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Working From Home

Working from home has become increasingly popular in recent years, and the COVID-19 pandemic has only accelerated this trend. Many people have discovered the benefits of working remotely, and with the advancements in technology, it has become easier than ever to work from home. In this blog post, we will explore the benefits of working from home and why it may be a great option for you.

Flexibility

One of the biggest benefits of working from home is the flexibility it offers. When you work from home, you have the freedom to set your own schedule and work at your own pace. You can take breaks when you need to, and you don’t have to worry about commuting to and from work. This flexibility can be especially helpful if you have other responsibilities, such as caring for children or elderly relatives.

Comfort

Another advantage of working from home is the comfort it provides. You can create a workspace that is tailored to your needs and preferences, which can help you be more productive. You can choose your own desk, chair, lighting, and temperature, and you can decorate your workspace in a way that makes you feel comfortable and inspired.

Reduced stress

Working from home can also help reduce stress. When you don’t have to worry about commuting or dealing with office politics, you can focus more on your work and less on external factors. This can help you feel more relaxed and less frazzled, which can improve your overall well-being.

Increased productivity

Studies have shown that people who work from home are often more productive than those who work in an office. This may be because they have fewer distractions and interruptions, or because they are more motivated to work when they are in a comfortable and familiar environment. Whatever the reason, the bottom line is that working from home can help you get more done in less time.

Improved work-life balance

Finally, working from home can help improve your work-life balance. When you work in an office, it can be difficult to separate your work life from your personal life. However, when you work from home, you have more control over your schedule and can more easily balance your work with your family, friends, and personal interests.

Working from home can be a great option for many people. It offers flexibility, comfort, reduced stress, increased productivity, and improved work-life balance. If you’re considering working from home, be sure to set up a dedicated workspace, establish a routine, and communicate regularly with your colleagues and managers.

With the right tools and mindset, you can be successful and productive while working from home.

Tips for First Time Cat Owners

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Cats are intelligent, independent, and curious animals that can make wonderful pets. However, caring for a cat can be quite a responsibility. If you’re thinking about adopting a cat or have recently welcomed one into your home, here are some tips on how to provide the best possible care for your feline friend.

Feeding
Cats are obligate carnivores, which means they have specific nutritional requirements that must be met in order to maintain good health. It’s important to provide your cat with high-quality food that is rich in animal-based protein and is appropriate for their age and activity level. Some cats may also have special dietary needs, so it’s a good idea to consult with a veterinarian to determine what type of food is best for your cat.
Litter Box
Cats are naturally clean animals, and ensuring they have a clean litter box is important for their well-being. You should scoop out the litter box daily and completely clean it out once a week. It’s also essential to provide your cat with a large enough box and to choose a litter that your cat finds comfortable.
Grooming
Cats are fastidious groomers and can spend up to 50% of their waking time grooming themselves. As a pet owner, it’s important to brush your cat regularly to prevent matting and hairballs. Also, trimming your cat’s claws every other week can help reduce the risk of scratches and maintain their health.
Exercise
Cats need regular exercise to stay healthy, happy, and mentally stimulated. You can provide your cat with plenty of toys to play with, and setting up a play area with a scratching post and climbing tree can give your cat plenty of opportunities to play and stretch.
Medical Care
Proper medical care is critical for your cat’s health. It’s essential to maintain regular vet visits, and your vet will provide your cat with vaccinations, parasite control, and annual checkups to ensure their health is in good shape.

Learning to care for a cat can be a rewarding experience, but it requires commitment, love, and care. By providing your cat with proper nutrition, a clean litter box, regular exercise, and medical care, you can enjoy a happy and healthy relationship with your feline friend.

Distraction in the Modern World – Taryn the Dragon

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Greetings to The Unsanity readers from Taryn The Dragon in South Africa. I work full time in the Data industry, study part time and blog on the side. I’m quite new to blogging and this is my first guest post. I’m super amped to have this opportunity. Thanks so much Koral Dawn.

What you need to know about me

I have depression and anxiety and a host of other chronic illnesses that have had a huge effect on my life. In 2019 I entered therapy to deal with all of the stress. I’m on a journey and I have had to take a deep look at myself and the world around me. There is an underlying theme that comes up often with mental health issues is that of mindfulness: Being conscious or aware and present in the moment.

Recently I have been watching videos that could help me become more in tune with myself. Observing people like Dr Gabor Mate, Alan Watt, Dandapani, in the hopes of understanding what mindfulness truly means. I know it sounds cliché but it has been quite a revelation. You can find my musings about this journey on http://www.dragonscodex.net.

Let’s talk about the world we live in

Adulting does not come with an instruction manual. Even great parenting does not quite prepare you for living in this golden age of technology. Information at the click of a button. Friends on WhatsApp (1 billion users) or WeChat (697 million users) or Facebook (1.59 billion users). Strangers on Twitter (320 million users) or Instagram (400 million users). Family just a Skype (300 million users) call away. [1] How do we actually get anything done? What I’m saying is that we now live for the thrill of ‘Distraction’. And this is why we need to cultivate a mind-set geared towards mindfulness.

How to move beyond distraction

Have you ever looked at your device and just thought “FFS ~ now what!?”. That’s a very good indication that you need to start practicing mindfulness for your own sanity. Let’s explore a few mindfulness concepts to aid you in your daily success.

Stop making excuses

Do what you say you are going to do. If that means going to the gym at 5am, do that without fail. You are building trust with yourself and in so doing gaining confidence in your decision making.

Control your awareness

Multi-tasking is great but it splits your focus and actually makes it harder to allot sufficient time to a specific endeavour. If you’re working on a proposal put the phone away and close your emails. The world will not fall apart if you give yourself 20 minutes to do something. Focus on this one thing. If your attention drifts bring it back to what you are doing.

Meditate

No I don’t mean go assume the cross-legged sitting asana and chant endlessly, unless that’s your jam. I mean have some quiet time to get away from the noise. Be still, sit with your thoughts, have a nice cup of coffee. Be comfortable doing absolutely nothing and being alone.

Get clarity

Know what you want to achieve. Know how you are going to achieve it. The easiest way to do this is to make a list or keep a journal. And always note your achievements as they keep you on the path you want to travel.

Walk away from energy vampires

Ain’t nobody got time for this! To quote Dandapani: “Treat energy the same way you treat money. It’s a finite resource that needs to be wisely managed and invested.”

Uplift others

When stuck in your own mind or even your own world where things are not quite going according to plan, do something for someone else without expecting any benefit in return. By uplifting others you uplift yourself. You’re present in a beautiful moment that will keep you going through difficult times.

Embrace change

All of these concepts require some effort on your part. It means you need come to terms with changing your life. As for me, it has helped me find this lovely Zen spot where there is less stress, more energy and more love. I’m really enjoying it this balance.

[1] Attribution for stats: https://makeawebsitehub.com/social-media-sites/

Learning To Slow Down in a Fast-Paced World – Zoe Thomson

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Learning To Slow Down in a Fast-Paced World

Convenience is wonderful. Having everything at our disposal, all the time. Never having to worry about opening hours when we have online shopping, or missing a TV show when we have catch up and streaming. But when everything is available 24/7, it means we have to be too.

People apologise for taking social media breaks, we’re overloaded with information, and if you don’t keep up with current events you’re left behind. We’re under pressure to be plugged in all the time and it’s taking a toll on our mental health.

We’re exhausted all the time because we’re not allowed to switch off. Every waking moment has to be filled with something productive so we can make more money, work more hours, learn more skills. And then we experience burnout, and we’re even farther behind, there’s no way we can catch up. It’s hard not to feel like we were doomed from the start.

Mindfulness takes the autonomy away from our day to day lives, and helps us slow down and truly be present in the moment. Practising mindfulness sounds like an easy task, but nowadays with constant stimulation and entertainment around us, it’s a real challenge to be bored. How many times have you picked up your phone today?

We weren’t meant to live at such a fast pace. When we slow down and take in our surroundings, we appreciate so many people and things that we might have previously took for granted. It’s better for our health, and it’s better for our relationships. Practising mindfulness helps us become more aware of our thoughts and feelings so we’re better able to manage them instead of getting overwhelmed. We’re more tuned in to our senses and surroundings and we’re less likely to do something on autopilot because our brain isn’t distracted – or it’s not desperate for a distraction anymore.

Mindfulness is easy to practice daily and doesn’t require hours of your time. You can practice mindfulness wherever you are or whatever you’re doing. If you find yourself being pulled in every direction and your thoughts are scattered all over the place, start with some mindful breathing. If you can, go somewhere quiet. Take one big, deep breath. Aim for around 5 seconds. Hold it for a second, and then exhale, releasing the tension from your brow, jaw, and shoulders. Imagine the hundreds of scattered thoughts and noise leaving with the tension, and allow yourself to start from the beginning with a clear mind.

There are loads of other great mindfulness techniques you can practice every day or just whenever you feel stressed.

Focusing on one thing, and not having your mind in six places at once, will reduce stress. The stress that used to pile up and eat away at you doesn’t have any power over you now; because you have control. You might eventually find that you don’t get as overwhelmed with the fast paced world as you used to, and you start doing things with intention, instead of just doing things for the sake of it. You might learn something about yourself, about what you need and what you don’t need. You’ll learn that it’s okay to disconnect, and go down your own path. The easiest way to win the game is to stop playing. Instant and autonomous works for robots; not people.

Author bio: Zoe Thomson is a freelance writer living in Scotland with her boyfriend and one spoiled pug. She runs her own mental health blog, No Light Without Darkness, and has published work on The Mighty and I am 1 in 4. You can find me here: Blog, Twitter

Bi Polar Disorder and Anger – A Raging Lunatic Tells All – Jodie Sand

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BIPOLAR DISORDER & ANGER: A RAGING LUNATIC TELLS ALL

My rage is like an old-school boombox with fresh D batteries. I carry it around with me but the music isn’t a catchy melody. When it explodes from the speakers, it’s static that grates on the nerves. It makes zero sense.

Sometimes, a stranger will invoke my wrath. But more often than not, my temper is directed at the people who I love the most or spend a lot of time with. It has cost me friendships, romantic relationships, jobs, loyalties and a marriage.

Taylor Swift’s Blank Space lyrics come to mind:

Wait the worst is yet to come, oh no
Screaming, crying, perfect storm
I can make all the tables turn
Rose gardens filled with thorns
Keep you second guessing like
“Oh my God, who is she?”

IT’S OK TO BE ANGRY

I’m not saying anger is inherently bad. My mom used to quote scripture about it: “Be angry and do not sin,” she advised (Ephesians 4:26). Popular psychology agrees about positive and negative methods to express your anger. I’ve been rightfully furious with disrespectful children, disloyal lovers, an ex-husband, friends and my family. But the volume and violence it feeds are shameful.

I spit eff-bombs and insults like an over-chewed piece of gum until my voice is hoarse. I’ve pushed, scratched and even thrown a series of punches at a man who gutted me with lies. Was my anger justified? Yes! Were the intensity of my anger and the cutting nature of my serrated words necessary. No!

Rage isn’t an emotion that shows up on lists of common bipolar disorder symptoms. Mood swings from suicidal depression to euphoric mania are the hallmarks of this tricky mental illness. In my case, these moods seem to be the key to the swells of emotions like stormy seas.

The hopelessness of depression makes me examine my life for toxicity and search for the root of my agony. I remember the people who I’ve loved who have gouged my broken heart. The bosses and coworkers who have sucked away my marrow. The comments from family who mean well but hack away at my façade of confidence and wellness. The friends who don’t call. The children who forget to do their chores.

This is the blame game I play. The blues don’t mellow me. They feed my festering rage until anger spews from my mouth like acidic vomit.

My episodes of mania are no kinder. The false happiness of mania euphoria waxes and wanes, sometimes all in the same day. My grandiosity and endless energy and the rapid speech and big ideas are exhausting. I’m too tired to sleep. Suddenly my tongue is forked. My patience is gone and my temper flares with righteous indignation. The blame game begins again.

PSYCHOTIC DELUSIONS

Psychosis is “a serious mental illness characterized by defective or lost contact with reality, often with hallucinations or delusions” (Merriam-Webster). In my anger, I’m psychotic. I’m paranoid at 3 a.m. when my meds fail me and rest is elusive.

I tell myself: No one cares. Everyone sees me for the fraud I am. Life is unfair. Everyone is out to step on me on their way to something better. I can’t convince myself otherwise. I’m raging. Is my life punctuated with trauma or am I the source of the drama? I wonder.

Bipolar disorder is the result of a chemical imbalance in the brain. “For those who have anger stemming from bipolar disorder, it can range from mild to wild,” according to MentalHealth.net (source). Mine is a wild ride.

While the bipolar community can’t seem to agree about whether or not anger is a symptom of bipolar disorder, they do agree about how to get help.

KNOW YOURSELF

Identify your anger triggers. Certain topics of conversation, events, activities and even personalities or people may initiate irritability or rage. Be mindful when you begin to get upset and then limit or control exposure to those things.

When you do find yourself in a sticky spot, politely disengage. Resist the urge to be embarrassed. Tactfully end the conversation, hang up the phone with a pre-planned excuse or graciously excuse yourself and walk away. Don’t be shy about setting boundaries. You’ll really be embarrassed if your anger dominates the situation.

The second part of knowing yourself is identifying and engaging in activities or visiting places that calm and bring serenity. Make a list of your triggers and strategies to alleviate them.

Home is my haven and oasis. An afternoon of solitude is often where I find the most peace. Harnessing your bipolar disorder is not a mind-over-matter problem to be solved. Along with schizophrenia, bipolar disorder is the most dangerous mental health problem. If you suspect that you are bipolar or a diagnosis has been confirmed, you need medication!

CONSULT YOUR HEALTHCARE PROFESSIONALS

Bipolar disorder presents a very real risk of suicide. Don’t try to convince yourself that you won’t get that bad or you’ll know when to ask for help. Trust me; you won’t! You’ll also endanger yourself, your reputation, and other people if your behavior becomes reckless or impulsive.

If you’re taking lithium for your bipolar disorder and you notice irritability or aggression, talk to your doctor. These are not common symptoms of this mood stabilizer, but patients who are prescribed lithium have reported increased irritability, according to Healthline.com (source).

No matter what you’ve been prescribed to treat your bipolar disorder, don’t change or stop taking your medication without consulting your doctor. Unmonitored med tweaks can trigger dangerous depressive or manic episodes.

Even when you feel like your illness is well-controlled on medication, do yourself a favor and see a mental health therapist. A counselor can employ Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to help. CBT is “psychotherapy that combines cognitive therapy with behavior therapy by identifying faulty or maladaptive patterns of thinking, emotional response, or behavior and substituting them with desirable patterns of thinking, emotional response, or behavior” (Merriam-Webster). Anger management classes may also be helpful if group therapy is your jam.

Don’t forget the French proverb: “Anger is a bad counselor” (source).

SOURCES

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/psychosis
https://www.mentalhelp.net/bipolar/and-anger/
https://www.healthline.com/health/bipolar-disorder/bipolar-anger#is-anger-a-side-effect-ofmedication
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/cognitive%20behavioral%20therapy
https://www.quotes.net/quote/40350

About the Author: Jodie is a chronic illness and mental health blogger who battles fibromyalgia, bipolar disorder I, Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) and gastroparesis every day. Her primary focus is fibromyalgia but her mental well-being her and gastrointestinal issues influence the way she deals with her chronic illness. She created CutTheChronic.com after job loss revealed she is no longer employable in a traditional way. Jodie is a former reporter and marketing professional with a degree in journalism. Reflecting on her skills, training and passions pointed her toward blogging as her next career move. Jodie finds writing extremely therapeutic as she searches for answers and hope for herself and other chronic illness sufferers. Means to living a better life reveal themselves in the process and inform her posts. She is fleshing out her blog with a body of posts that are educational, research-focused, inspirational, instructional, honest, raw and humorous. Jodie finds joy and strength in her husband Trevor and their blended family of three children. Her three loud and goofy hound dogs and a personality-packed flock of seven ducks provide levity. She’s a documentary junkie, novel reader (when she has time), car camper, stand up paddle boarder, yoga dabbler and runner. She’s also a foodie with a passion for home cooking. She is writing a low FODMAP cookbook to help her make peace with her IBS and gastroparesis and share with her readers. You can find her at her website Cut The Chronic.

Blogmas – Last Minute Stocking Stuffers

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Hello everyone and welcome to one of the last Unsanity #Blogmas posts for the 2019 season! I didn’t have the patience or time to write one blog per day, so I opted for 10-12 over the course of the month to give myself time to get them uploaded and scheduled.

I hope you’ve been enjoying them like I have been while writing them for you. There’s alot of good stuff in here, and it’s going to be hard not to want to duplicate some next year (yes, I plan to do it again! We’ll see how the year goes leading up to December haha.)

This post is all about Stocking Stuffers for you last minute shoppers who need small gifts for your co-workers or family/friends. All of these are under $10 USD too no less! (This is in no way an ad and I do not get any compensation for featuring these item’s on my blog whatsoever. These are items I have selected from personal interest.)

Christmas Mad Libs to play with your family during the gathering.

This caffeine free sugar cookie tea for the tea lovers to try during the cold winter months.

Everybody loves surprises – give the gift of cherries and a surprise inside with this bath fizzer.

Have a friend who loves Maker’s Mark? Get them this awesome sweater for their bottle you bought them for Christmas.

This Cake Decorating tip set from Baker’s Dozen should do the trick for the baking enthusiest in your friends group.

For the man in your life who shaves every day for work – this cream fights razor burn and nicks to keep him smooth.

Infused with Dead Sea Salts to give you younger smoother skin. Maybe stick with giving this to a friend vs a co-worker. They might get the wrong impression, lol.

For the child on your list, or for a co-worker who needs something to occupy them on lunch.. this is the perfect fun gift to give!

Blogmas – Favorite Holiday Cocktail Recipes

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Christmas time is almost here, and what do you never see me during the holiday season without? A drink in my hand! With the stress and hard times that come with Christmas, gift giving, making holiday dinners and yet somehow still dealing with work and everything outside of it in your home life – you better believe that I’m going to need a nice strong drink to get me through alot of the holiday season this year.

I’ve curated a list of my favorite cocktails that I’ve actually made and tested out for you guys to try at home. Alot of them are super easy because I’m a drink minimalist (give me straight whiskey and I’m fabulous) but some have just the right touches like apples and cranberries to get you in the holiday spirit. (Most of these I’ve come across on Delish or other websites. Photos are not my own.)

Christmosas

This one is a personal favorite because it has fruit in it and it’s so simple yet so tasty to enjoy more and more of Christmas morning.

INGREDIENTS

2 Granny Smith apples, chopped

1 c. whole fresh cranberries

1 c. green grapes, halved

1 c. pomegranate seeds

1 c. sparkling grape juice

1 bottle champagne, prosecco, or cava

DIRECTIONS

In a large pitcher, combine apples, cranberries, grapes, and pomegranate seeds. Pour over sparkling grape juice and champagne and stir, then serve.

Mulled Wine

INGREDIENTS

1 (750-ml.) bottle red wine

1 orange, sliced into rounds, plus more for garnish

6 whole cloves

3 cinnamon sticks, plus more for garnish

3 star anise

1/4 c. honey

1/2 c. brandy

DIRECTIONS

In a medium saucepan over medium heat, combine all ingredients. Bring to a simmer not a boil, then reduce heat to medium-low. Simmer gently over low heat for 10 minutes. Serve warm and garnish with more citrus slices and cinnamon sticks.

White Christmas Margaritas

INGREDIENTS

1 (14-oz.) can unsweetened coconut milk

12 oz. silver tequila

8 oz. triple sec

1/2 c. lime juice

2 c. ice

1 lime, sliced into rounds for garnish

Lime wedge, for rimming glass

Sanding sugar, for rimming glass

Cranberries, for garnish

DIRECTIONS

Combine coconut milk, tequila, triple sec, lime juice and ice in a blender. Blend until smooth.

Rim glasses with lime wedge and dip in sanding sugar. Pour into glass and garnish with lime and cranberries.

Jingle Juice

INGREDIENTS

4 c. Cran-Apple Juice

2 bottles red moscato

1 bottle prosecco

1/2 c. vodka

2 c. frozen cranberries

1/3 c. mint leaves

1/2 c. sugar, for rimming glasses

2 limes, sliced into rounds

DIRECTIONS

Using a wedge of lime, wet the rim of your glasses. Dip in sugar until coated.

Combine all ingredients in a punch bowl, stir together and serve.

Apple Cider Old Fashioneds

This one is another personal favorite because I love apple cider and I love whiskey of any kind. It’s kind of my preferred alcohol of choice whenever I want some.

INGREDIENTS

1/2 c. ice

2/3 c. apple cider

2 oz. whiskey

2 dashes Angostura bitters

Apple slices, for garnish

Cinnamon sticks, for garnish

DIRECTIONS

Combine all ingredients in glass and stir to combine.

Mistletoe Shots

This is for all of you shot lovers out there who aren’t ready to give up the college vibe yet, or just want something small to get you by during a christmas party.

INGREDIENTS

Lime wedge, for rimming glasses

Red sanding sugar, for rimming glasses

1 c. water

2 (3-oz.) packet lime Jell-o mix

8 oz. vodka, chilled

whipped cream, for garnish

Mint leaves, for garnish

Red Hots, for garnish

DIRECTIONS

Run a lime wedge around the rim of each shot glass then dip each shot glass into the red sanding sugar.

Bring water to a boil in a medium saucepan. Once bubbling, stir in packet of lime Jell-o mix, stirring until completely dissolved. Turn off heat. Pour in vodka or tequila (or whatever your preferred alcohol is), mixing until thoroughly combined. Pour into a large measuring cup, small pitcher or another glass so it’s easier to pour into the shot glasses. Pour the lime Jell-o mixture into each of the shot glasses. Place the shot glasses into the refrigerator until the Jell-o sets, about 2 hours.

Garnish with whipped cream, mint leaves, and red hot candies.

Gingerbread Eggnog

This final one is a bit longer… but it’s so worth it for all of you gingerbread lovers out there!

INGREDIENTS

1 c. heavy cream

1 (1-inch) piece ginger, sliced

2 tsp. pure vanilla extract

8 whole cloves, crushed

6 allspice berries, crushed

2 cinnamon sticks, broken

1/4 tsp. freshly grated nutmeg, plus more for serving

4 c. whole milk, divided

8 large eggs, separated

3/4 c. granulated sugar

Pinch kosher salt

3/4 c. to 1 c. dark rum, cognac, bourbon, or a combination

DIRECTIONS

Combine heavy cream, ginger, vanilla, cloves, allspice, cinnamon, nutmeg, and 2 cups milk in a medium saucepan. Cook over medium heat until tiny bubbles begin to appear around the edge of the pot (do not let boil), 2 to 3 minutes. Remove from heat and let steep 30 minutes.

Meanwhile, beat egg yolks with an electric mixer on medium speed until combined. Gradually beat in sugar and salt. Increase mixer speed to high and beat until thick and very pale in color, 2 to 3 minutes.

Strain spiced cream mixture, discarding spices; return to pot. Slowly whisk 1 cup warm cream mixture into yolk-sugar mixture on low speed; return to pot with cream mixture. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly with a rubber spatula, until mixture reaches 170°F and coats the spatula, 12 to 15 minutes.

Place the pot over a large bowl filled with ice water and let cool, stirring occasionally, until chilled, 20 to 30 minutes. Stir in rum, cognac, or bourbon and remaining 2 cups milk.

Just before serving, beat egg whites with an electric mixer on medium-high speed until soft peaks form, 1 to 2 minutes; fold into eggnog. Serve topped with nutmeg.

High Pressure BPD – theboywithbpd

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Borderline Personality Disorder and pressure wouldn’t be my first-choice of cocktails, yet here I am having a big old pitcher of the stuff every day.

I’ve been racking my brain on how to write this piece, what’s the best angle? But the only way I can write it, is to make it about me. Not in a showy off way, I’m not that vain, but I admit parts of it will come across so. It’s not really an inspirational piece either, maybe a little, more advisory, a little cautionary perhaps. A tale of two sides.

A brief history lesson into me, I’m 38, I have 3 kids, at the time of writing they are 7, 2 and 7 days old. I have been with Sarah my partner for 10 years this November and I have BPD. I’ve always known there was something ‘different’ with me but I was only diagnosed 6 months ago, mainly because of the little breakdown I had, but that’s another story.

I have been for the first 37 years of my life what you call ‘high-functioning’, meaning from the outside you wouldn’t have clue if I was depressed, suicidal, manic or somewhere in between. I also haven’t told many people of my diagnosis, only 12 to be precise. None of which I work with. I was the master of bottling things up. On one side you could say it’s served me well in my career, on the other you could say it caused my breakdown. Eventually that pressure has to go somewhere right?

For any of you that work in Recruitment you will know how tough it is, for those that don’t, I don’t have the word count to explain, you’ll have to just trust me. I specifically work in Technology Recruitment; it is very sales and target driven. It is also very cut throat, I have worked in places where if you don’t hit target for 3 months you are fired, no ifs or buts. Fired.

Yet somehow here I am 12 years in the job. I also manage 4 teams, I am a Billing Manager, which means not only do I have to hit my own personal sales target, I have to make my teams do also. Combined I am responsible for a target of just over £1m.

That is a big number with a lot of pressure.

I hate it. I fucking hate it.

But let’s start with the good stuff, the showy off stuff. The money is good, I’m not a millionaire, I’m not rich, but good enough that Sarah doesn’t need to work, the kids don’t go without holidays and any new toys they want. I was also able to buy my house with no outside help. We generally do what we want, within reason.

Great right?

Yeah, but it has come at a price. And that price is me. My job is the main cause of my depression, there are not many days that go by where I don’t think about jumping in front of that train. I have lost count of the times I have sat crying in the toilet, or holding back tears as I walk home. Every day I want to cry. Every damn day.

The worst part?

It’s all by my own design, I am held hostage by my own circumstances. I am in a position where I don’t know how much longer I can cope with my job mentally, but I also have the responsibilities that come with it, and the mortgage my job has allowed me to have. It’s not like I can just quit and start again.

I didn’t lie, this piece is not an inspirational one, I suppose you could say I have managed to hold down a well-paid and high-pressure job with my BPD which may inspire others to believe they can do the same. But then you have to take the cautionary side into consideration, the pressure and the damage it has done.

There is a third option, the way that I would like this story to be taken if I had my say. You could, use it as a metaphor for not judging a book by its cover. From the outside I have ‘nothing to be depressed about’, you never can tell what someone is coping with, especially if they don’t want you to.

For the gods of mental health, we are a walking buffet, everyone is up for grabs, BPD and other disorders have no prejudice, we shouldn’t either.

Author Bio: I am theboywithbpd. I was only recently diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, I’ve always known there was something, ever since I was a kid, but it took a breakdown to find out. I am 38 years old and have three kids with my partner Sarah. I am now finally trying to do the things I’ve always wanted to, writing being one of them, you can read my blog here https://www.theboywithbpd.com/

Blogmas – The Ten Best Holiday Treats to Make This Season

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So, it’s Friday the 13th… in December… and it’s #Blogmas! I don’t think it could get any better than this for a sweet treat post for the holidays. I know alot of you may think Friday the 13th is meant to be bad luck, but I think it’s good luck because it’s in December near Christmas – that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

I’ve scoured the internet for the most fun, easy and best Christmas themed treats that you can make for a holiday party or co-workers this year. Anything from mini cakes, to Oreos, to fudge – alot of these in this list I have also tried myself in the past and have great sucess with recipes like these.

Sit down, put your Christmas music on, and take a read through these simple and fun recipes you can try at home this month.

10. CHOCOLATE CRANBERRY CHRISTMAS MINI CAKES (VEGAN, GLUTEN-FREE, NUT-FREE) For those of you wanting a vegan, gluten free and nut free option that (almost) everyone can eat, this is the recipe for you! These delectible little cakes are adorable and easy to construct with the help of the online instructions. (Photo from linked post with recipe.)

9. CHRISTMAS SUGAR COOKIE BITES These delicious cookie bites will look pretty in a bowl at a Christmas Cookie Exchange or on your Holiday dessert table at your family dinner table. These simple and easy to bake sugar cookie bites are an easy way to get into the holiday spirit. (Photo from linked post with recipe.)

8. CREME DE MENTHE CREAM PUFF TREE What’s better than normal cream puffs on Christmas? How about these tasty Creme de Menthe Cream Puffs that your family will destory in a matter of mere minutes? Now THIS screams holiday party to me! (Photo from linked post with recipe.)

7. PEPPERMINT SWIRL FUDGE 1 and a half pounds of peppermint fudge? Sign me up! This simple recipe takes roughly 15 minutes to put together and then the hard part of cooling comes into play when it’s all done. But not to worry – you can hold out just a little longer for this delicious treat! (Photo from linked post with recipe.)

6. CREME Brûlée SUGAR COOKIES Now for this one, you’re going to need a kitchen torch. If you don’t have one, go out and buy one right now because you’ll be wanting to make dozens of these for every holiday party you’re invited to this season. Carmelized sugar? Creme Brûlée? What could be better? Oh yeah, adding in sugar cookie to the name! (Photo from linked post with recipe.)

5. CHRISTMAS POPCORN This Christmas popcorn has M&Ms, bits of candy cane, white chocolate and red and green drizzle all over! It’s a great alternative for Santa for Christmas Eve instead of cookies, or as a neighbor gift during the holiday season. It’s super easy to make and goes a long way. (Photo from linked post with recipe.)

4. EASY CHRISTMAS TREE BROWNIES With only six ingredients and lots of fun sprinkles, how can you say no to brownies that look like Christmas trees?! This cute fun recipe I found would be great for a holiday center piece of a dessert table, or for a work party (if you can make enough!) (Photo from linked post with recipe.)

3. STRAWBERRY MOUSSE DESSERT CUPS Another easy dessert for the holiday party at work you can make to please almost everyone! This recipe only calls for 7 ingredients and takes only 25 minutes to prep. Isn’t that magical? If you decide to make these this season, please let me know how they turn out! (Photo from linked post with recipe.)

2. REINDEER TREATS You’ve probably seen these all over the place around Christmas if you have children or if you have friends that have kids. This super simple yet adorable recipe can be completed by a 5 year old and they will be damn proud of themselves! If you need a break from baking, have them help make these with you to enjoy! (Photo from linked post with recipe.)

AND FINALLY

MY PERSONAL FAVORITE & NUMBER ONE TREAT…

1. OREO TRUFFLES I picked this specific recipe because this is almost identical to what I make roughly 6 times a year for friends and family. They absolutely LOVE them and always ask for more, especially my mom! These are the best damn things to grace this earth (oreos, duh) and whoever came up with this recipe deserves a prize! (Photo from linked post with recipe.)

Blogmas – Frugal Winter Date Night Ideas

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MERRY BLOGMAS

Winter is usually full of snow (depending where you live, if you’re in PA like us, it’s FULL of snow and staying in most times) and cold temperatures. With the holidays around the corner, and buying gifts for the family and others in your life, sometimes there’s less money in the budget for enjoying the things you and your significant other like to do to wind down.

Remember, not every thing needs to cost money to enjoy each other’s company, but you also want to be mindful that you need to keep your mental health in check during the stressful holiday season. Winding down with some cheap, easy and fun things to do with your S.O. when you can, will definitely help. What I’ve done is curated a list of 10 cheap and fun date ideas you can do during the cold winter nights.

Play the board games you have! You can make it a fun competition with some sort of prize or where the loser needs to do the laundry for the week or clean the bathroom for a month.
Go sledding. Sledding was the highlight of winter during our childhood, so hit the hills to go sledding again this winter. Sometimes all you need is a little rush to make you feel like a kid again or take away the stress for just a bit.
Decorate your tree together. Either pick out a real tree or set up your fake tree together. Turn on the holiday music and get cozy as you prepare for Christmas the right way! Even putting up for decor outside can help decrease stress.
Make/test cocktails for holiday parties. Google some recipes and put all those bottles that are sitting on your mini bar cart to good use. Test out the recipes and pick the best ones for the upcoming holiday party you’re hosting!
Build a snowman. Get all bundled up and hit the yard to make a snowman or snow angels! Even if it’s only for a half an hour after work one day when you have a bit of time together, it will still bring back some nostalgia to your day.
Go to trivia night. Test out your knowledge while drinking beer and cocktails. It’s a great way to have a competition with your partner and see who can come up as the winner of all!
Make an indoor picnic. Some of you may like the cold and want to picnic outside, but if the temperature is -5 below zero, you may want to think of an alternative! Put a blanket in your living room or on your bed even and make some picnic food and enjoy an afternoon in!
Cook food together. Cooking together can be fun, so long as you can agree on the meal. Once you pick a meal, grab a drink and enjoy each other’s time and learning a new recipe that will hopefully turn out great.
Have a boozy snowball fight. Grab your flask or a bottle of wine to split and conjure up a snowball fight with forts and fight to the death (no, not really!) The more the merrier, see if any local friends want to come over and enjoy the snowball fight too.
Go bowling. This one came to mind because my husband and I love bowling and we usually turn it into a friendly competition. Some alleys have drinks, apps and pizza that you can enjoy or even bowling packages for the winter months. Get out and have fun!

Virtually Yours, Koral Dawn

I work hard so my cats can have tuna

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What you need to know about me

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Blogmas – The Ten Best Holiday Treats to Make This Season

AND FINALLY

MY PERSONAL FAVORITE & NUMBER ONE TREAT…

Blogmas – Frugal Winter Date Night Ideas

MERRY BLOGMAS