Tag Archives: wish

Blogmas – My Holiday Wish List 2019

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

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I hope everyone is having a great holiday so far, even though it’s still early in the day. For this entry for Blogmas, I have decided to do my Personal Wish List.

This year was a difficult year, and is still difficult for myself and my small family. With moving back to PA from WA in the end of March, to our wedding in May, and to still not being caught up on bills from the big move… the second part of this year has been rough. Without going into too much detail, my husband and I were both sick twice with a cold already, we had snow 2 weeks before Thanksgiving (wtf?! it’s not even winter yet!), we both had a few serious episodes of depression and anxiety throughout October November and some of December, and we seem to just keep trucking on with no real reason at this point. We’re just trying to remain happy, calm and spend as much time as we can with each other to try and combat the depression we’ve been feeling. 

Because we’re still in debt from the move and catching up on payments and had sick spisodes preventing us from working a few days… I decided to share my Amazon Wish List with you and highlight a few things that we need for our apartment and home life and what’s on my Christmas List. Your Christmas List is supposed to be things that you would never splurge on for yourself, however, with the recent events of this year and being broke, it seems my list grew to be things that I or we actually need that we don’t have much money for sadly. 

  1. Rechargeable Fabric Shaver, Lint Remover  As most of my readers know, we have kitties… and this helps with removing lint, cat hair and fuzzies that may accumulate from the laundry. We also do not have a washer and dryer in the house because there’s no room and laundromats only can do so much for your clothes. This is something I’ve always wanted for our sweaters, too.
  2. Kinesiology Tape Precut My husband and I both have back problems. We love using this tape on our back for therapy and use it constantly, but it’s sometimes expensive to keep buying it for both of us to use, and have started to use it sparingly.

  3. Elevated Garden Flower Planter Bed We have a small yard, and with our back problems it’s sometimes hard to bend over for long and garden, and it’s usually me who takes care of all of it. Having raised gardens for our plants would be amazong and something my husband always wanted for each year because it’s easy to clean up, rake, harvest and saves garden space!

  4. DEWALT TSTAK Tool Box We have way too many tools. Way too many and the box we have everything in is just too heavy and we need an actual toolbox or two to fit everything. 

  5. Kitchen Island Cart We have very little counter space in our kitchen. So little, that I can’t even make cookies unless I clean off my kitchen table and take the table cloth off, and no room to put hot pots or pans that come out of the oven. We plan on re-doing some of the kitchen and making room for this.

Again, I know Christmas is supposed to be for things you really want that others splurge on for you that you would never buy for yourself mostly, but in our case, these are things that have been on my list and have wanted for awhile that we could really use. Instead of a new Urban Decay eyeshadow palette or new Apple Watch in order to upgrade, I’m chosing most of this stuff.

 

Tell Me Truthfully

Dear friends, followers, and anyone reading this;  

What would you change differently about it? What would you have said different? Is there something I’m missing? I would like to say goodbye to someone, before i leave from the area I am in, but I don’t know how to word things just right. I’m really put at a crossroads at this point. While I have let my personal emotions go, there’s still a part of me that will miss the friendship and extent of talking about this person. And I’m not sure how to say goodbye. I’ve tried undoubtedly hard to let everything go; and I have, honestly. This person made me who I am today, and I feel like a goodbye would be in order.. I don’t like to leave things open ended with anyone and closure and goodbyes are the way to do that. When once a major part of someone’s life, I feel that a proper goodbye is the way to let things go; it doesn’t matter who you are, or who you’ve become or what you’ll be down the line. Everyone is entitled to a goodbye.

If you received a message like this – honest and true – would you respond to it?

Hello.

You crossed my mind today. These last two weeks have really put into perspective for me how my life will be come October. I’ve had so many great things happen for me in such a short time and Im starting to feel alot happier with things, with someone by my side who accepts me for my past and how I am. 

I’m sorry to have upset you, or whatever it was I did at any given time. I was still bitter. And I accept your apology as well, even though I never received one. But we had a great friendship, before everything, and it was ruined. 

I am leaving PA for certain in October. And I would really like to have the chance to say goodbye; or something of the like with my last 4 months here. If not, I understand. Sometimes goodbyes are forever.

And I accept that.

I Wish I May, I Wish I Might…

I haven’t written in a few weeks. I’ve been meaning to, I just find it harder and harder to function daily with the recent job loss and other things going on in my life. I can honestly say, I’m not happy with where my life is right now, and I need to do something about it. I can’t find a job for the life of me in this area, but I’m trying. I have all the qualifications for Office work and I don’t know why these people aren’t calling me back for jobs when I clearly am a good fit for most if not all of them. Even through the Unemployment website I’ve been applying and looking and doing everything I can recently. It’s just not fair sometimes. I wish things were easier, but then it wouldn’t be called life I guess. There are alot of things I have been wishing for recently, but none of it seems to be going my way at all and it’s starting to become frustrating beyond belief.

I wish so called “friends” were actually friends to me. I’m not a second choice and I’m not an after thought. I am the first choice or you don’t give an ultimatum. If you’re my friend, you wouldn’t say “Yeah, sure, if I’m not going over so and so’s house or doing something else.” If I’m asking you, it means yes or no, not to decide after your better something can’t hang out or you can’t do something else.

I wish people realized that I’m a good person. I’m not stupid, retarded, crazy or any other things that people make me out to be. So I like texting, big whoop. Get over yourself and grow up and answer when I talk to you or something. Get over it. Can’t talk to you or see you in any other way so I’m sorry that the only communication I have with some people is through the phone. And people nowadays don’t even want to talk on the phone or god forbid video chat. What is wrong with people these days? Stop throwing excuses at me and be a damn friend to me.

I wish there were more jobs available and that people would see that I am a good fit for a lot of the ones that are posted that I reply to. I shouldn’t have to go chasing for anything at all. That’s not how this works. I apply, I follow up, I expect an answer whether it’s a yes or no. Ignorance is not my friend, and especially in the work place of any kind. I don’t care if it’s a grocery store or an office job or I’m your manager. You answer me when I talk to you and in a polite fashion as well.

I wish I got treated with more respect than what I’m given. To be perfectly honest, alot of people don’t realize that when life knocks you down, it’s very hard to get back up without the help of friends or family. To put someone even farther in the ground when they’re already down is just not going to help them get back up. Reach a hand out and help who’s even down and maybe one day something nice will happen for you. I’m always the one helping people it seems and I hardly ever get anything in return from those I help or those that mean most to me. It seems I have bad choice in people, because when I would gladly take a bullet for someone, they wouldn’t do so for me, unless it’s my mom. And that I know. But yet, I continue to help people. It’s my downfall. And I never get anything back for it even in the kindness of a thank you or something else of the like.

I wish I could find a job in design or photography or something that I love doing. I haven’t been able to locate anything here and it’s not a big city. I don’t have the money to move to a big city and live there just to find a job that’s just going to support rent and nothing else. It’s almost pointless for me to go back to school now really to get anything new completed unless it’s an online course or certification of some sorts. But that is one option for me really.

Am I loud and clear, or am I breaking up?
Am I still your charm, or am I just bad luck?
Are we getting closer, or are we just getting more lost?
I’ll show you mine if you show me yours first
Let’s compare scars, I’ll tell you whose is worse
Let’s unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words
We live on front porches and swing life away,
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I’ll slave till the end,
I won’t cross these streets until you hold my hand
I’ve been here so long, I think that it’s time to move
The winter’s so cold, summer’s over too soon
Let’s pack our bags and settle down where palm trees grow
I’ve got some friends, some that I hardly know
But we’ve had some times, I wouldn’t trade for the world
We chase these days down with talks of the places that we will go

Been at this now for awhile. Nothing’s going to get accomplished by writing and blabbering on here unless someone decides to be a friend and want to talk to me about what’s bothering me really. I maybe have a select few people I actually tell everything to. And even those people shouldn’t be told things because they just use them against me all the time anyway.

Cheers,

xoxox

|| Koral Dawn ||