sixteen-year-old daughter stayed up most of the night with me, comforting me as if she were the mom. I was that far gone. There was no way I could gain control of my emotions without help. I ended seeing a psychiatrist and he put me on an anxiety med and a sleeping pill. I learned exactly why sleep deprivation was a form of torture. I slowly got my life back on track.

A few years later, I was promoted from assistant principal to principal. The only catch was we had to relocate to North Carolina from Florida. My husband and I were elated. Before I was to report to work, we planned a trip to my hometown of Manhattan. It was hot and grimy in the city and my feet and hands began to seize up as we walked around town. I felt a shooting pain from my finger tips to my elbows and my fingers were so swollen, I couldn’t even wear my wedding ring. I thought the heat was getting to me but once I started the job and began to deal with the stress of a boss who loved to bully and belittle me, the shooting pain in my feet, fingers and arms, and the move from one state to another I realized there was something really wrong. I didn’t want to get out of bed, I would cry at the drop of a hat, my best friend came to visit and didn’t recognize me. My husband and bestie wanted me to walk away from the job. The stress was clearly breaking me down and once again, I wasn’t sleeping or eating.

As time went on, I had the wherewithal to not let the bully win. My primary doctor recommended a great neurologist who began to test for various auto immune diseases and I began the process of treatment. The medications are not only nerve blockers, but also used to treat depression and anxiety, which seems to accompany Fibromyalgia (my eventual diagnosis).

I believe the mind can control health. Stress can manifest itself as a disease. You cannot control the snowball effect of anxiety or depression without help. I suggest you don’t even try. There’s no shame in admitting you have a problem.

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What You Can Do to Make Someone’s Holiday Memorable – Aaliyah Holt

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Autism and Unemployment
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Steemit Blog
The holidays are coming up, a wonderful time of year. The one thing that makes them depressing is having no money to spend on the holidays. It really sucks being broke, seeing things you want to buy but no money to do so, and not being able to get a job. (I’ll get into why I cannot find/get a job.)
It’s best to do holiday shopping before Thanksgiving because if you wait until like mid-December, there is a chance you won’t have much to get. I would love to do some holiday shopping. For instance, I need equipment for my YouTube Channel to better my videos.
The holidays are usually when things go on sale. Say a camera costs 500 dollars, it could drop to 300 for Christmas.
I have explained in Autism And Unemployment (link above) my struggles with finding employment because the jobs in my area do not have the settings I need. I will perform better in a job with my settings than in a job without my settings. I also explained in this blog the struggles that most autistic people face with employment.
This is to give you a backstory on why I do not have a job; which is mostly due to my mental health and stress levels. When I get too stressed, I will get a stress-related bald spot in my hair and gain weight. Another thing I would love to do is to travel for the holidays, weather permitting. However, due to no money, I can’t do that. I just hate being stuck in Illinois, sometimes I want to get out, just to give myself a mental break. There are a lot of places I want to go. Heck, I want traveling to be a job!
My grandma used to get me Just Dance for Christmas or my birthday (December 31st). She stopped, however, I reckon due to no money. Sometimes I wonder what good is getting hyped for the holidays if I can’t do any of the activities I want due to being broke. The only money I get is from my Steemit Blog. However, I only get 3-5 cents a post and my hard work often feels like it gets ignored.
When I was little, my folks had more money, because they were working and brought home money every 2 weeks. Since they retired, they cannot do things like the used to. My mom also got me things when she used to work full-time. She was terminated when she couldn’t get the doctor to sign her disability papers. Thankfully, my mom now has a part-time job, but she doesn’t get the money like the did with full time.

What You Can Do to Make Someone’s Holiday Memorable

  • The holidays are not always a happy time for everyone. Someone people have no one to spend the holidays with. Check up on your friends.
  • If you want to travel, ask your friend if they want to go.
  • Get them a little gift for Christmas ( or whatever they observe).
  • Invite your friend over for dinner if you have a holiday dinner.
  • Take them out for New Years, just be careful. You have the power to do something.
  • Find something they would like from Amazon and put in their address in the shipping information.
These are just some things you can do to help someone who has no money or no one to spend the holidays with. I hope everyone’s holidays go swimmingly! Just remember what I said. You can make someone’s day: it takes little effort to do so.
Facebook: facebook.com/xaaliyahholtx/
YouTube: youtube.com/c/AaliyahHolt
Pinterest: pinterest.com/xaaliyahholtx/
Instagram: instagram.com/xaaliyahholtx/
Twitter: twitter.com/xaaliyahholtx
Blog Link: aaliyahholtblog.wordpress.com

Thanks to Aaliyah aka Jazz Holt for sending over this for me to share with everyone. We all struggle with anxiety of some sort, especially when around the holidays. Even I’m feeling it myself because I don’t have a job currently as well. My mental health doesn’t affect me getting a job, but some days, it very well feels like i’m about to have a breakdown. I manage to keep myself together most days. Remember, there are other ways to show someone you care around the holidays that don’t include spending much money. 

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7 AMAZING WAYS TO BEAT DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY – Keep It Simple

Hello everyone, you know the deal by now – here is my next guest blogger as promised. I do hope you are enjoying these as much as everyone who is submitting posts for me seems to be having! Our next one comes from Sharleen Fenn and you can check out her blog here.

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Keep It Simple

Launched in 2018 as a resource for discovering a simpler (more country) way of doing things. An expat Kiwi living in the SF Bay Area, growing vegetables in the back yard, finding local resources and ways to eat healthy(er), a passion for all things camping and outdoors. A love of made from scratch meals, diy, and card making, and overcoming challenges in day-to-day life. Sign up, join in, collaborate… Keep it simple!

7 AMAZING WAYS TO BEAT DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY

Depression and anxiety are roadblocks to engagement in life. Everything is overwhelming, and often the sheer will to live recedes. Every single aspect of your life is impacted. There are several strategies to counteract the effects of depression and anxiety. Understanding your diagnosis, the medications you are on, where to find support, and how to incorporate coping skills into your daily routine puts control firmly back in your hands. You can bring your life back into focus.

ACCEPTANCE

You feel as if you have lost control over your life. You feel like things are happening to you, instead of because of you. Not being able to fully engage in daily tasks, or take care of your responsibilities, contributes to the feeling of helplessness and hopelessness. The roller coaster of depression and anxiety is exhausting. Give yourself permission to accept each day, hour, moment, or second as being exactly the way it is supposed to be. Accept that developing coping skills is going to take time.

STAY IN THE MOMENT

Stop trying to predict the future or ruminate on the past. Focus on the now. Ask yourself what you need for this moment. What will make you feel better? Focus on what you CAN do and not on what you can’t do. Start with small tasks that give you a sense of accomplishment. Stop beating yourself up for not meeting the expectations of your well self. Each day is a new day, stop worrying about things that you cannot control.

CHEMISTRY GONE AWRY

Body chemistry changes over time. It can be episodic or longer term. If your body is not producing or absorbing certain neuro transmitter chemicals, symptoms can emerge. When chemistry changes enough, medication may be necessary. After a diagnosis, ask questions, do research, and keep an open mind. If medication is necessary, give it the prescribed time interval to work. Let your doctor know if you have any symptoms that you cannot live with. Keep trying; there will be a solution for you.

SUPPORT SYSTEM

Build a support system. Talk to other people who suffer from the same ailment. Hearing how they cope will boost your spirits. Identify someone who has what you want, has a great attitude, has a great story to share, and buddy up with them. Share your hopes and fears. Let the support system be your sounding board and sanity check. These people will hold you up when you cannot quite get there. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Others started right where you are.

POOR ME

Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You are better than that. Continue to act wounded and people will begin to treat you differently, not in a good way. You matter. You are a bright, wonderful, contributing human being who suffers from a condition that makes it difficult to get through the day. Stop acting how you feel, and start acting how you WANT to feel. After a while, your positive attitude will shine.

CHANGE HABITS

Living on junk food and reruns on Netflix is not a solution. Sunshine, fresh air, exercise…you need it. You have to keep moving. Your body needs certain vitamins and minerals to be well. Sunshine has vitamin D, which helps with calcium absorption, contributing to bone health. Minimize foods full of sugar, salt, additives, colorants, and preservatives. Incorporate more plant based foods into your diet. If you are not sleeping or sleeping too much, take action.

SELF CARE

You need to take care of you. What are your favorite things? Pamper yourself. Meditate, listen to encouraging, uplifting podcasts, or watch TED talks. Shower, brush your hair and change your clothes. Continue to do the things you love. Instead of attempting a big project, break it down into small tasks, and tackle one of those. Personal accomplishment is encouraging.

THINK POSITIVE THOUGHTS

Did you know that the way you think, affects the way you feel, which affects the way you act? That is part of CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy). Practice thinking positive outcomes. Think solutions, not problems. Think empathy, not anger. Think success, not failure. Don’t fall down the rabbit hole. Be aware that negative self-talk is defeating. Be the winner you are.

DON’T BE DISCOURAGED

Bottom line is you have a mental health condition that is treatable. Be patient. It takes time to learn new coping skills. Accepting your condition, your capabilities, staying in the now, taking care of yourself, developing a support system, and changing a few habits will have you on the mend. If you don’t take action, nothing will change. Take charge now. YOU are so worth it.

Note:All opinions expressed in this article are personal opinions of the author. This does not denote professional advice.

National (US) Helplines and mental health resources:

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