Tag Archives: vent

Dear Anxiety – Jess Ling

People who know me may know that I am suffering from anxiety. But in fact, I don’t just suffer from anxiety, I have other psychological problems. I’ve never said to anyone else. Not because I am afraid, I just feel that there is no need to make things serious. Therefore, even if I know that I am living in anxiety, I will still choose a happy way to face it.

Maybe I was thinking that I could fix it and think that this is a small matter. When I started to want to deal with it, things have slowly accumulated, and I realized that I have never dealt with it. When I was a child, I lived in an ordinary family. My parents are easily upset and easily get angry, and when we were children, my family had been arguing all the time and fighting.

I remember that one day I saw my parents pick up the knife. My mother was very angry and wanted to die. My father left when I was only 7 years old, I didn’t know anything happened and I didn’t know how to deal with it. I know that this had been going on for many years, but I have never forgotten it. (I also know that this reason makes me unable to believe in human beings, belief in feelings, I think only myself is the most reliable. So this is also now everyone knows why I have never been good at discussing my relationship problems.)

Jess Ling - Anxiety

Of course, due to emotional problems, my parents Sometimes we will whip us because of venting. So you asked me which time was the saddest, I think I have passed. In the process of growing up, I didn’t have a day to be happy, at home, or at school. Many times I chose to be alone, eat alone, watch movies alone, and just want to do anything by myself.

I think anxiety is hard to explain because it can be different in a minute. I can still talk happily at this second, but I don’t know what will happen in the next second. This feeling may be a bit disturbing, but in fact, if you understand anxiety. Every day I still face anxiety; life is so embarrassing, but I still have to try, and I have been working hard on this. Sometimes, the most important thing to fight against anxiety is to keep positive thoughts, because many times I will be defeated by these negative emotions.

But please tell yourself that if you fail today is not important, we will come again tomorrow. Sometimes these days are repeated. I have been reminded many times how brave I have been these past years. Now, I have learned how to put down and face these things. I know it sounds terrible, I have to face so many things myself. But I think I just learn from these things, and when others encounter the same events, I can share and encourage.

Anxiety disorders are not terrible, don’t be afraid to be repelled. I believe that many friends in the world still dare not express or face their own anxiety. Please believe me, you are not alone. Because I live like this too. Today, I will share my past, not to make you feel how pitiful I am, I just want to help more people out of the woods. The messages I see every day are anxiety, depression, and how many people are taken away. This world should not be like this, so we must help each other.

Remember no matter what mental health, the best help if you need an audience, I will always be here.

Author Bio: Hi I am Jess (From Jerserry.com) a 20 something living in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. A dog person and love to write about lifestyle, travel,food and more. I start my blog since May 2017, trying to be a full-time blogger and I love to write all the time, I also found out is a great place to meeting so many amazing people from all around the world through the blog. Here is a little story about me: I’m shy & weird, I don’t talk much, but I love to meet new friends. When I was in high school, I didn’t have many friends, so I always spent time alone and wrote my diary book until I got my first computer. I started to make a blog and start my blogger life (when I was 15) but if you have seen my post before about “A post about why I started blogging” you will know that I have changed few blog address before. This one will be stick with me forever and let me continue my journey! Let Be Friends!

My social media: Twitter Pinterest Instagram Blog Facebook

Striving Towards A Simple Life – Just a Bit Further

123

Is it even possible?

Is it possible to live a simple life, given the velocity that life careens through the cosmos these days? A life that gives you room to breathe and ultimately to live life on your own terms. Not necessarily life as the result of ditching everything and living off-grid in a self-hewed cabin in the wilderness of northern Ontario, but a life regardless of where you are, that in all intense purposes is simple.”

How many of us are desperately seeking this kind of quiet change? A major hurdle to overcoming this pilgrimage of living “simple” is the concept of “living simpler”. Sadly, this is pretty much polar opposite to the world as we know it.

1234

This comes as no huge shock, but we live a crazy, and insanely busy time.

What defies logic is; although we bemoan and complain about how insane it all is, when we flip the coin over we find ourselves glorifying busy and all the insaneness.

We extoll with our friends and colleagues on how many hours we can work. All of which goes hand in hand with how little sleep we need to work all those hours. At the expense of friends, family and relationships in general, we glue our noses to computer screens or our smartphones, using each precious second we can find. We become addicted to the “likes” and “comments” hoping they will inject a level of validation into what can be a somewhat superficial and sad commentary of our affairs.

Like sitting around a poker table, we raise the stakes higher and higher. We take on more commitments. Our jobs demand more and more of us, to produce greater outputs, meaning longer hours and even more commitments. We are driven to do more and, yes, buy more. Many people abuse themselves with drugs and/or alcohol in an out of control attempt to get distracted from the insaneness until they are anesthetized into dreamland and stressed beyond human comprehension.

Okay, that might be a stretch for some, but it certainly is the reality for many. But, granted it is tough.

Many of us were raised in environments where achievements and the pursuit of wanting more is hard-wired into our DNA. So, there is never enough and there is always more to be had. We push more and more to get further ahead. To be better than last year, striving for a better and more prestigious title at work. And always lurking out there somewhere, like a northern pike circling the shallow water for his next meal, is the lure of more money. We believe “money” to be the answer to all our troubles and strife. Believing that more money will buy us the peace, happiness and a simpler life we have so longed for.

What might happen though, if we decided to take a bit of side-step?

To strategically work on leaving the craziness and insaneness behind, and to go for a life that was much simpler in its complexity?

12345

Is it even possible?

Let’s make the assumption that it is. If so, what might a less simple existence even look like?

Again, I’m not suggesting or promoting heading off to a northern Ontario wood-lot deep in the boreal forests anywhere north of Manitouwadge and hand whacking a tiny cabin together with nothing more than an axe, grit and determination. Although, if that’s what you think it takes, more power to you!

Like I do, most of us live in the real world and we have real-world commitments. It is those commitments that require us to live in the real world. The reality we see each day when we open the front door.

How can we be in this world (the crazy and insanely hectic one), but move towards living simpler? How to get out of the “race” and to step away from the busyness, whether self-imposed or not. How can I/we slow things down, while fulfilling our purpose, doing great work and living a wonderful life?

123456

Breathing

Creating and living a much simpler life is all about breathing.

Establishing space through cutting or scaling back gives you space to breathe.

Doing more and having more doesn’t lead to happiness and fulfillment. In fact, the opposite is true. It’s about finding joy in the simple things, and being content with solitude, quiet, contemplation and savoring the moment.

A few things to keep in mind though.

1234567

We Are Our Own Worst Enemy

All of the stress, the irritations, the dissatisfaction, and disappointments; all the craziness and rushing around; we created all of it. So, whether you like it or not, we are our own worst enemy. Every one of those things we created in our own minds. We made those decisions and we created these with attachments in our heads. By letting go, we can relax and live more simply.

Clutter and Complexity

Get rid of stuff.”

When we can get rid of “stuff” and become less attached, a couple of things can happen. If you sell some of the “tangible stuff”, you’ll have a bit of cash in your hand and most significantly, getting rid of clutter can result in these benefits:

  • sense of confidence – I have only X amount of space, so I need to be bold with what goes and what stays
  • more energy – relates to the first point. Puts you in the get things done mode
  • reduces anxiety – most of us prefer order as compared to chaos. Decluttering creates order and order reduces anxiety
  • creates more time – not overwhelmed now with the time that WAS needed to clean and tidy. Creates time for other things or to do nothingWhen we can do something like getting rid of the clutter around us, our lives start to become simpler.

Social Media

Might as well blurt it out there – “social media is the scourge of today. Okay, it might not be “the scourge of today,” but it rates right up there.

There is no getting around it, we are addicted to those little electronic devices. Our phone, Ipads, computers and all that they deliver – we can never get enough. We check our FB feeds to see how many likes did that post get. We upload a picture of our dinner on Instagram and then head over and update our life on Twitter. Each time we “just check for a second,” a wee tiny blast of dopamine let’s loose in our brains and we become more and more addicted.

For too many of us, it’s insanely hard to stop.

In search of making our lives simpler, cutting back on social media time is an excellent element in our quest. In checking to see who’s doing what and who said what, we waste time and energy. Sadly, we get stuck in a trap of comparing ourselves with “influencers” and others on social media, which over time can erode our confidence and takes away the power we have within us as individuals.

Less screen time equates to more breathing time and space.

A Few Simple Things

How many feel that their lives and activities need to be complex. In that, complex equates to better. Often, that includes a cycle of “more complex and better” as time moves along. Yesterday’s complex and better doesn’t cut it today.

Striving towards a life that is simpler means looking inside of us, deep inside of us to discover those simple joys and activities in life.

For me, those include writing/blogging, reading and discovering new things; as well as the outdoors; including hiking and walking. Most importantly, spending time with Lynn, while she captures all of this with her photography skills and passion.

When we downsized our home after our daughter left for college, we gave more stuff away than I can remember. And when I say downsize I mean downsize… to a 700 square foot two bedroom home.

When our lives become focused on the simple things you love doing, life suddenly becomes simpler.

Less clutter; less stuff; less worry.

“No” Is Not A Bad Word

Most of us are not very clear about what we want. How many of us see a post on social media of something really neat or exciting and we become obsessed about doing whatever that was. Next thing you know, we find ourselves heading in a new and totally different direction.

When someone invites us out, we instantly say, yes. Why? Because we’re “yes people” or “people pleasers.” We simply cannot say no.

Because we can never say no, our lives and schedules get stretched to the breaking point. There’s never enough time left for the things that are most important to us.

No is not a bad word.

What if we worked really hard on those things in our existence that held the most and dearest value to us? Saying, “yes” to those things and “no” to the other stuff. If we knew what we wanted to create and the direction we want our lives to head in, we could say yes to these things, and no to everything else.

Saying no to more things would simplify our lives. No is not a bad word!

Do Nothing – Practice It Until You Get REAL GOOD at it.

Have you ever just sat back and did nothing for a day? Just hung loose and did NOTHING. No need to feel that the day had been wasted if something had not been accomplished.

We all need idle time. Time built in to sit and watch the clouds drift by on a warm summer’s afternoon. A time that is free to do nothing.

Many people feel the need to have every waking moment filled with activities and the need to accomplish so much, each and every day. The reality is we need that down time to rejuvenate ourselves…..to meditate; to think; to reflect.

Why?

Having that time to do nothing and just “be you” helps to foster and create contentment with life.

Get In Alignment

When working towards achieving a simpler life, at some point along the way it will become clear to you which things in your life are no longer in alignment with your values.

Part of living more simply will help you identify those unnecessary aspects of your daily life. It might be less FB and social media time, or it might be areas in your life that need significant review and thought. This could be your job; friendships; where you live; belongings (getting rid of things) or anything else that just doesn’t line up with your simpler existence.

So, is it even possible?

Yes, it is possible and like much of life, it comes down to a decision. We are the only ones who can decide if we want our lives to be less hectic and more simple in existence.

It doesn’t mean packing up and living in a tiny cabin out in the hinterlands cut off from everything. It’s about making priorities; figuring out what we want our lives to look like and then acting on those things to accomplish it.

Something tells me that as time marches on, life will become more and more complex, with greater demands on our time. Perhaps now is your moment to re-evaluate where you are… where you’re headed. To start now and simplify your life to create something that gives you room to breathe and room to live!

quote

To quote Yvon Chouinard, an early rock climbing pioneer and founder of the outdoor equipment and clothing company Patagonia and environmental activist.

Thanks for reading and stopping by.

#FreebieFriday – Planner Pages

Good morning Unsanity readers!

It’s another #FreebieFriday for you finally. I’ve been out of the loop writing here myself (currently featuring a whole BUNCH of guest bloggers instead!) and wanted to share something for your Freebie today.

Click the link below to download your 4 different color scheme daily planner pages! You can also find this here on my page if you lose this post amongst the others.

daily planner

NAME

Mental Health Mini Series: 4 Reasons Why You Should Start to Exercise – Stephanie Robbins

Hello Friends!

I am so happy to be back doing a guest post series for Koral! Thank you so much for this chance.

I’m Stephanie from A Red Hair Girl. In January I wrote a post for Koral that gave you some background about my mental health issues. Then I went on to explain three ways I helped myself with my mental health.

First I admitted to myself I had a problem and that I needed help. Second I told a few people that I felt comfortable telling (my husband, my mom, sisters, and my OBGYN). And third I made the scary phone call to a therapist to get up an appointment. It is worth the read. I hope it will give you courage to seek out the help you need if you are struggling.

At the end of the post I mentioned I had a post about the things I have learned in therapy that have helped me. Welp, I had good intentions but I never got around to writing it… AHHH! I’m sorry!

11

I thought this mini-series would be the perfect chance for me to tell you about 4 things that I learned from my therapist. And tell you why they have helped me. I’m super excited!

So, let’s get right to it! This post is all about exercise! Here are 4 reasons why exercise is great for your mental health. I hope that by the time you are finished you are ready to get your sweat on.

Working Out Releases Our Feeling Good Endorphins

When we have our feeling good endorphins are flowing it just feels great. This is a natural way to get them going. So why wouldn’t we want to do that? My therapist always ask how my level of exercise. She doesn’t care how hard I’m going at it. She just wants me moving.

Even a walk around the block and kick start the good feeling endorphins. In fact if you exercise outside it can increase the amount of good feeling endorphins. That’s a double win! She tells me to get outside and talk a walk around the block sans kids if I’m feeling stressed, depressed or anxious. That isn’t always possible. But when I have, I come back refreshed.

Exercise Can Help Take Your Mind off Worries

When your brain has less to worry about your depression and anxiety will have less to feed it. When I’m working out it is harder for me to think about negative things. After a workout it is even hard to be negative. It’s all those good feeling endorphins. J

So if you exercise most days then you will have less time during those days to worry, which will help. Because the less you worry then the cycle of negative thoughts that help to feed your depression and anxiety will not be as present.

12

Exercise Can Help You Gain Confidence

What happens when you work out consistently? So many wonderful things! Among them is you will start to feel better about yourself. When you take the time to work out and do something that is hard you gain confidence.

You may start to lose weight or gain muscle. Your clothes may start to fit differently, a good different. People may start to give you complements. Or you may catch yourself in the mirror and think, WOW! All of these help you to gain confidence.

When you have more confidence you start to have a change in your thinking. For me, I become less depressed. Both of those things (being less depressed and gaining confidence) are very important to your mental health.

Working Out Can Help You Eat Better

If you are like me (and so many other people) then when you start to exercise consistently you may start to eat healthier. You may find yourself grabbing for an apple instead of crackers. The can of soda may not look as tasty as water.

When I am able to get myself out of bed and work out first thing in the morning I tend to make better eating choices all day long. Why wouldn’t I want to start my day off in that way?

Then when you start making better eating choices and continue to work out you will see a difference in your body. This will help you gain more confidence. See how many of these are intertwined? J

Some Tips and Tricks to Help You

  • You do not need to go out and join a gym or an online membership unless you want to.
  • There are plenty of free resources online or books you can check out from the library.
  • Walking is a great way to get started, get some good shoes to protect your feet and body.
  • Workout clothes are so much fun to have. They are pricey. I mostly use t-shirts and my husband’s old shorts. I have bought some workout clothes but they don’t fit very well, thank you baby #4. Haha! I reward myself by meeting exercise goals with workout clothes. J
  • Yoga is SOOOOO good for your body and mental health. One of my favorite yoga channels on You Tube is Yoga with Adriene. I just really love her, this is not sponsored. After I started to do yoga more consistently I noticed mood improvements. Woohoo!
  • Ask a friend to be your accountability partner or workout partner.
  • Self-promoting here… J Last fall I created a 3 month free workout program. Check it out and see if it is something you’d like.

Good luck my friends with exercising! It has helped me so much with my mental health and confidence. I know it can help you as well!

Happy working out!

Xoxo, Steph

A Collection of Art

Good morning, and happy Hump Day. I’d like to showcase my Adobe Spark edits in one location and I thought what better way to do it than on my blog that I haven’t written on in a long time. Has WordPress died? It doesn’t seem to be talked of or used much anymore for some reason. Hmm.

Well, these are in no particular order really I just wanted a place to showcase them all at once since they’re mostly on Instagram at the moment.

I Am The Wind

“When you’re dumb enough for long enough, you’re gonna meet someone too smart to love you, and they’re gonna love you anyway, and it’s gonna go so poorly.” – Neil Hilborn, Ballad of the Bruised Lung

Been awhile, life’s been crazy. I’ve been trying to find the time to keep writing but I just haven’t had any. I mean I have, but I’ve had no ideas really to make me want to write anything substantial in my opinion. It’s been a blur to be honest, I can’t believe a year has almost gone by since myself and guy started dating again.. and it makes me feel semi good, that I can make it better than the last time we dated since we both effed up the last time and several times after that. Seems like we can’t just get it right.. Maybe this time won’t be so bad… here’s to hoping!

I’ve taken some photos recently, with guy’s other camera the Sony a6000 and I like it. But I only like it with the 90mm Macro since it’s amazing. I kind of want it. But there’s no way I can afford the lenses for it. Yes, I can borrow his, but what’s that going to do for me should something happen with myself and him. I will never give up my Canon camera for something else. I would only add to it. I plan on trying to start a collection of some sorts and when I finally get a home, I will have a camera closet for all my things.

Here are a few shots of the Sony a6000 that I took just yesterday around Nanticoke, PA. 

dsc06367dngdsc06297dngdsc06346dng

When you’re tired of waiting and time is not on your side
When you’re tired of hating me, you no longer want to hide

It’s time for another session of relaxation and tea bath before my roommates get home and take their long shower. I’ve been thankful enough to get to take some nice showers lately thankfully, and it’s helping my mood a lot surprisingly. *hand clap* Off I go because then I’m going to sleep forever tonight, maybe I’ll put my hair in curlers again. We’ll see since it seems to poof then I use them, lol!

Cheers,

xoxox

I Don’t Believe It’s True

It’s been over a month since I’ve written.
A series of events has happened that led me to be absent including moving to a different apartment in record time because of roommate issues. Should I feel sorry? I think not. I need to do what’s best for me, always and every single time.
I’ve been beating myself up alot recently over the smallest things ever and that’s not healthy. I want to share with you something I posted to Facebook not too long ago.

Sitting on my back porch, listening to music, watching the stars between the cloud cover; wishing someone was here with me that actually likes cuddling and star watching.

I know I keep saying its better to be single, but to be honest, I miss all that cute stuff. Someone who sends me good mornings every day before they even get out of bed and go to work, someone who will take me out for surprise ice cream treats, someone who doesn’t get tired of me and can text me all the time and not get annoyed by thinking I’m “needy.”  Someone who takes me for me and not tell me to do certain things just to be able to talk to me. Someone who asks to hang out on a regular basis.

I’ve been a miserable schmuck lately and I hate it. Now living alone, which is great, it gets lonely still sometimes. I don’t want to get stuck in Wilkes Barre forever. I really want to leave next year, and hop on a train or bus to a new state and find happiness for myself. I’ll be 25 this year, and I don’t know what makes me happy.

Each day that passes, I get closer and closer to just packing up essentials and kitties, selling everything and finding a new state to set myself in, where no one knows my name.

Maybe this needs to happen, because I think I should know who I am by now, but I don’t.

I’m still sitting on that porch, and its now very late at night and I don’t know how I feel about anything anymore. I know I need to pack up and leave. I can’t bring myself to do it though. I need companionship, I need love. I’m tired of feeling like I don’t matter.

I’m falling behind on everything in life. Photos, art, having fun, stargazing for no reason… All of that is more enjoyable with someone you know and love. And I want someone to give me a reason to stay here in PA. Someone to tell me that they need me around and want me around for some time still and that they’re not ready to say goodbye. I haven’t been taking the time to do the things I love to do. I’m always sitting around being lazy, and I hate it. I really do. I need to step up and be better. For myself and for whoever may come my way and actually be there for me.

It’s now 130 in the morning and I still can’t sleep for anything. Always I have a few people to talk to right now who are also night owls so that’s a plus I guess. Others are stupid and passed out cold or busy or something else. At least Romeow is here to keep me company. He’s the best kitty in the world. MooMoo is of course adorable too, but I wish she’d let me pick her up or something and hold her. She hates everyone that walks in the door. Not like it’s many people but still. I guess I should go to bed. Before I forget to save this and it gets deleted like the last time.

Cheers,
xoxox
||Koral♡Dawn||